Discussion Who do you live for?

[FuneralCry]

I exist as I was forced into this torturous, cruel existence where I'm denied the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer ever again, I just see so much cruelty in how this existence that just causes problems there were never a need for and suffering all for the sake of it was even imposed at all yet I cannot just have the option to cease existing in peace to escape from this existence I always saw as a terrible, tragic mistake. For me non-existence truly is all that's desirable and is all I see as positive, I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence all for the sake of it just to be tormented by old age, it's horrific to me how a human can suffer so long, I personally just want to be unconscious of this existence, I want to never wake ever again.

 

[sximii]

My cats. I love them in a way words can't describe. There are times when I think about living just for them

 

[InTheStars]

Same here. But I will ctb for sure. My only concern is that the money I leave behind should be enough to wipe out the family debts and help her live a normal life for a few more years. I'm more useful dead than alive

What if her life won't be normal, she might be sad and crying every day

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I only live cause I've been brainwashed to waste my time on ridiculous addictions ( youtube , TV, News , social media etc) . These addictions take all my time I could be using to get my suicide plan decided and ready to go . Time I could also use to change my mindset so I will be able to take the risk of failing, to overcome fear of failing, si etc . And get the means and ability for my suicide and kill these monstrous cells they call a human body they imprisoned me in

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

At this point, I don't think anybody really.

 

[milkteacrown]

I have similar feelings. I can have a connection if the other person is in the here and now. But as soon as they leave, the connection is gone.

To help overcome this, I've tried to make a conscious effort to stay connected to some people. It does help some, but requires a lot of effort.

I'm glad you've found some tricks to help you stay connected to people in the present moment. I hope I can feel that tiny fragment of attachment again someday so I can maintain it as best as I can.

 

[manicstreetbeeper]

i don't have the strength to live for anyone anymore. there is someone i hope to watch over if i die though.

 

[annasplight]

My boyfriend and my siblings. My boyfriend is someone who finds it extremely hard to connect with others, and I have for once made him feel safe in his life. He sees me as the only person who truly accepts him, and I cannot fucking fathom what would happen to him if I were gone.

 

[RamenNoodles]

I feel the same way, I don't know what I live for. I have lived for 30 years. I have achieved moderate success in my life. I have made average money, but I never had the opportunity to save much due to unforeseen I'm unavoidable expenses. Not that I was earning a lot before.
I am ostracized by society, I feel ashamed of my body. I live a life devoid of everything.

Most of all, I had let people treat me poorly. I'll never forgive myself for that.

 

[carnival]

Both my parents. I just made a post talking about that a little, I don't want to imagine how they would feel

 

[outrider567]

Nobody

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Parents + partner.

I'm waiting for my parents to die (10-15+ years as they're not that old but neither of them are terribly healthy) and I'm assuming that my relationship will have failed by then. IDK what I'll do if I'm still with my partner but still suicidal at that point, especially since we'd probably be married by then. The rational thing to do would probably be to break up now to limit the suffering I'd inflict on her, but I could never do that.

Sadly my sister would still be alive to suffer if I did it at that point, but sorry, I cannot wait any more than that, so she'll just have to cope, as selfish as that is to say. It's not fair to expect me to stay alive for a whole lifetime if I'm unhappy after trying my best for an extra 10-15 years, by which point I'll be middle-aged.

 

[Kyotospade]

My fiance

 

[hu3]

My lover, the things she'll go through once I'm dead.. I'm not sure if I can do that to her.

 

[slightoverlooked]

mom. she threatened to khs as well so idk what to do. im kinda stuck in this weird situation now

 

[ikigaimg]

I live for my mom. It was always only me and her.

 

[WanderingTiger]

I am still alive for my family, my dog, and my animals. I also think about helping people with my future profession in healthcare, wanting to bring peace and relief to the suffering of those who are neglected and forgotten, such as terminal cancer patients and those with psychiatric conditions. I don't know how much longer I can endure; certainly, losing these things that I love so much would make me not want to live anymore, as my emptiness would be even greater. I have never shared this with anyone close to me, and I don't even know how to express it because I am afraid of being hospitalised.

 

[MsHelena]

My cat. He passed away last August at the age of 19.

He was my reason and I miss him so, so much.

 

[alivebutnotliving]

my boyfriend

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I live for my family, but not for long.

 

[Reflection]

I atleast don't want my parents or siblings walking in on me while hanging or something. The loss is enough I don't want to inflict any further trauma on them

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

At the moment I'd probably answer my family since I've been living with them after my past attempts failed lol. I'd prolly have caught my bus if I wasn't living with them.