whats stopping YOU (yes YOU) from exploring the depths of your gender, or yourself in general

[PeterThePizzaGuy55]

TLDR; internalized and outside transphobia/homophobia

Tw: transphobic opinion

Because society rejects me, outcasts me. I'm alone. I feel like a freak in the circus, everyone's eyes trained on me to laugh and point. I can't be me. No matter how many people 'support' me, how many times I hear 'just be yourself' or any other cliche phrases, I always knoa I'll be hated either way; even by myself. Although I am transgender myself, I find it to be a revolting identity to take on. Possibly from the outside influence I've been subjected to my whole life. I just believe its something..wrong? Yet, I still am this way. I hate how I am. I despise my own being. Sometimes I wish I had been born when this identity was more widely hated or that id been put into a conversation therapy program, had some parents to knock sense into me. Not that I hate anyone else..I actually dont mind lgbtq at all. Its just that I want *myself* to be fixed, made normal again.. I know I will never be a true man or woman. I'm stuck in a limbo of hating myself and to put it best: I believe I am a total freak for wanting to defy my sex and be a man instead

 

[Abadoned_Me]

idk
i guess i want a deeper voice? I dont mind my afab body, except i want my chest to go- its the only way people know im afab
(I pass very well when i dress masc, i hang out with other guys, i seem more like just a stereotypical gay guy then a afab person- and no i dont mean that in a homophobic way, im gay-)

but I also really like kawaii fashion, so, I dress like a girl a lot, I started dressing like that
cuz my boyfriend likes it, but ive grown attached to it, plus it gets me 'cute dumb bf' points (Im cute in society's eyes, im kinda stupid, ect.)

so I guess if I had a choice, Id be a bio man, but want a cute feminine body still (Ive been blessed with a houreglass shape)
idk if this makes sense im tired

 

[toro]

because ill never be able to come out anyways, i know id be happier as a man, but my town and my family would exile me if i ever did, its not worth losing my little brother over

 

[Traumagotchi]

I'm transgender, FtM. And sometimes I can't make up my mind on how I'd like to present myself.

I'm 100 percent into the idea of getting top and bottom surgery, because I get so disphoric to the point where I gag when I change clothes.

But at the same time, I feel like maybe I would be happier if i was just prettier and made myself look more attractive as a woman.


I'm not sure :/

 

[QteStimBnnuy]

>who might you be

A mass murderer

Personal interest wise: probably may be a lil more of a crossdresser whenever I feel like it

Terms of gender: I don't acknowledge it, as sex is where the information lies. So that's all I need to know personally, I wouldnt manage to change it

Generally just doing me, chillin

 

[Sparr0w]

ive explored my gender and come out the other side as a genderfaun/agender person lol
getting actually prescribed HRT is gonna take like 6 months when i eventually go for it, and im happy with how my friends n family understand me, so i might end up CTBing before going on HRT cause, while id love to be on HRT, my gravestones gonna have "Sparrow" on it either way X)

 

[ScottPilgram]

With all due respect to those who read me because I think they may not like my answer and perhaps feel attacked
I think that gender ideology is one more part of the perversion of society, through increasing the confusion of people's sexuality and making them believe that by definition they can be something else which they are not, creating frustration in them, In addition to the cases of people who regret making a "gender" change
I really don't get it, what is the point of asking to remove your penis, vagina or breasts?
The penis, the vagina and the breasts are something really wonderful and worthy of being proud of having them.
I love what I have and I am not within what would be considered beautiful, also I do not dress in fashion or do the popular hairstyle
That of exploring oneself in general, if it is interesting, is an attitude that I think should be encouraged, being aware of the consequences of actions.
greetings

i wish i could delete comments :D

I'm transgender, FtM. And sometimes I can't make up my mind on how I'd like to present myself.

I'm 100 percent into the idea of getting top and bottom surgery, because I get so disphoric to the point where I gag when I change clothes.

But at the same time, I feel like maybe I would be happier if i was just prettier and made myself look more attractive as a woman.


I'm not sure :/

there are a lot of trans men who feel comfortable expression femininity only after going on T. You could call them femboys, this could be you maybe

idk
i guess i want a deeper voice? I dont mind my afab body, except i want my chest to go- its the only way people know im afab
(I pass very well when i dress masc, i hang out with other guys, i seem more like just a stereotypical gay guy then a afab person- and no i dont mean that in a homophobic way, im gay-)

but I also really like kawaii fashion, so, I dress like a girl a lot, I started dressing like that
cuz my boyfriend likes it, but ive grown attached to it, plus it gets me 'cute dumb bf' points (Im cute in society's eyes, im kinda stupid, ect.)

so I guess if I had a choice, Id be a bio man, but want a cute feminine body still (Ive been blessed with a houreglass shape)
idk if this makes sense im tired

:3 real femboy hours!!! this makes a lot of sense. I identified as a man all through highschool and i wore the prettiest dresses. I do not want my chest, and still dont >_<
but yes! this makes sense

 

[Mercury_Raven]

My gender is null, but also many. It is freeing to allow myself to be as i am, to live as i wish. To move with the flow of my feelings. I am water. There's 100 genders, there are no genders. You can't have light without dark, you cant have the absence of god without also the idea of god. If the world did not keep transgender people afraid under the constant threat of violence, if we lived in a world without restrictive rules and morals weighing you down. If you were truely allowed to exist, who might you be? Who would I have the pleasure of meeting right now? Close your eyes, think a little. Type it out.

I'm man, and to be honest, i never felt a problem with that. The "mainly" way of doing things were a problem i found how to cope so early in life it made part of what i am.

I also have a lot of "good eyes" about beeing a man and exploring what is to be a man. A topic that is quite hard to talk about with others, as they look like they never thought a lot about it. I find beauty in beeing sensitive when i should and beeing rough when is needed.

With all due respect to those who read me because I think they may not like my answer and perhaps feel attacked
I think that gender ideology is one more part of the perversion of society, through increasing the confusion of people's sexuality and making them believe that by definition they can be something else which they are not, creating frustration in them, In addition to the cases of people who regret making a "gender" change
I really don't get it, what is the point of asking to remove your penis, vagina or breasts?
The penis, the vagina and the breasts are something really wonderful and worthy of being proud of having them.
I love what I have and I am not within what would be considered beautiful, also I do not dress in fashion or do the popular hairstyle
That of exploring oneself in general, if it is interesting, is an attitude that I think should be encouraged, being aware of the consequences of actions.
greetings

One thing you are right and we agree completely is that people will not like your answer.

 

[ScottPilgram]

I'm man, and to be honest, i never felt a problem with that. The "mainly" way of doing things were a problem i found how to cope so early in life it made part of what i am.

I also have a lot of "good eyes" about beeing a man and exploring what is to be a man. A topic that is quite hard to talk about with others, as they look like they never thought a lot about it. I find beauty in beeing sensitive when i should and beeing rough when is needed.

One thing you are right and we agree completely is that people will not like your answer.

people always talk about how toxic masculinity is that they cant see that there can be positive masculinity. and I think you are practicing healthy masculinity. keep it up.

 

[Spaztism]

I'm a guy but I like to dress quite ambiguous despite my family being against it. in there eyes guys have short hair and girls have long. I tend to dress and wear what I want because my life not theirs. Wish I could grow my hair similar to lain's tho. Edit: By ambiguous it's mostly t shirts, jeans and oversized cute hoodies

 

[l0ve4eva]

I'm pretty comfortable with my assigned gender at birth and I love women and femininity BUT gender roles and sociocultural expectations about what women should be or should date (hint: only cishet men are allowed) or should aspire to be drive me nuts.

 

[mkitsune]

hmm, so for reference I'm AFAB, but I wasn't naturally blessed with an androgynous body, (skinny, passes easily as a man..)
this sounds silly but here's the truth: Not being pretty is terrifying for some reason, I do dress masc sometimes and my friends refer to me by he/him aswell, but I've always gotten somuch validation from society in general for my looks that it's very hard to detach from, it's like wanting people to like me > wanting to like me,
it sounds kinda pathetic tbh but hey, guess I'd have to build up a lot more confidence to be comfortable in my gender expression, one day maybe...

 

[Laivirt]

I'd just prefer to not think about it. Life is easier when people think you're cis.

Also I'll never have male genitalia so I have to wonder what the point even is. Bottom surgery for trans women + fems isn't perfect by any means, but it's definitely more advanced than bottom surgery for trans men + mascs. And it's expensive for both.

Think I'd rather kill myself lol

 

[Himalayan]

My completely lack of interest in this topic is preventing me

 

[Laivirt]

hmm, so for reference I'm AFAB, but I wasn't naturally blessed with an androgynous body, (skinny, passes easily as a man..)
this sounds silly but here's the truth: Not being pretty is terrifying for some reason, I do dress masc sometimes and my friends refer to me by he/him aswell, but I've always gotten somuch validation from society in general for my looks that it's very hard to detach from, it's like wanting people to like me > wanting to like me,
it sounds kinda pathetic tbh but hey, guess I'd have to build up a lot more confidence to be comfortable in my gender expression, one day maybe...

Nah that's real. I grew up being the fat kid and it really fucked me over when I started questioning my gender because it felt impossible to figure out whether I was trans or just didn't feel like a woman because no one ever treated me as one.

People will tell you being a woman is about having certain chromosomes or body parts or whatever the hell but it's all bullshit. You are "socialized female" if people consider you attractive. If you are not attractive, no one really acknowledges you even exist. You are not socialized male or female but agender.

I'm hoping that once I hit my goal weight I'll maybe be able to figure out whether the issue really was GD or if I just hated myself because I was ugly. Right now I'm starting to notice that my waist is becoming visible and it's really weird to me. That's all I've got so far.

 

[she]

If the world did not keep transgender people afraid under the constant threat of violence, if we lived in a world without restrictive rules and morals weighing you down. If you were truly allowed to exist, who might you be? Who would I have the pleasure of meeting right now?

Unfortunately, I don't believe that in this case, either of us will ever be blessed with the opportunity to find out the answer to that question. I, like many others here, am transgender. However, due to many factors in my life, including the levels of tension between our governments and LGBTQIA+ groups and individuals, the ceaseless calls for violence, the harassment, the anti-legislation, and all of the bullshit in between, I don't believe I'll be able to have the pleasure of being around for much longer, let alone having the opportunity to live my truth and present myself as the woman that I know I am. It's all too much to bare.