Why are people so insensitive and uncaring?

[Marktheghost]

Someone contacted me on a dating site, just to ask if I had a picture. I said no. She blocked me.

So just because I haven't got a picture on my profile, not only am I deemed not worth being friends with, she intends to completely ignore me for the rest of my life and thinks I'm not even worth being remotely friendly to!

Is there not already enough suffering in the world without people that treat each other with such contempt?!

 

[rockstar]

People love to say the inner beauty matters but sadly no body cares, specially on dating platforms.

 

[Pluto]

Online dating is almost completely about looks. It exacerbates the natural problems we have as humans, where some people have so much attention that it causes them distress, while others have so little attention that it causes grief. The connections made often seem very disposable, which also exacerbates a major issue in contemporary 'short attention span' society.

By all means have a go at it, even get a professional photograph taken and what not. But alternatively it might be better to try and find meetup.com groups with similar interests or something.

 

[diyCTB]

I personally never consider responding to someone who does not have photo for 2 reasons. Engaging in conversation with someone I have never seen before who doesn't bother to have a photo is uncomfortable. There's no excuse to not have one unless someone has something to hide. You don't know what kind of person is on the other end.

The other reason is about appearance as it can tell me more about looks but also about being comfortable connecting with that person. I don't want to make a girl feel uncomfortable if she's "not my type" after seeing her photo and would rather not engage in conversation in the first place.

 

[gus.nixon]

Not having a photo might cause someone to wonder why you don't in the first place. On a site that's specifically for dating, I can understand how having a photograph would be something that others would expect you to provide. Even in real life encounters, someone's appearance is one of the first things we notice.

 

[lex]

On dating apps it's all about looks. No one ever just reads profiles. Sorry to say that

 

[chocolatebar]

There's no excuse to not have one unless someone has something to hide.

I can't stand looking at my image and |I suffer for minutes or hours when it happens. How could I have a photo without suffering from it?

 

[diyCTB]

@stalewater Why you can't stand looking at your image?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Dating website scare me more than meeting people in real life. I'd rather be judged on the spot than turn out to be a disappointment.

 

[Midgardsorm]

So ... People are insensitive in general. They are insensitive on the streets, on the market, they are insensitive even on the hospital

But dating websites? They're almost built for people to be not only insensitive, but mercenaries. Gold Diggers, Perverts, Booty Callers.
There are no room for feelings, only self-interest.

I stopped using dating websites, not only because of my looks, but because of the people I would find there. It's disgusting.

 

[chocolatebar]

@stalewater Why you can't stand looking at your image?

I don't really know, but I don't recognise myself. Realising that this face I see is me, it's painful. It's not about looks, but something else. I told it to therapists, but nobody could help

 

[diyCTB]

@Midgardsorm It's a sick and toxic society. It's a trap. It used to be thought that you have greater chance of finding your significant other. Reverse that today.

@stalewater What are you hoping to get out of online dating provided how you perceive yourself and feel about yourself? I would not be looking for online dating in the first place knowing it could make my situation worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see it as human nature for people to be uncaring and insensitive. People are naturally selfish, everything we do is to benefit ourselves someway. I tend to keep my distance from others as much as I possibly can, as they easily can disappoint you and let you down. As others have said above, many people value looks more than personality.

 

[deflationary]

Being insensitive is helpful in coping with life. Once you start actually caring about things, you're just asking for trouble since there's so much awful shit in the world. So it makes sense for people to be insensitive. It's a coping mechanism.