this is my first post on here, i'm sorry in advance if i mess it up somehow.
my life has felt like this endless cycle of just getting worse, getting slightly better purely just to get worse again, i don't know what to do, there's this part of me that desperately wants to get better, to be able to live a fulfilling and meaningful life but i just can't do it.
one of my (now ex) closest friends absolutely hates my guys and i don't know what to do, i can't face our mutual friends without feeling this full body crushing guilt, they meant so so much to me and i ruined it all, it's sickening because it's all my fault and i can't pretend it isn't, our mutual friends are some of the closest people to me too and im expecting any moment now that they're going to send me a message cutting me off as well
my life feels so meaningless, i have these endless ideas and wants of things i want to do and every single day i try to be better i always end up doing nothing but wallowing in my own misery, it's fucking devastating whenever i think about the person i could be and how ill never be it
i have this desperate ache in my heart to find "my person" somebody who gets and understands me and can pull me out of this never ending spiral of depression but i know it isn't possible, these kinds of saviors only exist in fiction but i can't stop feeling anguished knowing ill never have my person
i don't know what to do with myself, i can't keep living like this, but it also feels like i can't get better, and yet i don't have the ability to CTB, so what the hell am i supposed to do?
my life has felt like this endless cycle of just getting worse, getting slightly better purely just to get worse again, i don't know what to do, there's this part of me that desperately wants to get better, to be able to live a fulfilling and meaningful life but i just can't do it.
one of my (now ex) closest friends absolutely hates my guys and i don't know what to do, i can't face our mutual friends without feeling this full body crushing guilt, they meant so so much to me and i ruined it all, it's sickening because it's all my fault and i can't pretend it isn't, our mutual friends are some of the closest people to me too and im expecting any moment now that they're going to send me a message cutting me off as well
my life feels so meaningless, i have these endless ideas and wants of things i want to do and every single day i try to be better i always end up doing nothing but wallowing in my own misery, it's fucking devastating whenever i think about the person i could be and how ill never be it
i have this desperate ache in my heart to find "my person" somebody who gets and understands me and can pull me out of this never ending spiral of depression but i know it isn't possible, these kinds of saviors only exist in fiction but i can't stop feeling anguished knowing ill never have my person
i don't know what to do with myself, i can't keep living like this, but it also feels like i can't get better, and yet i don't have the ability to CTB, so what the hell am i supposed to do?
