Discussion What's your reason for not trying to recover?

[swankysoup]

To recover means "to regain something that was lost" more or less. So you cannot recover something you never had, and when it comes to complex trauma, i have never come across someone that managed to truly recover from their losses. And like others pointed out, drugging yourself numb is not recovery. I don't have the worst life story by any means, but i know what's real and what's cope. What do i have left to try? Spend my least bits of energy working/studying just to stay afloat? I can barely do the bare minimum.

Mentally i'm too broken to build relationships, and i need relationships to heal. There is a common misconception that you can heal from trauma alone, but that's wrong. Yes you can do some things, but in the end trauma is relational, therefore it requires relationships to heal. So it's pretty simple. I guess i'll just wait until the last straw snaps and i make a decision to cbt.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Because it's never been obvious to me why a good life is worth striving for.

 

[outrider567]

I don't know if this question has been asked already, I looked but can't seem to find any threads so I decided I'd ask.
Mine is that I've tried to in the past, A LOT of times and it's basically a vicious circle and I always fall back, sometimes worse than before and I know it's part of the journey but I don't want to deal with that. I've dealt with enough and I know I'll come back to suicide eventually again. Once the idea got in my brain it never really left. I often think about what I would say if someone asked me that and ;
I believe it's possible for me to feel fine again, very happy even, but when I think of the long run I know it's not always gonna be the case and I don't want to suffer anymore, I know that if I keep on living I will still have ups but the downs will still be there, and will still be excruciatingly painful. Not to mention the times when I was actually trying to get help but couldn't manage because the doctors here suck. They never helped one bit. Neither did the medication. I don't want to contribute to this society anymore and to be honest I'm not sure I can even if I wanted to. I've gotten to a point of being afraid of happiness and not allowing myself to be too happy because the pain of feeling sad again is so terrible.
I can name many more reasons as to why I completely "gave up" but that would take me a while lol
What are your reasons? Do you see yourslef possibly getting better? If so, do you know what would have to happen for it to be the case?

How can one get better when their lifelong companion suddenly dies? Its almost impossible

 

[TheHolySword]

Simply, there's just no reason to anymore

 

[been__ready]

It's the endless cycle of misery, wanting to get better, making changes in an effort to get better, starting to feel better, and hoping that this time around it will finally last, only to inevitably fall back into the same pit you were in to begin with and be forced to repeat the same process over and over again with no end in sight.
Medication, exercise, therapy, each time around trying even harder to get better than you did the time before thinking that if you just try hard enough, if you just put in enough effort this time, you'll finally feel better for good. Only for it to not only not pay off, but for it to backfire leaving you feeling worse than ever before.
An endless hamster wheel, with the false promise that things "will get better" as a carrot on a stick so you keep running and holding onto hope through sheer force of will as you become increasingly exhausted. There's only so long you can keep running for. There's only so much hope you can fuel yourself with.
Meanwhile the world around you continues to insist that you can feel better if you just make an effort but they don't understand that you've already been making an effort for as long as you can remember and you're so tired. So you think you must be the problem, your effort still isn't quite good enough. So you start the cycle again, because you know it's either that or nothing.
in the end there is no getting better for me there's only one way out of all this mess!

Very well said..

It's so easy for people to say "it will get better" "people get through this" "there is hope" when they have no idea what struggling through each day feels like… especially if you have suffered complex abandonment/trauma and have resulting mental/physical health issues.. even worse - if it runs in the family…