Venting Whats the point? Exactly none

[NanaHachi]

Hey guys i need to vent and it's kinda rough. Going through my life it's been nothing but a rollercoaster. Going from being the ugliest in school and bullied to being attractive and taken advantage of as an adult until I realised. Then the whole ordeal of dealing with my Arab family kicking me out and practically disowning me because I don't believe Allah exists ever since I was 9 and couldn't even try to force myself. to the point of me having 0 family and being an orphan basically almost being homeless but saving myself with a job i got after i wasnt allowed to ever work by my parenrs bcs im a woman. I managed to get a job with no experience at 18. Getting harassed daily on the streets worried ill literally get kidnapped someday, studying to be a nurse realising. What the fuck is the end goal. Nothing works out

No matter how pretty i am how awesome I am I keep seeing how dogshit people are and all the cheating all the moments i get treated and humiliated in front of people in general especially in health care or whenever I work as a cashier at my side jobs.

Even art is useless. I finished my useless art degree and then went to nursing. At first art was cool to get into around 2000 to 2016 and then it became so easy to make art (im being honest here as a professional animator that hates her degree) to the point of me just stopping and never even mentioning It again.

All in all I'm convinced nothing is enough to make me feel better. Because humans in general are garbage. Including me. I keep overly taking care of everyone Inc partners and they treat me like an asswipe. Probably bcs in reality what I offer is useless in reality. When everyone is horrible to you. That means you're the problem.

Even this post is useless. Anyways I hope to be able to maybe talk to people who achieved things but still feel like there's no point

Edit: almost killed myself successfully after my dad almost killed me and I wanted to finish the job, maybe that's the cherry on top. But I haven't seen them or heard from them for like 3 years now. I don't even think k about parents anymore

What's life? A bowl of shit to be left rotting and leave behind.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Hey guys i need to vent and it's kinda rough. Going through my life it's been nothing but a rollercoaster. Going from being the ugliest in school and bullied to being attractive and taken advantage of as an adult until I realised. Then the whole ordeal of dealing with my Arab family kicking me out and practically disowning me because I don't believe Allah exists ever since I was 9 and couldn't even try to force myself. to the point of me having 0 family and being an orphan basically almost being homeless but saving myself with a job i got after i wasnt allowed to ever work by my parenrs bcs im a woman. I managed to get a job with no experience at 18. Getting harassed daily on the streets worried ill literally get kidnapped someday, studying to be a nurse realising. What the fuck is the end goal. Nothing works out

No matter how pretty i am how awesome I am I keep seeing how dogshit people are and all the cheating all the moments i get treated and humiliated in front of people in general especially in health care or whenever I work as a cashier at my side jobs.

Even art is useless. I finished my useless art degree and then went to nursing. At first art was cool to get into around 2000 to 2016 and then it became so easy to make art (im being honest here as a professional animator that hates her degree) to the point of me just stopping and never even mentioning It again.

All in all I'm convinced nothing is enough to make me feel better. Because humans in general are garbage. Including me. I keep overly taking care of everyone Inc partners and they treat me like an asswipe. Probably bcs in reality what I offer is useless in reality. When everyone is horrible to you. That means you're the problem.

Even this post is useless. Anyways I hope to be able to maybe talk to people who achieved things but still feel like there's no point

Edit: almost killed myself successfully after my dad almost killed me and I wanted to finish the job, maybe that's the cherry on top. But I haven't seen them or heard from them for like 3 years now. I don't even think k about parents anymore

What's life? A bowl of shit to be left rotting and leave behind.

You say everyone is horrible to you, and this means that your the problem.
Really ?
The vast majority of people are horrible to me too, but that's because most people in this shitshow world are stupid, self-absorbed, narcissistic assholes.
So, I doubt that you are the problem.
And yes, we are all wage-slaves working in meaningless jobs, with toxic people. It is all an excercise in futility, like hamsters on a wheel, going round and round.
Welcome to sasu.
I think you'll like it here.

 

[NanaHachi]

You say everyone is horrible to you, and this means that your the problem.
Really ?
The vast majority of people are horrible to me too, but that's because most people in this shitshow world are stupid, self-absorbed, narcissistic assholes.
So, I doubt that you are the problem.
And yes, we are all wage-slaves working in meaningless jobs, with toxic people. It is all an excercise in futility, like hamsters on a wheel, going round and round.
Welcome to sasu.
I think you'll like it here.

What adds to my fire is truly the fact that I wear big loose hawaiian blouses and a face mask whenever i leave work or home because a woman is regarded as just fuckmeat so I literally can't phantom most people seeing me as a person.

Let alone wanting to exist.

I heard about this forum from a video. It's crazy how those videos claim they "don't want anyone to find this website because it'll only harm them" but it took me 1 Google search of 2 words even tho that video hid the name. Just had to go "suicide forum". I've been suicidal for many years and somehow never found a place like this bcs I didn't think it would exist. They're doing free promo for lost folk under disguise of being good. But what's so bad about the people here just genuinely talking about real issues.

I've been to 2 psychiatrists and therapisys and it only cost me money and did exactly- nothing. Still paying the 780 euros that's left from the 3500.

Thanks for welcoming me

 

[numbed one]

I didnt réad all thé post i'm sorry but here your in safe hands .
Thats makes me réalisé how good people are meant to die liké Lil peep / nirvana .. etc..

 

[Aisley]

'The point' is a subjective thing. Sometimes, the point is the fight. And you've put in. Your life is beautiful, from over here. The bigotry and dark ages you've escaped, and making your own way, that's the good shit. Often, it's just enough to get through one shitty fucking day. I have nothing but love for every woman out there, under a pile of shit, scrambling to get out from under it, and the ones who do get out. You've already won. You know how many are out there, still being terorized by a horrible family? Not knowing they can escape? Like, psychologically chained to these people? And there's no telling them who the bad guys are, they can't hear it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so horrible how humans create so much suffering, this world certainly is so repulsive to me, it disgusts me how there is so much unnecessary pain and torment, there could certainly never be a point to any of this, existence is just a futile struggle. But anyway I wish you the best.