Discussion why do people have this narrative that suicide is selfish?

[unrest]

like where did this thought even come from? legit there was never a time in my life where i talked to somebody who was showing suicidal ideation and thought "what a selfish person..." i really don't understand it.

 

[ToTheTwillight]

Not trying to propagate this, but despite as pessimistic and hopeless as it may seem to you (generally speaking), there are still those who would be negatively affected by your lose, and they feel you not caring for them by choosing to take your own. They wish you were thoughtful of them, and by cbt, you come off as you didn't think of them and how it affects them.

 

[Prime0]

They say that but sometimes parents are the main reason why one suicides, also forcing someone into this shithole, abusing them in various ways and then guilt tripping them for wanting to suicide is one hell of assholishness.

It's illogical yes, but humans aren't rational animals anyway, most things we do are just instinct based, like procreation yet they're largely accepted by society because we're also stupid social animals losing our mind in crowd.

 

[blue_muse]

I think it's so the wrongdoers can absolve themselves from truly resonating with another person's suffering.

 

[imissmykitten]

their logic is that suicide is selfish because it brings pain upon others for "the easy way out". i can see how can someone thinks this, but it's just as selfish to want a suicidal person to suffer for their own sake. ultimately, we as humans do a few selfish things in life for our own happiness, so i don't even think it being a selfish decision is as bad as people make it.

 

[Ferret77]

Exactly....Once I shared my mental health issues with someone close to me, and they got sooo mad at me....Saying that I'm such a selfish person for thinking about killing myself and not caring about the people I would leave behind.
It's obviously not that I don't care, but I think that the selfish thing is expecting a person, who's in mental, emotional or physical pain to keep living and keep being in pain, just because of you.

 

[Darkover]

it's all emotional blackmail
when a computer breaks down we take it to the repair shop and if it can't be repaired its throw out onto the garbage heap
no one considers the computer to be selfish for breaking down but when a person dies it can cause a great amount of pain
to the other people within their circle of friends and family the loss of a loved one can be extremely painful thats why it's
considers selfish when a person takes their own life.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Suicide isn't selfish, it's exactly the other way round. It's selfish to cause another individual agony and sufferings telling them that "everthing will get better" in the hope not to having to feel the pain when the other individual isn't alive any more. And yes, a death of a loved one or a person one knew, always causes pain. But it's also not a reason to keep someone alive who is suffering so much that they just want to end it.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I saw this on twitter and people were debating on this. Suicide is not selfish to me, the only people who are selfish are those who have their own selfish interests (I'm talking about myself here) they don't want you to commit suicide because they want you to be their " punching bag" and keep on "tormenting" and "harassing " you until you go full on crazy and they will continue doing that. I have someone who calls me his "best friend" to my face whilst doing all sorts of things behind my back. I will choose death than living a life that. I saw this happen to Caroline Flack people were trolling and abusing her relentlessly until she had to take her own life because it can be a lot and it is a lot for one person to take so much venom and scrutiny and it can become a witch hunt and everyone will be joining on the band wagon.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that those who label suicide as being "selfish" are really the self centred ones, I think they do that as they wouldn't want the people they know to end their existences and they don't want to leave this world themselves, so they don't understand what it's like to want to die.

But if people call suicide "selfish", then it should never matter and they should just be ignored as the fact is that none of us are obligated to continue existing and we shouldn't be forced to endure this dreadful existence just because other people want us to, the true selfish thing is expecting people to stay here against their wishes. The reality is that suicide could never be something that is "wrong" and it's perfectly logical wanting to escape from all future suffering, existing is completely meaningless in the first place.

 

[Linda]

like where did this thought even come from? legit there was never a time in my life where i talked to somebody who was showing suicidal ideation and thought "what a selfish person..." i really don't understand it.

The idea is embedded in our culture and it comes from christianity. Other cultures don't suffe;r from that deusion. (They may hav different delusions of their own, but that's another matter.)

 

[Ashu]

Because they can't imagine feeling this way. And they don't even want to try.

 

[deadwinter]

the belief that suicide is selfish is undoubtedly more selfish than committing suicide could ever be

 

[JustWantOut500]

Because they truly don't understand just how bad of a point one has to get to to resort to CTB, and in their mind people having to grieve for a while is worse than someone passing because it was a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" etc.

 

[SolomonKado]

when I think about CBT I think of the people who I asked for help stop coming around because I was too far gone. When you do CBT people say "why didn't they come to me", "what did I do wrong", I love this one "Why didn't they ask for help." My death was made all about their selfish needs. If anything, they no longer have to worry about me being "this."

I worry when I CBT that the city is going to make me a statistic instead of use it to fix a problem. This is selfish because no one wants to say they were responsible, but they want to call you "Selfish."

I wouldn't call it selfish to CBT. I call it finally taking your life into your own hands instead of making it about everyone else for once. They won't see it that way though because ultimately people are selfish and don't want to take responsibility for your demise.

In order to work with my sister to help me I gave her a lot of money. I told her it was for helping me. I thought it could be used for gas money to drive the 45 minutes to get to me. I was texted pictures of her daughter having fun at a program and a message that said "Thank you. This is what your money payed for." For the past few months I've sat alone continuing to spiral. Fuck being Selfish…

 

[brokeandbroken]

like where did this thought even come from? legit there was never a time in my life where i talked to somebody who was showing suicidal ideation and thought "what a selfish person..." i really don't understand it.

People call it selfish because it absolves them of feeling guilty for not doing enough to stop it.

 

[leloyon]

Is selfishness even a thing? To me, everything feels selfish.
For example, I was on a plane once and my brother's plane TV thing wasn't working, so he switched seats with my mom and hers wasn't working so he wanted to switch with me. Problem was, I wanted to watch a movie on my TV so I said no. He told me to stop being selfish and I eventually gave up on watching the movie and switched. I remember thinking that he was the selfish one for making everyone switch seats just for him. Truth is, we both were. I was selfish for wanting to watch my movie at his expense and he was selfish for the aforementioned reason. The only selfless person in this story was seemingly my mother and I don't think she wanted to watch anything anyway.
My point being, everyone is selfish. There are rarely acts that are selfless. However, it matters on how selfish something is. In that story, I would consider my brother more selfish than me.
With suicide, it may be selfish considering you will likely be hurting your loved ones via your death, however it is more selfish of them to expect you to stay alive and suffer just so they don't have to be sad about your death.

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

like where did this thought even come from? legit there was never a time in my life where i talked to somebody who was showing suicidal ideation and thought "what a selfish person..." i really don't understand it.

They have this narrative because of those that are left behind, and religion. The thing is, whatever they think is irrelevant, because once you do it, you're free.

 

[Toxinebulaic]

It's because they don't want to have to deal with the guilt and sadness that comes with death. Almost no one does. Because of that, they're mad at you for making them think about and come to terms with it at all. Society does not want to take accountability for its inadequecies, and so it will not accept that it was the driving factor in someone's suicide (as it usually is if a suicide is attributed to "selfishness"). Therefore, it's going to blame you and how selfish you were for the way they felt after you decided independently to commit suicide without any outside factors playing any sort of role.

It's a one dimensional and (most hilariously) selfish viewpoint, but what else can you expect from humanity.

Even the most "selfish" suicidal people are selfish in the same way people who drink water to quench their thirst are selfish. They are selfish to the extent that fulfilling a need based on a perfectly reasonable belief is selfish.

If you define selfish as an action someone takes for themself, anything can be considered selfish. Many people who commit suicide don't even do it for themselves though, they do it because they think everybody hates them, and that feeling is a result of the people around them, not necessarily themself. Committing suicidal is painful and difficult, it only happens when somebody is in agony and genuinely believes that the world would be better or at least no worse without them. Honestly, it's one of the least selfish things I can think of.

That's not to say that suicidal people automatically hold no accountability for their situation and are pristine souls who are completely selfless on account of them being suicidal, one thing you'll find is that reality is never so black and white, but I think it is very rarely selfishness that drives someone to commit suicide. If somebody wanted to appease themselves that badly, they wouldn't commit suicide, they would do terrible things for their own benefit with no regard for how others might feel. That happens to be something that the people running our society want us to pin on those most controversial so that we don't realize it's them we have to blame.

Suicidal people often are incredibly concerned with how other people might feel. In my personal experience of suicidality and the experiences I've heard from others, much of the suicidality comes from overthinking those feelings.

Frankly, I don't think I've covered every case here. People commit suicide for all kinds of different reasons and who knows? Some of them might genuinely be selfish for one reason or another, but I don't believe that suicide on the whole is selfish in any way.

Is selfishness even a thing? To me, everything feels selfish.
For example, I was on a plane once and my brother's plane TV thing wasn't working, so he switched seats with my mom and hers wasn't working so he wanted to switch with me. Problem was, I wanted to watch a movie on my TV so I said no. He told me to stop being selfish and I eventually gave up on watching the movie and switched. I remember thinking that he was the selfish one for making everyone switch seats just for him. Truth is, we both were. I was selfish for wanting to watch my movie at his expense and he was selfish for the aforementioned reason. The only selfless person in this story was seemingly my mother and I don't think she wanted to watch anything anyway.
My point being, everyone is selfish. There are rarely acts that are selfless. However, it matters on how selfish something is. In that story, I would consider my brother more selfish than me.
With suicide, it may be selfish considering you will likely be hurting your loved ones via your death, however it is more selfish of them to expect you to stay alive and suffer just so they don't have to be sad about your death.

This exactly. There's a school of thought that says everything is selfish. You help other people because it makes you feel good. You make sacrifices because it makes you feel justified for doing the right thing. Selfish should be defined as a lack of care for what other people want and an excessive emphasis on one's own goals, otherwise there is no action one could take that isn't selfish.

I'm not going to comment on the last sentence, because it's so well worded that there's nothing I could say to improve or recontextualize it. It's just great. In fact, I think I just might steal it and put it somewhere for later use. Well done.

Philosophy is fun, isn't it?