Discussion What's keeping you guys alive?

[ThatStateOfMind]

I think this is already a thread, probably multiple threads but I haven't seen one in a bit. Personally, I'm still holding out hope (though that is dwindling) in a better future. I at least want to wait until I'm in university. I also have my mom and my cat. Finally, there's an online friend I have, we met here, and I want to stay alive for her as well, as we are still in contact though she's left this site. Also, I should also mention I might have would've done it already if I had SN, now the prices are kinda crazy. I don't know who DMC is but I do know people have said their prices are now like $80 for 50 grams of SN. Anyways, that's probably about all that's keeping me alive right now.

 

[SeekingPeace164]

For me it's my family. It would destroy my mom. I do fear failure but not too much considering my method will likely be a shotgun.

 

[hot]

Discover films, series, artists that I don't know yet. Also i want to travel the world first. I want to finish school and go to university. Prove it to everyone once and then leave.
And my mom and my dad, i just love them and cant do this to them.

 

[bluebird16]

Parents. They are too good. I don't deserve them. Guilt...

 

[FuneralCry]

Sadly, there isn't the option for me to just easily die in a peaceful and guaranteed way with no risks involved so there's simply no other option but to continue suffering in this existence. I'm only here as existence was so harmfully imposed in the first place, it wasn't my choice, it's so horrible to me how humans procreate even know nobody can suffer from never existing at all, I just wish for non-existence, I wish I stayed permanently unaware, it's better to never exist and I'd never wish for something as undesirable as existence.
Having the ability to exist truly is an abomination, it's an disgusting unacceptable crime how there isn't the option to just fall asleep eternally, I wish for a guaranteed peaceful poison or suicide pill that leads to instant death.

 

[Darkover]

this crappy broken machine that i am

 

[Forveleth]

I was in school and decoded to stick out the semester. Then I hung on for a trip to visit a friend. But now, I have nothing. I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready. I am a firm believer in not holding yourself to a date but rather just "knowing" when it's your time. So I'm just hanging out until I feel ready to try again.

 

[stellrmc]

Some shitty tiny little hope I have just lost.

 

[divinemistress36]

Fear of a failed attempt

 

[ijustwishtodie]

What's keeping me alive is survival instinct, being scared of the consequences of a failed attempt, being scared of the pain that the suicide attempt will cause me, lack of opportunities to kill myself and.. that's it really. I'm not alive because I enjoy life or because I hope for something better. I'm only alive because there isn't a peaceful guaranted way for me to die which I can access. If there was a peaceful way for me to die which I could access, I wouldn't be chatting on this forum right now... I would be long gone

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I was in school and decoded to stick out the semester. Then I hung on for a trip to visit a friend. But now, I have nothing. I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready. I am a firm believer in not holding yourself to a date but rather just "knowing" when it's your time. So I'm just hanging out until I feel ready to try again.

Nothing wrong with that. Tbh, my mom has been the only constant reason, but it's like I try to find some reason to stick around but doing that is harder and harder, I don't know if I'll ever feel ready to ctb

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Emotional inertia and fear of failure

 

[Zaphkiel]

see under my name on the left

 

[Vicolo cieco]

The chance of getting a comfy government job.

 

[Victim.Of.Life]

In 3 weeks I have my degree as a paralegal and in september I'm going to a good university in another country.
It's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. But I still feel like i'd rather just die.

 

[Raven2]

Because I am scared of a failed attempt and being disabled also terrified of the unknown after death

 

[unabletocope]

Family, fatigue, mental disorganisation, anxiety, lack of confidence in methods, wrestling against feeling like suicide would make people feel smug. A lot of things, but we're getting to some form of end point. The colder I get, the more focused I feel.

 

[Kurai]

I honestly don't know why I'm still alive I think it's cause I'm scared of failing my attempt :(

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Anxiety mostly

 

[staticdepression]

Not finding a reliable accessable painless method
Also i'd like it too look accidental

 

[thot88]

My grandparents who have been closer than mom and dad

 

[Don’tDoxMe]

My attempts keep failing. That's literally the only reason.

 

[theboy]

my circle of affection

 

[crystal_meth97]

I know this is the Suicide Discussions section of SaSu, but I'm in a very good place mentally right now. What's keeping me alive? Multiple things and people - my recovery partner, my parents, my cats, the hopefully awesome things awaiting me in the future, even if they might be challenging and come with some suffering, as well as small things like traveling, tattoos, music, art, vegan food, the little things. As of now, I would CTB only when I had no one left and/or I would be too ill or disabled to take care of myself during old age. So yeah, I do have hope now. Sorry if I sound too optimistic for this section.

 

[itsneverbeenmoreove]

Unironically the main thing is that I'm super fucking lazy. And the effort required to do one of the methods I'd like is just a bit too much for me in my current state. Story of my fucking life I swear.

 

[Z-A]

Addictions and no peaceful method to CTB yet.

 

[AmericanMary]

SaSu chat rooms

Lowkey ironic.

 

[Trakehner]

afraid of failing again and the lack of a reliable method

 

[simplymiserable]

inability to break my parents' hearts

 

[splendiferous]

In addition to some of the things already said here, what is keeping me alive is feeling like I have a moral obligation to stay alive to figure out ways to stand up for the voiceless animals that live in agony in factory farms and ironically knowing how many animals in those conditions there are makes me simultaneously want to die. Plus hope for the singularity which I sometimes think is a cope, which I suppose all hope is. And possibly deluding myself into thinking I will find my life purpose anytime soon