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Marz

Marz

À PEU PRÈS
Aug 3, 2018
170
just curious about it.
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
"You're an outcast."

It made sense when I heard it despite never seeing myself in that way before.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
Wow. I was thinking about the exact same question a couple hours ago.

So many cruel things said to me over the years...

One was "at least I don't have to look at her face" (I was 12, not going into details).

Another "you are a creep" (ex shrink). Also said he would have fucked me if I looked like Sophia Vergara. That didn't hurt so much because who the hell can compete with her, but the whole therapy hurt and that was the bitter end to a sad saga.

Lots more but I'm too tired right now.

Kudos for starting this thread.
 
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6

6477244ts5

Student
Jun 13, 2018
193
That I am to blame for all the bad shit people did to me...bad surgery disabling me...abandonment by people I trusted. Victim blaming is the last refuge of the asshole. Everyone that knows me but ONE true friend who is a truly decent person with empathy and reasonable personality has rewritten history and convinced themselves its somehow my fault a shitty, greedy surgeon fucked me up and that every system and other person I relied on failed me. There is no convincing them. So fuck em all...no guilt or worry from me at all how my death will affect them. Hope it eats them alive if nothing else.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"
 
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skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

Student
Apr 10, 2018
136
"I don't deserve the problems you're giving me," said by my dad.
This was after my little sister woke up feeling depressed, and he hit her for not wanting to go to school. He then proceeded to complain about it to me, portray himself as the victim, and explain why all my siblings and I are ungrateful.

Tbh the most hurtful things that have been said to me have been from my dad. There's more but this was the first thing that came to mind.
 
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6

6477244ts5

Student
Jun 13, 2018
193
"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"

Is this a joke or did you really get caught in a sting trying to hook up with a minor?
 
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Laggy

Laggy

Member
Jul 20, 2018
45
That my failures (there's a lot of them) are entirely my own fault. It hurts because it's true.
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
575
Well, this is just a portion of why I am at this point. Words are words to me. I've been immune to their jests.
But somehow, it is the cruellest and most hideous term they have come to use against me.
They called me HUMAN.
It somehow added an iota of weight to the fact that I am going to attempt suicide this 8th of August because I've never hated myself more than when they used it against me. It's as if I was branded as an expired lunatic. Damn it. I couldn't even imagine how they came to that terminology.
 
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H

hayley keeth

ded
Aug 5, 2018
1
when my grandma tells me to just go ahead and kill myself. or makes my little cousin stay away from me, because ima mess
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
when my grandma tells me to just go ahead and kill myself. or makes my little cousin stay away from me, because ima mess
Whenever I tell my mom I'm going to kill myself she says "just don't do it in my house" like all mad and mean... So I was thinking about slitting my throat from ear to ear on her bed.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
My mother called me a stinky whore in Hungarian wen I was like 9 or 10. It's like she made it happen lol! She was evil
 
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6

6477244ts5

Student
Jun 13, 2018
193
Whenever I tell my mom I'm going to kill myself she says "just don't do it in my house" like all mad and mean... So I was thinking about slitting my throat from ear to ear on her bed.

I've heard that as well from more than one family member. Also "if you believed in God you wouldn't have so much trouble"...from a woman who is as physically sick as I am and worse off mentally, and praises Jesus daily. Parents can really suck sometimes.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
when my grandma tells me to just go ahead and kill myself. or makes my little cousin stay away from me, because ima mess
Your grandma is nasty, aren't they suppose to mellow out with age? I guess not huh
 
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W

watchtthethrone

Member
Jun 25, 2018
54
After spending one day in bed and refusing to eat, my mother had the exceedingly smart idea of trying to have me forcibly hospitalized; I was sitting in my room when suddenly 3 cops showed up outside my door. She picked me up at the hospital after the psychiatrist determined I was completely fine -- just depressed -- and refused to admit me. It wasn't anything she said, but I'll never forget the look of disgust on her face. She thought she could just have me dumped a ward and 'fixed'. It made me realize I'm not really a person in her eyes; just some 'problem'.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,785
An ex friend was desperate. His family had abandoned him. He had no place to live, no money to survive. I relocated from a city I loved to the toilet bowl of the USA to start a business with him. I thought I could save for retirement and pull him out of hell at the same time. I paid over $10K in attorney fees to draft a contract exchanging 50% in a company I created in exchange for faithful monthly repayments at 0% interest. I leased him a car, bought us company vehicles, paid for corporate and health insurance, paid for all our starting inventory, and treated my "friend" like a brother. Long story short. He met a girl, got her pregnant, and she convinced him to steal the business--all the inventory, all the money in the business bank account, the business vehicles. I lost my entire life savings. He also stuck me with the IRS and state tax bills--BOTH our halves. I maxed out my credit cards taking him to court. He never even bothered to show up b/c the State of IL refused to hear the case (for criminal grounds) because, as the Attorney General's office told me, "There's just not enough money involved to be worth our time." I won a default judgment in civil court (a joke) that's worthless b/c of the "justice system" in the US. It's impossible to collect.

And then there was the family who moved into the house my mom died in as a rental and then never paid a single month's rent after the first month. The bank foreclosed and turned around to sell the house to the same family for 60-cents on the dollar. I lost every penny of equity. The courts, police, lawyers all refused to help. Not enough money.

Or the bloody rape at the hands of five elite Finals Clubs members in the basement of Eliot House my sophomore year. The university not only didn't believe me, but they tossed me out of Eliot for "lying" at the insistence of the elites' powerful families. I slept on the streets or on gross night job sites from junior through senior years. I once had to sleep in a feces-encrusted public restroom at an IHOP I used to clean near Fenway Park.

Many more. I'm sure we all have 'em. Because justice is insubstantial or too expensive to come by, the injuries can be like gaping knife wounds that never heal b/c the next one comes too quickly. And finally, you're too old for anyone to give a damn about even though you've got decades and decades of "life" left. If you're not well-off by 40 or from money, you might as well be dead. Seems so to me.

Sorry for the long ramble. I can't summarize how much I've come to loathe humanity in general. People are treated according to how much others value them. There are billions of us. Any one of us who doesn't have enough resources to gift others can be worth less than the excrement on the underside of another's shoe.
 
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H

haipyo

New Member
Jun 19, 2018
3
Being told "Then just go die," and "Stop being a leech," from a person whom I thought I could trust when I confided to them I was feeling suicidal (a time when I wasn't yet committed to ctb).

And also, being trash talked by my mother when I was "asleep" as she was getting ready for work in the morning. She would call me a lazy failure for not landing a job immediately after graduating college and make up lies about how everyone was talking shit about me. I was already trying to do my best to look for a job but hearing her indirectly, verbally abuse me each morning really hurt, especially with how two-faced she acted when I was awake.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
When my son told me that he wished I had died instead of his dad.
All I could say was "so do I"
(He is only 9) so didn't realise how hurtful it was.
Other time was when he told me that he really hated his life because of an argument he had with a friend.
I said ,let's not bother with life then and end it together now if it's that bad.I sped up in the car to crash on purpose but couldn't do it as my son was histerically crying.
Just a little insight there to how shit my life has become!
 
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ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
639
At this point, anything that has to do with my physical aspect literally hurls me into the throes of ideation. Can we just pretend I'm an ethereal being made of god's good light or something
 
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Mari

Mari

Left forum, time's up
May 10, 2018
169
After telling me what a lost and horrible a being I am, "Even God can't help you!" - My father.

(At the age of 9 he also asked me if I was the devil's daughter. Back then I had no idea how to respond. Now I would ask back what that would make him.)
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
Parents can really suck sometimes.
Only sometimes?

--------------------

Is not something special, simply after so many years of absorbing poison and all the shit everybody said to me I got tired. And I developed an assassin instinct which is very worrying.

By everybody: teachers, parents, "friends"... Trying to hide all this hate is almost impossible.
 
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Lrdhlpme

Lrdhlpme

Student
Aug 2, 2018
138
Told you should hang yourself which was backed up by 5 other people .. keep thinking about it
 
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Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
624
An ex friend was desperate. His family had abandoned him. He had no place to live, no money to survive. I relocated from a city I loved to the toilet bowl of the USA to start a business with him. I thought I could save for retirement and pull him out of hell at the same time. I paid over $10K in attorney fees to draft a contract exchanging 50% in a company I created in exchange for faithful monthly repayments at 0% interest. I leased him a car, bought us company vehicles, paid for corporate and health insurance, paid for all our starting inventory, and treated my "friend" like a brother. Long story short. He met a girl, got her pregnant, and she convinced him to steal the business--all the inventory, all the money in the business bank account, the business vehicles. I lost my entire life savings. He also stuck me with the IRS and state tax bills--BOTH our halves. I maxed out my credit cards taking him to court. He never even bothered to show up b/c the State of IL refused to hear the case (for criminal grounds) because, as the Attorney General's office told me, "There's just not enough money involved to be worth our time." I won a default judgment in civil court (a joke) that's worthless b/c of the "justice system" in the US. It's impossible to collect.

And then there was the family who moved into the house my mom died in as a rental and then never paid a single month's rent after the first month. The bank foreclosed and turned around to sell the house to the same family for 60-cents on the dollar. I lost every penny of equity. The courts, police, lawyers all refused to help. Not enough money.

Or the bloody rape at the hands of five elite Finals Clubs members in the basement of Eliot House my sophomore year. The university not only didn't believe me, but they tossed me out of Eliot for "lying" at the insistence of the elites' powerful families. I slept on the streets or on gross night job sites from junior through senior years. I once had to sleep in a feces-encrusted public restroom at an IHOP I used to clean near Fenway Park.

Many more. I'm sure we all have 'em. Because justice is insubstantial or too expensive to come by, the injuries can be like gaping knife wounds that never heal b/c the next one comes too quickly. And finally, you're too old for anyone to give a damn about even though you've got decades and decades of "life" left. If you're not well-off by 40 or from money, you might as well be dead. Seems so to me.

Sorry for the long ramble. I can't summarize how much I've come to loathe humanity in general. People are treated according to how much others value them. There are billions of us. Any one of us who doesn't have enough resources to gift others can be worth less than the excrement on the underside of another's shoe.

Jesus man no wonder you've come to this... All i can say is that you are very resilient to even be still arround after all that shit. Makes my life seem like kindergarten...
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
Well, this is just a portion of why I am at this point. Words are words to me. I've been immune to their jests.
But somehow, it is the cruellest and most hideous term they have come to use against me.
They called me HUMAN.
It somehow added an iota of weight to the fact that I am going to attempt suicide this 8th of August because I've never hated myself more than when they used it against me. It's as if I was branded as an expired lunatic. Damn it. I couldn't even imagine how they came to that terminology.

Wow... funny you should say that. I don't know if this is anything like what you feel but it just reminded me of the fact that I came to the realization some time ago that I truly -hate- being human (you know how people are always telling you, "you're only human?" Yeah, that's not comforting). I wish I was perfect in every way and didn't have any character flaws or problems in my life. And I wish I wasn't a slave to biology (to whatever extent that is the case).

Anyways, to answer the thread, I'm surprised nobody else has said it, but I guess it is a bit tame, and a lot of people seem to actually feel this way (I don't). The thing that upset me most was that my brother got mad at me and told me that wanting to kill myself was selfish because it would leave my parents devastated for the rest of their lives. I just got mad though and it made me want to kill myself more.
 
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Meena

Meena

Student
Jun 7, 2018
138
Not only words can hurt. It hurts maybe even more when u r ignored or abandoned from people .
I had a manic episode and had acted badly.
After that some people refused to talk to me.
Society is so judgemental and avoiding to talk with people hwo have mental illness makes them feel superior.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Fuck Laura stay away from those thoughts with your son next time they enter your head !!!!
It's just one of the dangerous and crazy moments I sometimes have.
 
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No Future

No Future

No One
Aug 6, 2018
96
It's just one of the dangerous and crazy moments I sometimes have.

As Richyrich said: you can't involve your son in this. It may be a flash in the pan for you, but it's unfair to involve your son in those episodes.

If not for the possible physical harm your behavior might be responsible for, then for the guaranteed psychological damage he's due to inherit.

I'm extremely worried because of how casually you mentioned it as 'one of those...' moments. I can understand your frustration to a degree, but I implore you to consider the effect you will have on him. I cannot comprehend making a threat against a child's life because
he was airing his social grievances, let alone my own blood. If you're mentally unfit to care for him, please seek help.

Do not drag your child into this. Do not threaten his life when he's upset. Ever.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
As Richyrich said: you can't involve your son in this. It may be a flash in the pan for you, but it's unfair to involve your son in those episodes.

If not for the possible physical harm your behavior might be responsible for, then for the guaranteed psychological damage he's due to inherit.

I'm extremely worried because of how casually you mentioned it as 'one of those...' moments. I can understand your frustration to a degree, but I implore you to consider the effect you will have on him. I cannot comprehend making a threat against a child's life because
he was airing his social grievances, let alone my own blood. If you're mentally unfit to care for him, please seek help.

Do not drag your child into this. Do not threaten his life when he's upset. Ever.


I'm thinking Lara is a troll but good advice nonetheless.
 
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No Future

No Future

No One
Aug 6, 2018
96
I'm thinking Lara is a troll but good advice nonetheless.

Indeed! Very possible, but thought I'd roll the dice on this one.
 
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V

VX1

Student
Jun 28, 2018
118
I'm thinking Lara is a troll but good advice nonetheless.

Maybe she's not and is being honest. No doubt she won't post again thanks to the unwanted unqualified judgements.
If so, pat yourself on the back. You've just made her life a bit worse.
 
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