HowToCTB
Member
- Jul 17, 2024
- 13
Hi everyone, I am a male of 22 from South Europe.
I have been browsing this website for about a week now, but I felt the impulse of signing up just yesterday (I was worried about the IP thing, as I don't want anyone to prevent me from CTB in case I decided to do it).
I have been exploring various resources. Not only this website and other posts, but also articles of people died accidentally and stuff, and I have made a list of potential methods for myself.
I have learnt that alcohol and water don't mix up well. Apparently, even taking a (iced) bath in my bathtub could kill me, as the being drunk would dilate veins and would make me feel warm even if I am getting into hypothermia.
The opposite is valid (hot bath). I have read it would make me relax so much that my blood pressure would decrease excessively, to the point of making me faint, and drown.
I then read about caffeine. I have a kilo of 99.7% pure caffeine at my disposal. I ask you whether this method would make me suffer too much or not. I read that caffeine overdose can make the heart pump so quickly that, at some point, instead of pumping, it just shivers, so I guess in that case I would faint and my heart would stop moving at all.
I also tried to find N. In particular, I actually have found it in an online vet store, but it requires a professional account, with ID verification. Online, I am afraid of being scammed. Apparently, there are a series of rules to follow here. Don't post pictures of packages and don't ask for sources if your account is too young. While it makes sense, it increases my willing to end it, as even something as simple as getting a source requires investment, when I just want to end it...
So I basically stopped looking for it, unless anyone of you saved me without requiring me to go to Mexico (which I can't do).
I learnt here about SN. It was pretty confusing at first to understand what these letters meant, but I eventually got it. I also have found the Suicide resource compilation, which helped me, too.
The only thing that scares me about SN is the colour change of my body. I don't know. Is it a good method? Is it reliable? I saw that I can buy 100 grams online for about 30 euros. Purity should be >98%. I also read about suicides in Spain, Italy, and other countries, using this method. I am afraid of it not working.
I would also contemplate hanging, but I don't have much skill.
What are your thoughts? What's the most "sure" one, apart from N, unless someone had a reliable source which I doubt?
In an attempt to protect myself from any law issue in this matter, I'll say that this is for myself only and I do not intend to encourage this kind of behaviour.
I have been browsing this website for about a week now, but I felt the impulse of signing up just yesterday (I was worried about the IP thing, as I don't want anyone to prevent me from CTB in case I decided to do it).
I have been exploring various resources. Not only this website and other posts, but also articles of people died accidentally and stuff, and I have made a list of potential methods for myself.
I have learnt that alcohol and water don't mix up well. Apparently, even taking a (iced) bath in my bathtub could kill me, as the being drunk would dilate veins and would make me feel warm even if I am getting into hypothermia.
The opposite is valid (hot bath). I have read it would make me relax so much that my blood pressure would decrease excessively, to the point of making me faint, and drown.
I then read about caffeine. I have a kilo of 99.7% pure caffeine at my disposal. I ask you whether this method would make me suffer too much or not. I read that caffeine overdose can make the heart pump so quickly that, at some point, instead of pumping, it just shivers, so I guess in that case I would faint and my heart would stop moving at all.
I also tried to find N. In particular, I actually have found it in an online vet store, but it requires a professional account, with ID verification. Online, I am afraid of being scammed. Apparently, there are a series of rules to follow here. Don't post pictures of packages and don't ask for sources if your account is too young. While it makes sense, it increases my willing to end it, as even something as simple as getting a source requires investment, when I just want to end it...
So I basically stopped looking for it, unless anyone of you saved me without requiring me to go to Mexico (which I can't do).
I learnt here about SN. It was pretty confusing at first to understand what these letters meant, but I eventually got it. I also have found the Suicide resource compilation, which helped me, too.
The only thing that scares me about SN is the colour change of my body. I don't know. Is it a good method? Is it reliable? I saw that I can buy 100 grams online for about 30 euros. Purity should be >98%. I also read about suicides in Spain, Italy, and other countries, using this method. I am afraid of it not working.
I would also contemplate hanging, but I don't have much skill.
What are your thoughts? What's the most "sure" one, apart from N, unless someone had a reliable source which I doubt?
In an attempt to protect myself from any law issue in this matter, I'll say that this is for myself only and I do not intend to encourage this kind of behaviour.
