Venting at what point do i just give up on the idea of being happy

[blue-moon-miki]

i'm so sick of everything. everytime i think it's getting better i just get knocked down again and it's always worse and it's always harder. my life is good and i shouldn't even be complaining. i have a good life, i have friends, a girlfriend.. why am i complaining? why do i feel like this? i have everything and i'm still not happy. i still want to die. at what point do i just give up, because if this isn't making me happy then idk what can. i will always be depressed for the rest of my life, if i live to 100 i'll be depressed every second of the way. it never gets "better". that's such a lie. i always fall for it anyway. i always think i'm better. i never am. i never will be.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

It's all up to you, mate. personally? I'll never give up hope on trying to feel for myself again until there's a shotgun in my mouth. I'm multitasking- trying to feel again and working to accepting death and ctb. you have every right to want to give up hope, mate. you do. it's all up to you when you start buying your materials though. love and peace, mate

 

[TAW122]

I kinda relate to you, though on different things and while our lives are unique to us and different from each other... I would say that on the oustide, from the outsider observer, people who see me IRL see me as just an average person living an average life (especially if they don't know me..). But internally, philosophically, and even behind closed doors, I'm a failure of an adult by many metrics of society (dependent on parents, living under their roof, barely making enough money to be on my own, and failing in many aspects that an average adult has; no SO, no social life, not much achievements I could call my own, etc., even my own faculties both mentally and physically are slowly starting to wane...).

I have since given up on being 'happy' but just enough to not suffer as much and when my time is right and such, I will just do the deed (CTB) and end my own suffering. Anyways, I hope you find peace in whatever you choose to do.