Why do I always fall for the professionals shit that they care

[cazza82]

Had my drugs counsellor appointment this morning well it didn't go well they try to get you to trust them so you open up then when you do that's when you realise they don't give a damn. All we want is for people to genuinely care right. She expects me to just snap outta this shit it doesn't work that way believe me if I could I would but don't make me feel bad just because I can't see a way out other than the one I've chosen. Just because she's seen people come out the other side and get better I mean from last week does she think I'm gonna be magically better she made me feel like I was just a problem just like everyone else in my life does everyday I don't need to feel that way from these so called professionals to. I mean I already know I'm worthless useless a failure a massive disappointment and she today just made that drastically worse why do I keep doing this to myself thinking what if what if when I know deep down I'm not going to get better. But it's just wrong that they get snarky or irritated just because I still feel the same as I did a week ago So thank you for adding to my pain. The sooner I realise NO one cares about me genuinely then maybe that SN will be easier to drink