Why do people think I do not have any boundaries

[Stroopwafel.]

I'm a human being as well, I do have boundaries as well and everyone just keeps crossing them over and over and over again. I'm literally yelling for months now that I can not do this anymore. But they just don't listen. They keep going and going and pushing and pushing.

Wednesday I broke down. I'm exhausted and my body and mind are not doing a thing anymore. All I can do is lay in bed, not being able to do a damn thing anymore and still those people expect me to keep going. I CAN'T ANYMORE. And because of that I will probably be send away soon from the place I'm at now and that means I'll be homeless.

Only a few more weeks I keep trying to tell myself. My SN will hopefully arrive in a few weeks. I have most of the other things ready and prepared. A few more weeks of surviving this hell. I can not wait to leave, I'm so ready for it. I'm so ready. My wish to die is so strong and I really need to fight myself a lot to not do anything impulsive and dumb. Just wait for the SN and go peacefully. But it's so hard to wait atm ugh.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sometimes other people just don't understand as they are not in that position themselves. They aren't suffering the same. Other people really can bring us so much pain and it is an awful feeling to be constantly under pressure. The mind isn't designed to deal with that. I wish you the best if you want to leave this world, it really is hard to die as so much can go wrong but nobody deserves to suffer in this world.

 

[WornOutLife]

Typical.
They tell us we should "move on" and we can't even get our shoes on.

 

[Stroopwafel.]

Typical.
They tell us we should "move on" and we can't even get our shoes on.

This is just so true. It's literally my mom right now. She means so well and I love her so much, but she doesn't understand I can't just move on at the moment.

She's just so scared and anxious about my situation and she tries to push me into doing something so that the place I'm at right now, won't send me away before July 13th. There's a good chance that's gonna happen, as I'm totally incapable of following the program with the way things go rn. And they do blame me for it and expect me to just to my thing. But I can't anymore. I just can't. Because you guys treat me like shit as well and that's been happening for many years now and I can't handle it anymore.

They will dump me on the streets and make me homeless at July 13th, if things aret fixed by then. (There's like a 50% chance it isn't) and they expect me to UNDERSTAND THEM, when I'm the ungrateful cunt in their eyes, because 'they try so hard and with so many people to fix things before the 13th of July'. Man I'm so done.