Deleted member 15256
Member
- Feb 18, 2020
- 55
My son. And I am ruining his future.
He will be better without me
He will be better without me
I liked playing musical instruments but after years of trying I realized I don't have any talent for this.It's nice I'm not alone in this, I do it too. I read r/suicidebereavement and vent to friends if I need to so I can keep myself from doing anything rash, I'll utterly crush my parents and my little sister and I don't have the mental fortitude fully accept that or in the afterlife (if I can feel guilty in the afterlife, I'm sure to feel guilty even though I'll watch over my family 24/7, I'll definitely be those souls have hover over the family instead of moving on). My family and little sister are everything to me so I prefer to take my method immediately if there were a freak accident where I'm the only one left.
OP, I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm amazed you're 50 because I don't think I'm strong enough to live to that age. Do you have any hobbies that keep you busy?
Oh dear, you too! It needs a lot of faith I think to push past thisTechnically, I'm in the midst of attempting "recovery", so I force myself to muscle through everyday to the best of my capabilities. I still yearn to die just as much, if not more, than I did prior to shifting from limbo into recovery. So, I don't know lately
than stay with him and bring him some happiness! me,i am all alone my wife died and thats why i am here.I really feel you, bro.
My dad is everything to me!
SAMI, Are you sure? I haven't seen my dad in 30 year's and l really miss him, knowing l'll never see him again and tell him all the things l want to say to him is tearing me up inside, there's a real painful ache in my heart and there's nothing I can do about it!!! I'd give the last drop of blood in my body and the rest of my existence bar 24-hours just to spend one day with him to try and rebuild the bridges l burned down 3 decades ago!My son. And I am ruining his future.
He will be better without me
You're probably right.SAMI, Are you sure? I haven't seen my dad in 30 year's and l really miss him, knowing l'll never see him again and tell him all the things l want to say to him is tearing me up inside, there's a real painful ache in my heart and there's nothing I can do about it!!! I'd give the last drop of blood in my body and the rest of my existence bar 24-hours just to spend one day with him to try and rebuild the bridges l burned down 3 decades ago!
Oh dear, you too! It needs a lot of faith I think to push past this
I'm so sorry to hear this, I don't know what to say. As far as I'm concerned, I live for my partner. He's an amazing, understanding person whom I love with everything I have. Thing is, I'm a pretty shitty person. I deal with a lot of mental illness that probably make life very difficult for him. I feel like he deserves better.I am 50. Never had job career. I have no family. Never had a girlfriend. I am on my own. Unemployed at the moment . No education. Only high school. I don't think it makes sense to continue living. Can you tell me guys what you live for ?