Why are you still alive?

[Trashcan]

Still need to get the thing that I'm doing it with. Hopefully within the next week. It's a long drive to get it. :/

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

It's simple... I'm still working on my perfected yew tincture and my other contingencies.

 

[nuclearsnake]

I don't know. Part of me still holds on. Death is big and scary. I still wish my past attempts had worked so I wouldn't have to do it now.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

because life is a bitch and doesn't know when to gtfo

 

[lifeofregret]

lmao, we have to evacuate because of the hurricane...now I'm forced to wait another 5-10 days...I just hope the house doesn't flood or break because we live next to the small sewer trail that surrounds all the houses on the front row of the suburbs. I hope none of my shit breaks too then that means I gotta wait for shipments again. Fuck me as long as the water doesn't go up by 2 feet...but I think it will looking at the Florida pictures from last year. Such unfortunate timing that I found this place a week ago and not two weeks ago. It's not even about the waiting period but it's my only location to catch the bus.

 

[Timeless]

Because my 1st attempt would have done the job but was found just in time...

So now I'm saving to do the same thing but then twice as much opiate painkillers.

Don't want to fail again and be in coma in hospital again and all that crap in the hospital :/
Only thing I learned is coma seems close to death since I saw my body from upstairs and doctors yelling we're losing him. And after I left my body or conscious just peace no worries or anything pure healing light.

So I guess I won't stay long here if all goes as planned, but you never know..

 

[MissLisa]

Other people, I want to do what is right but stuff changes constantly

 

[Hanger]

I´m alive cause I failed with hanging 12 years ago and hoped life would get better. But now I know I should have hanged myself again

 

[bigj75]

Other people, I want to do what is right but stuff changes constantly

the thing i learned is shit will never be right. Things change too much.

 

[bigj75]

I´m alive cause I failed with hanging 12 years ago and hoped life would get better. But now I know I should have hanged myself again

What you going to do now?

 

[Clover]

Why? Because someone found me and 'saved' me. :( I ask why all the time. I shouldn't be alive.

 

[Hunter]

Waiting on something practical to come through. Then I'm leaving.

 

[Deleted member 847]

Besides not being everyday home alone, I'm chained by my primitive instincts

 

[Tiburcio]

Besides not being everyday home alone, I'm chained by my primitive instincts

Useless instincs...

I'm attached to this world because my survival instinct is HUGE. Alcohol, pills, meditation, anything works.

 

[throwaway123]

Useless instincs...

I'm attached to this world because my survival instinct is HUGE. Alcohol, pills, meditation, anything works.

meditation is bullshit

 

[Deleted member 847]

Useless instincs...

I'm attached to this world because my survival instinct is HUGE. Alcohol, pills, meditation, anything works.

When I set a day in which I know I'm supposed to hang myself, I start feeling immense anxiety the day before, and there's a voice in my mind that tries to talk me out of it. Do you experience the same thing?

 

[Deleted member 847]

meditation is bullshit

It's not the spooky cure for all diseases like new agers say, but it has beneficial effects on your mind. there's scientific evidence for it.

 

[Tiburcio]

When I set a day in which I know I'm supposed to hang myself, I start feeling immense anxiety the day before, and there's a voice in my mind that tries to talk me out of it. Do you experience the same thing?

I had a panic attack just looking at the rope.

meditation is bullshit

It is... When you want to leave so badly you try everything it's in your hand...

 

[throwaway123]

I had a panic attack just looking at the rope.


It is... When you want to leave so badly you try everything it's in your hand...

Same. Whenever I seriously think about jumping I get a panic attack. Sometimes I try going to the bridge but I never make it. Fear is too much

 

[Deleted member 847]

You guys really thought you could overcome your survival instinct by using mindfulness? hahaha. It's hard to do that even if you're dead drunk.

 

[Deleted member 847]

I think there is a 100% real way to overcome your survival instinct, because that's how "I did it". You need to fool your subconscious mind that what you're trying to do, won't lead to your death. When I played the choking game with my rope, the day before I wanted to hang myself, It lead to me actually hanging myself and possibly die if the support didn't break. How do you do that? By doing dangerous things for fun and hope to be lucky one day.