Who is 30s and older and wants to ctb?

[divinemistress36]

Who is in there 30s or older and wants to ctb? It's like once you hit your 30s you really realize nothing is going to get better..

 

[Slow_Farewell]

40. LOL. but wanted to CTB in my 30's, just thought (stupidly) that things would be different. If I could go back, i'd work harder to ignore how enticing hope is and just focused on my plan back then to CTB.
And just a clarification, I dunno, maybe it doens't apply to you..
It's possible that it's not that things wont get better, it's even if they do, it's only temporary.

 

[annointed_towers]

Just turned 35 here

 

[piryohae3]

I'll be 37 soon and I'm not excited for the future. There is too much corruption, living is too expensive, most of our time is controlled by work, people are increasingly isolated, selfish, and unempathetic. Climate change is going to make things worse in the following decades. The future is bleak and I don't want to live through it.

 

[divinemistress36]

It's funny how even as you get older people still stay life will get better

 

[Unattainable666]

Old fart and definitely ready to leave this shit show

It's funny how even as you get older people still stay life will get better

I won't tell you that

 

[divinemistress36]

Old fart and definitely ready to leave this shit show

I won't tell you that

Thank God! Haha

 

[Deadfrogwalking]

58 here,
Felt suicidal for the first time as a teenager, told myself it will pass, things will get better, made it through the Navy and got married, life was bearable with K.
26 years together till she passed.
Started making a plan to CTB 3 years ago, just efforting finding the correct partner, I do not want to die alone.
I feel kinda stupid for sticking it out so long, always telling myself "things will get better" the world is definitely not going to get better, in fact it gets worse everyday.
No point in living in this festering shithole any longer where so many suffer at the hands of just a few and basic human compassion, understanding and love no longer exist.
I don't feel like I failed, I damn sure stuck out the hard times to date and tried my best to do good things.
It is even more disheartening to see all the younger folk here on site who have already given up at the 18-21 year old mark,
It took the world 55 years to finally burn me to the ground and start wishing/planning for death.
Now it takes less than the time to reach adulthood to turn some from believing life is an adventure worth having and actively seeking the exit from it, only death can bring.
Seems in the end, the only things humans are truly capable of is destroying the essence of each other and the planet we all have to live on.
I choose to no longer participate in these endeavors.

 

[UglyInk]

I'm in my earily 30s. In my 20s, I had a few good years, few bad years, now I have to urge to die every day. It doesn't get better.

 

[uzuf86]

I am in my late 30s, and I do not see my life continue to happen and reach old age like those people living in 70's. For some reason I cannot relate to them at all; My life probably needs to end here and now.

 

[Celerity]

30 and will be 31 in a couple of months. I keep praying I will die in my sleep. Had a few close calls over the years where I could have died, but I'm still here, unfortunately. I should have killed myself years ago when I wanted to die the most. Now I'm just stuck in this boring, gray hell struggling against my cowardice to live and my cowardice to die.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

I'm 45. I've attempted four times in my life. I'm not actively suicidal atm, but am actively planning methods. I'm pretty sure I'll CTB in the end and I want to do so with an even head and thoroughly plan.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

246 days left til I turn 40. I refuse. I absolutely refuse to live through another decade.

 

[divinemistress36]

246 days left til I turn 40. I refuse. I absolutely refuse to live through another decade.

I'm 36 I plan on checking out by 40 too

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Present.

 

[Yaffle]

50's

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

36 and things are only getting worse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- 44 here. I've had ideation since I was 10 though- to varying intensities. Things are actually comparitively better for me now than they have been in the past but, it's so precarious and has every likelihood of only getting worse.

 

[rozeske]

Me...31 here. Been fighting until now and I guess i have just gotten tired. It's my time to rest now

 

[Tears in Rain]

Guilty. 40s, nope, doesn't get better.

 

[never mind me]

I'm in my 30s. Although I was first suicidal during my teens, I was relatively happy during my 20s. I guess it helped that I could study something that really interested me, found my long-term boy-friend, took lots of drugs and travelled a fair bit. Apparently that was enough distraction to forget about suicidal thoughts. Now in my 30s I'm feeling suicidal again. However, it is different from what it was when I was a teen. Back then I wanted to kill myself, because I couldn't stand how painful life is, now I think about suicide, because I think that life is mundane and doesn't hold enough interesting things for the trouble it can often be.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I'm 30 and want to ctb

 

[TapeMachine]

39th birthday is in 6 days.

I was not planning on living to see my 39th bday...but here I am, as alive as ever.

 

[stuckinthemud]

Who is in their 30s or older and wants to ctb? It's like once you hit your 30s you really realize nothing is going to get better..

Yeah I'm 35. Given up trying to "get better" now. I did love life until my brain was damaged by medication, then Covid and abuse and severe trauma from my ex.
Don't see the point in continuous suffering, ageing and degenerating.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If I had made "better" decisions when I was in my 30's I would not have to think about CTB now.
I don't want to die but circumstances may require CTB if my situation gets worse and doesn't improve.

Although my situation isn't good I'm not very suicidal atm but situations and circumstances can change.

 

[piddincir]

36 here , lost my wife 3 months ago to suicide , she was 37.

She had struggled with it her whole life until she met me but had a really tough year last year that broke her down. At least I know I gave her the best 10 years of her life (and her me) and died knowing true love and happiness

I thought we would grow old together but I'm not living past this year, fuck that

 

[soonatpeace777888]

32. Fucking sick of life. Everything is boring as fuck and then you have to work. For what?

 

[ThymeToLeave]

40, and I've seen enough to know that it's not going to get better for me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'll be 30 in about 35 days and I highly doubt that anything meaningful will happen in that amount of time to make me never want to CTB again so put me in this club too.

I'm so confident that I'll still want to die after I'm 30 that I don't even care that I'm tempting fate to try to prove me wrong.