Why are you still alive?

[nitz]

You have all the information you need.
Why you still browser this site, instead just doing it!

Thinks not gone improve, somehow magicaly.

 

[Bandzbandz]

You have all the information you need.
Why you still browser this site, instead just doing it!

Thinks not gone improve, somehow magicaly.

I could ask you the same?

 

[wezel]

It needs preparation as it cannot fail, e.g. traveling to a far away foreign country, a trip I can only do when
work is off not to arouse suspicion and being hounded down by the police and whatnot.
Also researching the right method was quite a process.
I know now of 2 methods in detail that can work for me.
And then there is waiting for the moment when I feel it's right. That can be tomorrow if certain conditions prevail or in 1 or 2 months.
Nothing wrong hanging around here, it is a nice place to be amongst people who have a similar goal.

 

[tipsyczar]

laziness

 

[nitz]

I could ask you the same?

Mostly Survival instinct. Sometimes i think i never gone make it, but it has to be done.

 

[Mr2004]

Because it's a huge undertaking and I barely have the motivation left to get out of bed. If I could just die in my sleep but it's not that easy and I 'm not willing to try anything that might be excruciatingly painful in the hope it works. I want a gun but I 'm in the UK. I want to jump from a bridge but not without shooting myself first. There's also stuff I have to sort out that I really can't be bothered with. I might not care once I'm dead but I do whilst I 'm alive. I don't want to leave a huge mess for others to clean up. Then there's the small matter of trying to get my girlfriend pregnant which I don't expect everyone to agree with but she knows the situation and still wants one regardless. It's what she's always wanted but her biological clock is ticking. Whatever I think about life if I can give her that then I 've done some good by her and my life hasn't all been in vein. I've served my purpose, part of me will live on and she won't be left alone. This kid can still have a good life, it won't miss me when it never knew me and she'll be a great mum I'm certain of it

 

[Radaghast94]

My family's reaction and the fear of pain before death. I do want to die, but I don't want to die in agony.

 

[Borntodie]

I ask myself that question everyday

 

[Anarchy]

Survival instinct, laziness, fear, uncertainty, indecisiveness, not being able to imagine it succeeding, lack of closure, dislike of planning... the list goes on.

 

[skyofAuroras]

Because I don't want to hurt my family. But honestly at this point I don't really know why I'm still here. Maybe because I'm dumb and for some reason I still have some hope that things can get better.

 

[Bandzbandz]

Because I don't want to hurt my family. But honestly at this point I don't really know why I'm still here. Maybe because I'm dumb and for some reason I still have some hope that things can get better.

Hope is more than enough.
I've lost all of it.

 

[Charlie]

A friend wants to come visit me in october. I'll be honest and say i'm excited to meet them, they like me - I like them - It would be a fun 48 hours in a hotel room.
but if I'm honest but i doubt i'll be able to hold on for that.

Apart from that my nembutal has yet to arrive so tat is why I'm here

 

[Comatose11]

In a few weeks I'll be getting the house to myself for several hours. I figured it's worth waiting to eliminate getting found in time. I have the right rope and know what knot to tie.

 

[Mr2004]

My only hope is for time travel to become a reality. There's not much point continuing to go forward when all I want to do is go back

 

[skitliv]

Fear and guilt for me. We've answered this numerous times

 

[Breelia]

Because I had the cutest little guy laying next to me last night who loves his mamma so much.

It's really hard. I'm really torn. I want to be better for my kids but I've tried everything. I'm in therapy, I've tried antidepressants, I've tried anti-psychotic medications, I've tried meditation, I've tried art...what is left? I don't know. I've watched what mental illness has done to my extended family on my mother's side. I don't want the same thing to happen to my family. I'd rather make preparations for their future and leave them in peace before I make things worse for them.

I've attempted when I was a teenager, I slit my wrists and was found. I have tried to OD on amitriptyline twice. All failed attempts due to being uninformed. When I try this time I don't want to fail, I want to take my time and do it right. I'm here to discuss methods, to feel like I can talk to people who respect my decision and cause as little stress and suffering to others as possible.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

You have all the information you need.
Why you still browser this site, instead just doing it!

Thinks not gone improve, somehow magicaly.

You're right. I hate to say it but being on this site might be a limbo on its own. People will get pissed at me for saying so but if I'm on here for months at a time, there would have to be a reason and it would most likely be survival instinct. All the info is here (8chan, pph etc) and it doesn't take long to get what you need for a method, really (cept maybe N/H/Nitrogen).

 

[SnowyDreams]

I have to wait until my sister is back in town next month so I can trust her to be with my mom when I'm gone. I just want everything to be settled. And I've been held back by guilt. But I'm trying to get over that

 

[Delia]

fight or flight response, if i had enough money i'd buy n right away, i'm just v afraid of the pain.

 

[solacely]

Survival instinct, fear, and not wanting to hurt my parents. Mostly survival instinct, it's harder to go through with it than you think.

 

[Duqu]

I have a fear of "not existing" (even though logically I know it'll happen someday) it gives me panic attacks. Plus I grew up in a strict christian household and while I don't *really* believe that crap, I still have the "but what if?" thing going and the idea of hell for killing myself really freaks me out. Plus I have a cat that pines when I'm not around (was in the hospital for a month earlier this year and he was SO HAPPY when I took him home and spent the next week clinging to my legs). He's 11 though and when he does I'll have nothing. Plus I want to be absolutely sure so I want to get the right meds for SURE.

Won't stop me in the end.But for now that is it.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

1. I was born.
2. I haven't died yet.

But seriously tho I'm such a procrastinator, I can't do anything if there's no deadline. And the deadlines I set for myself are arbitrary, they don't mean anything. Sometimes I think that something absolutely horrible has to happen to like motivate me.

 

[Mr2004]

^
Procrastination is precisely why I 'm in this mess. Didn't sort my problems out when I actually had the chance. There's no coming back from that

 

[StarDust]

Bc I will be sober before I go...I owe myself that.... I talked about that in alcoholics thread. Once I am sober....even if it is just for 2 weeks, I am out of here...I can go home

 

[Gevatsu]

I keep delaying the inevitable. I tell myself that today is my last but when the day ends, I choose to sleep and do it sometime else.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Because I am a COWARD !!! I hate myself :(

 

[StarDust]

Because I am a COWARD !!! I hate myself :(

Hey there....don't say that...you are not a coward, it is called self preservation; we all have it.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Because it's a huge undertaking and I barely have the motivation left to get out of bed. If I could just die in my sleep but it's not that easy and I 'm not willing to try anything that might be excruciatingly painful in the hope it works. I want a gun but I 'm in the UK. I want to jump from a bridge but not without shooting myself first. There's also stuff I have to sort out that I really can't be bothered with. I might not care once I'm dead but I do whilst I 'm alive. I don't want to leave a huge mess for others to clean up. Then there's the small matter of trying to get my girlfriend pregnant which I don't expect everyone to agree with but she knows the situation and still wants one regardless. It's what she's always wanted but her biological clock is ticking. Whatever I think about life if I can give her that then I 've done some good by her and my life hasn't all been in vein. I've served my purpose, part of me will live on and she won't be left alone. This kid can still have a good life, it won't miss me when it never knew me and she'll be a great mum I'm certain of it

On my days off I hate getting out of bed. :( I have wanted to die in my sleep for years. It never happens. :(
I also would like not to leave a mess either.
I would really think about getting your girlfriend pregnant. If you end up not ctb even for a while, you would be stuck with a kid... unless you want one. (The Anti-Natalist coming out in me) Also as much as you hate it here do you want to inflict this world on a child you may not be here for.
In the event you do ctb and your girlfriend has to raise the child alone it may resent you for not sticking around. Not that it will matter to you.
The kid may have a good life but it probably would have liked to have known his biological father.
I really think the most important thing really is the child …. not someone's biological clock. ;)
Just an opinion ;) You obviously don't have to consider it.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hey there....don't say that...you are not a coward, it is called self preservation; we all have it.

I'm a coward at life and a coward at dying. I don't know if it is self preservation or not wanting to hurt people I care about. Perhaps a little of both.

 

[StarDust]

I'm a coward at life and a coward at dying. I don't know if it is self preservation or not wanting to hurt people I care about. Perhaps a little of both.

That is okay as well...you are NOT a coward just a person with a conscience and there is nothing wrong with that.