What’s people’s emotions when they think about their ctb

[Avicii]

I'm only asking as apart from the natural fear (which is stupid as we all die anyway) I feel tearful , a bit of anger , see mines from Tinnitus a condition that mentally batters you till your wimping on the ground, the next stage is the method, I applaud all those ordering N and SN me I'm too in the minute type of person , wouldn't do it to the train driver but if they were automatic for me stepping out in front of the train head hit like an instant , be so easy everything else takes time SN, N , jumping , hanging , anyway I've promise I'd do Xmas so as not to ruin it for the family after that I'm a ticking time bomb

 

[R_N]

For me, first it is feeling of how much relief would it be to escape my problems. Second it is fear of failure and ending up with more problems.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Bliss, happiness, relief.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I pretty much run through a whole gamut of emotions when I think about it. But the ones that stick most are mostly a sense of relief and curiosity. I'm somewhat eager to just do it already but I want to give this thing called "life" one last shot.

 

[Moonicide]

It's been a roller coaster of emotions for me, but I've been processing the emotions that come with the decision to ctb for about a month and a half now... As the date gets nearer and nearer, I'm more at peace with my decision. I'm just very calm... I've been slowly putting things in boxes so my mom doesn't have to do much when I pass. But don't get me wrong, my heart still hurts. I still cry. Because I am loved to some extent and I know I'll be leaving pain behind, but my quality of life isn't sustainable anymore. Love isn't enough to make me stay anymore... All I can hope is one day they'll understand and forgive me for this.

 

[ftchr]

All I feel is an anger inside me. I'm thinking once I died, they will know that I went through too much pain (not physically but all inside). That they will somehow show that they care and all the wrongs that they have done to me.

 

[Squiddy]

Relief, but also fear of the unknown

 

[Enshadowed]

This is tough as I am just in the beginning of my planning stage. But anxious and nervous as I want to make sure I get everything together and that it doesn't fail. A little comfort and relief knowing that when I get everything I won't have to be in pain anymore. Overwhelmed a bit as I try to read everything I can and figure out where I need to get everything.