My parents, no convenient way to do it, and video games. As pathetic as it may be I always feel most happy/content with my life when playing video games, I have loved them since I was a little kid. Unfortunately once I turn them off I get reminded how shitty my life situation is
Being a pussy and being scared I'll be found before I can CTB. I was trying earlier and couldn't get it right. I think I'll try some sleeping pills, alcohol, and time in the bathroom.
Shitty cope and tiny shred of hope that "maybe it'll get better". It's been 31 years. Just CTB already. There is no hope. It's just distractions from the inevitable. When I find the "permanent solution" I'm so out of this disgustingly cruel world and my self.
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