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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,089
Why are you still alive?

1) No peaceful and painless enough method to go through with it
2) Guilt towards loved ones/family and no desire to abandon them
3) Survival instinct blocking the process even if the method is ready
4) My situation isn't so bad, I'm waiting to see, I want to enjoy certain things
5) Fear of the unknown and of death if I die 6) Fear of failing and ending up severely disabled
7) already been there ans it leaves me with a horrible memory

8) Other reasons

You can choose several

This is in no way an incitement to suicide!!! I'm just asking
 
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Siamese Believe

Siamese Believe

Student
Dec 8, 2025
136
8) - Waiting until I get into an extremely emotional state that way SI can be overcome easily.
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,089
8) - Attendre d'être dans un état émotionnel extrêmement intense pour pouvoir surmonter facilement les idées suicidaires.
Thanks to have a better life or...ctb😢?
 
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Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
878
2) Guilt towards loved ones/family and no desire to abandon them

Even though my parents were so uncompassionate and never comforted me while I was extremely sad, I'm still alive because of them. But I can't take it for much longer. I'm gonna ctb in 2026 or 2027.
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,089
Me too 2
 
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kuroshimi

kuroshimi

If you're not remembered, then you never existed.
Dec 1, 2025
282
Uhh... mostly 2, but kind of 4. Still want to experience things and I still have some hope left. But depression is eating me alive.
 
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sevencolorfulmoths

sevencolorfulmoths

Member
Nov 5, 2025
14
2) & 4). other than that i'd be ready to go, i believe
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,089
Little 4.also...
 
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TwistedNightmares

TwistedNightmares

There is no hope
Nov 1, 2025
240
1), 3) (High survival instincts), 6) and 8) (My partner).
 
Last edited:
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lotus11

lotus11

Specialist
May 18, 2019
377
2) only here because i know it would destroy my mum, dad and brother...i actually don't have a great relationship with any if them and have lived out of the country for my own mental health for many years but it would still destroy them. Supposed "friends" and more distant family would be ok, its only those three close family that are preventing me from being able to kill myself
 
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M

merlinscries

Member
Nov 16, 2025
60
1, 2, 5, 8 (disabilities keep me from accessing tools I'd need)
 
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3FailedAttemptss

3FailedAttemptss

trans girl (`・ω・´)
Jan 22, 2025
234
8) Stuck in a psych ward— literally cannot CTB TwT
 
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Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒い薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,012
I'm waiting for a bad day or a planned day to do it.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,806
Because I exist in this horrific evil world where suicide is a crime where being able to cease existing painlessly is illegal with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I'd just never wish for the abomination of existence and I see it as something so terrible and deeply undesirable to be conscious in this existence with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

I always suffer so much from being enslaved in this existence that was so tragically imposed and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed at all causing all this endless harm and suffering as a result, to suffer in this existence is a punishment to me and as long as I exist I will only hope for the peace of non-existence where finally all is gone and forgotten, only non-existence is beautiful to me, I only envy those who are no longer burdened with the mistake of existence.
 
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Liebestod

Liebestod

I’ll be dead one day
Mar 15, 2025
669
8. I am a coward and as of right now I don't have the discipline to do it.
 
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waqs

waqs

/hikki/
Sep 9, 2025
58
4ish, im trying therapy soon so i kinda just wanna see how that turns out, maybe something in my life can change from it, idk
 
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inkmage333

inkmage333

dead girl walking
Feb 18, 2025
134
1, 3, and 6.
 
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T

TheUncommon

This person is not breathing.
May 19, 2021
203
Entirely six.
 
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OnceTheHappiestMan

OnceTheHappiestMan

Member
Dec 6, 2025
79
Mostly 2.
And depending on the day a bit of 4.

Also 8:

Boni
 
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SchizoPolyGymnast

SchizoPolyGymnast

Paragon
May 28, 2024
907
I'm definitely going to die sometime. No need to rush. Enjoy the ride if possible.
 
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Happy Cat

Happy Cat

Hopeless romantic
Dec 9, 2025
121
8) I don't have what I need and I don't know how I'm going to get it. I want to OD on a fent but like... How am I going to get that shipped to my house? Especially when I'm living with other people?? Not only that but I'll hate for the people I'm living with to find me dead after ODing on a very dangerous drug like a drug addict ugh.
 
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KattinKai!

KattinKai!

KrazyKat
Nov 9, 2025
96
Why are you still alive?

1) No peaceful and painless enough method to go through with it
2) Guilt towards loved ones/family and no desire to abandon them
3) Survival instinct blocking the process even if the method is ready
4) My situation isn't so bad, I'm waiting to see, I want to enjoy certain things
5) Fear of the unknown and of death if I die 6) Fear of failing and ending up severely disabled
7) already been there ans it leaves me with a horrible memory

8) Other reasons

You can choose several

This is in no way an incitement to suicide!!! I'm just asking
1 and 2
 
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suicidesergal

suicidesergal

A verifiable critter.
Dec 17, 2025
36
After 4 attempts, and 2 impossible survival, I've concluded I'm immortal. So why bother trying?
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,089
Je vais bientôt commencer une thérapie, donc je veux voir ce que ça donne. Peut-être que ça changera quelque chose dans ma vie, je ne sais pas trop.
Great good luck💙💙🫂💙
 
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lamy's sacred sleep

lamy's sacred sleep

Entertain My Faith
Nov 22, 2024
1,505
2) gonna stay for my friend
when they die, i die
 
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Paraskas

Paraskas

Member
Mar 12, 2025
9
Why are you still alive?

1) No peaceful and painless enough method to go through with it
2) Guilt towards loved ones/family and no desire to abandon them
3) Survival instinct blocking the process even if the method is ready
4) My situation isn't so bad, I'm waiting to see, I want to enjoy certain things
5) Fear of the unknown and of death if I die 6) Fear of failing and ending up severely disabled
7) already been there ans it leaves me with a horrible memory

8) Other reasons

You can choose several

This is in no way an incitement to suicide!!! I'm just asking
2, 4, 6, scared of burning in hell
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
1,792
Mostly 2: don't want to hurt family.

A bit of 1, hanging's scary. But if I were 100% serious I could just buy a gun. So it must be 3.

4 is fading. There's not much potential for enjoyment left when you're a 36yo manchild. Everything hurts. Everything reminds you of the life you didn't live.
 
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littlecutecorpse

littlecutecorpse

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ absolute girlfailure ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Nov 13, 2025
171
for me it's kinda a different case. wanted to drag my feet through the holiday season to give some part of my life one last go, but even that hasn't felt the same as all the others. not even my birthday (nor christmas, i'm sure). but well, my due date's coming up soon, so ctb'ing any earlier would be pointless anyways.
 
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Abandoned Phantom

Abandoned Phantom

Member
Oct 3, 2025
89
85% is number 2, but slightly different. I don't want to hurt them.
15% number 4
 
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failedatdying

failedatdying

New Member
Dec 8, 2025
3
need to solidify the plan for my method of suicide
 
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