Discussion Which things are the reason for you to want ctb? (including illnesses)

[ThatOneGuy]

Social isolation, inability to focus. M pretty sure I'm objectively at the peak of my life otherwise and I hate it

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Major Depression, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), OCD, Anxiety.

To be honest, I don't have a bad life. I've had some bad things happen, yes, like being very forcibly raped. I have beautiful children, a good family, I'm an attractive person, a job, a house, car, in college for what I love with jobs always available.
Yet I've always had this feeling, a void in my chest that cannot be filled no matter what I do, what I buy. I've never felt like I belonged on this earth, and I've decided not everyone does. I don't feel like other people, I can laugh in a moment but happiness ends right after that moment is over then I'm back to this empty feeling. I'm a puzzle piece in the wrong box. The urge to CTB only gets stronger and stronger as I get older. I'm out of place here, I need to go.

 

[Lethe]

Primarily gender dysphoria and clinical depression resulting from that. Though even if I could get those under control, I'm still autistic/schizoid and likely would never be able to hold down a job (not that I care to participate in the disgusting society).

 

[SheJumped]

I've had a mask on for over 17 years now, I'm shattered inside. I've spent years pretending to be happy or show emotion in social situations.
Just want some rest now :)

 

[Bct]

Depression, loneliness, anxieties, feeling hopeless about my future, also I don't think my bad personalities can be cured

 

[mote]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything.
I'm just poor. So among billions, I'm shit that only deserves to be controlled, exploited, and barely survive at best. I'm just an expendable number. A commodity- and that kills me. I'm afraid of the future. Mine and the world as a whole.
I just want to cut my own suffering short.
I'm tired of having a body- the auxiliary to experience pain and emotion. The pleasure will never be worth the struggle. I'd rather feel nothing, be nothing, because my existence means next to nothing at base to this world.

 

[_Minsk]

I'm tired of having a body- the auxiliary to experience pain and emotion. The pleasure will never be worth the struggle. I'd rather feel nothing, be nothing, because my existence means next to nothing at base to this world.

well said, i fully agree with what you wrote.

 

[Sdj]

I am getting old at a young age:

tinnitus
hyperacusis
eye floaters
back problems

All these combined + bad depression and bad anxiety and OCD tendencies all make for a horrific cocktail that has made me feel 90 years old and at the end of my rope (I'm in my early 30s)

Identical to me. Devastating tinnitus, eye floaters, visual snow, double vision, ghosting... all started at 30. Am 33 now an have the SN regimen ready, just preparing to say my goodbyes to my niece who I have been staying alive for.

 

[Nohopeinhell]

Chronic debilitating pain. 24/7 Every single day.

 

[mold]

i have a few mental illnesses that often spark others, it's the full package baby!

 

[nonamegirl]

Identical to me. Devastating tinnitus, eye floaters, visual snow, double vision, ghosting... all started at 30. Am 33 now an have the SN regimen ready, just preparing to say my goodbyes to my niece who I have been staying alive for.

:( It really is devastating.

I was actually beginning to consider SN, but I fear that it will make tinnitus much worse, if the method fails, because I bailed out due to SI........and then ending in a worse state, with permently worsened tinnitus :(

 

[kyle]

I was diagnosed with Borderline at the age of 19. Not a fan of the multiple personalities. I'm 26 now.

 

[Arrow]

depression, i imagine. unhappiness.

 

[Cutepoison]

Depression. General boredom and lack of interest for life.
The way I see it, though, is that depression is like any other illness - i.e., it kills (yes, ok, maybe by suicide but still). I really wish it was legal and accessible to have assisted suicide. Hate the fact that therapists and doctors just say "it'll get better". The fuck, it doesn't, it gets worse. Sleepless nights, weight gain, restlessness... It's not life, it's misery.

 

[TheRaul95]

Depersonalization and chronic chest pain, worse then hell...