Venting Why does it hurt so much?

[CandyK__]

I love someone who used to feel similar about me, but since they know I like they avoid me at all cost. For some time we decided to talk tie off and we did for 3 months, and then we met again, and they were smiling a lot. I thought we went back to normal, but they told me they don't want to be friends anymore when I asked them why they were acting weird. And even though they tell me they don't have capacity to be friends with anyone, they complain about their girlfriend not wanting to hang out with her, and then she says it's so hard it find someone to hang out with. I spent so much money on her gifts, I sacrificed so many days and other plans to hang out with her, but still she choses to be with someone who doesn't care about anyone, and this is her girlfriends own words. And they're all polyamorous. I'll tell her how I feel and if she doesn't cuts me out of her life completely I'll just CTB, without that I'm nothing. Psychotherapy, Antidepressants, but all I need is someone who understands me, and she does. I feel horrible every time I have sex with strangers, regardless I still do it. Her name is theo, and they're my only one.