The only thing holding me back is my wife. Otherwise, I would've done it a long time ago. She is my tutor and is always with me.
Almost everyday is a bad day but today has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I feel really bad today. I wish I could CTB today. So tired of feeling hopeless, like a failure, full of guilt. I feel less than nothing. Besides if I do it, i'll become another statistic. I'm simply tired, my life is a mess. Don't know about you, but the emotional pain is unreal. I'll be looking for methods... however i'll like to donate my organs so my ending have some kind of purpose. That last thing is kind of Ironic isn't it.