Discussion Why didn't your last relationship work?

[houseofleaves]

The dude, er, CTB'd. End of story .

 

[hellispink]

When they refuse to communicate, it feels like a pretty one sided relationship. It sounds incredible frustrating to deal with especially when you're the only one putting in work. I'm glad you realized your worth and left. Do you miss him at all or have you either of you tried reaching out since breaking

When they refuse to communicate, it feels like a pretty one sided relationship. It sounds incredible frustrating to deal with especially when you're the only one putting in work. I'm glad you realized your worth and left. Do you miss him at all or have you either of you tried reaching out since breaking up?

When they refuse to communicate, it feels like a pretty one sided relationship. It sounds incredible frustrating to deal with especially when you're the only one putting in work. I'm glad you realized your worth and left. Do you miss him at all or have you either of you tried reaching out since breaking up?

We have talked after it happened. I still love him dearly but just as friends now. He is an amazing person. I wish I had met him at a different time where he already fixed his troubles with communication. I wish him the best though, but I can't stop feeling melancholic and sad about the breakup. For me it feels like a divorce, and my depression has gotten worse since he left. He was all I had.

 

[GentleJerk]

Cause I'm a dummy. The situation was complicated but ultimately I decided to throw away a good thing with a nice girl, to try and wife a hoe. At the end of the day, I deserve every bit of the heartbreak.

 

[bear_trapped]

she kept breaking up with me over the smallest things instead of actually communicating with me

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well it never really got off the ground but she probably got scared off when I revealed I was INFP and thus likely to get attached to her which might have been intimidating because in her words, I could do better. She was wrong about that but she was right that I'd get very attached. I mean it still affects me even though it's been over a year and a half.

Could also have been the fact that she had to move back to her home state and I don't have any place to call my own.

 

[chronicallybroken]

my ex was a very difficult person to talk to. He would bottle up all his feelings and opinions to himself. If I asked if something was wrong or bothering him, he would say "nothing" or that everything was "ok". I can't be in a relationship where someone doesn't know how to communicate at all. Trying to get him to talk to me was a hard job. I think he wasn't mature enough and he has to work on himself. Our relationship statted to fail as I got tired of him not opening up. He started chatting with someone only over text, I saw it and I decided to end the relationship. I understand he could have trouble expressing but it is one own responsibility to communicate. If they don't want to communicate and expect us to guess them out, I prefer to just leave.

Sounds very much like my experience. Amazing guy, kind, smart, you name it. I tried so hard to get him to open up, and he did, but rarely, and it felt like only under duress. He started counselling, and so did I. His inability to communicate with me led to a couple of blowouts and I realised I was putting in all the work to smooth things over, every time. But because he never said much - and my probable BPD - I never felt like things were truly resolved. I sucked it up and tried to move on. But last week I realised all the journalling letters to him wasn't getting me any closer to having the emotional connection we were lacking, and, after almost two years, I ended things. I am distraught - he may not have understood me but he was patient and kind and thoughtful.

I have a way to go with working on myself and I think he does too. Unfortunately we couldn't do this whilst together.

 

[deleted]

We weren't exactly boyfriends but we made promises to each other and we liked each other, finding out she was a bitch who slept with lots of guys and still had contact with her ex boyfriend, so for no reason I just stopped talking to her, this type of woman sucks

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

We were both people who were still in the process of getting our feet off the ground. Mental illness was a factor. So was a bit of gaslighting.

But I loved them genuinely.

Now here I am, nearly two weeks after receiving the news that they're dead.

What are the odds?

 

[Enigmatic Sailor]

She was bipolar and would constantly do drugs and impulsive things that I couldn't tolerate.

 

[_Minsk]

Too depressed

 

[Ceterum]

I took too much for granted and I also have my psycho problems ... both combined is not easy I guess, so I don't blame her for splitting up

 

[jodes2]

Wow, my last relationship? That's going back some. I wasn't attracted to her unfortunately. Not sure how I got into that relationship exactly. She was sweet.

 

[hamvil]

Not sure, i believe she used me to get a better treatment at work (I washer boss). I was abusive with her a few times as well. I mean verbally abusive. At the end she left me when I lost my job. I still love her so much and hate her at the same time.

 

[ManicPanic2018]

Started seeing a guy as a long distance deal (Him in Scotland and me in England). He's also a work colleague.

We fell in love before we met in person, and when he met in person he struggled to deal with me being 6ft6. Sex was also a struggle because the trans surgery has fucking mutilated me. Nor could he deal with my depression of being a mutilated trans fuck up.

Ended a few days ago while I was visiting him for 2 weeks. Dont blame him for any of it, it was a pretty mutual decision. Was a nice few months but its over now. Luckily I'm entirely WFH so should be able to cope with working together.

Oh, and I need up breaking up with my ex before that to be with this guy. That relationship also died because of sex issues caused by my post op situation. Fuck my life.

 

[reverse03]

Became too toxic and I let my emotions take me. I basically dig my own hole.