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ThatStateOfMind

Paragon
Nov 13, 2021
952
I think this is already a thread, probably multiple threads but I haven't seen one in a bit. Personally, I'm still holding out hope (though that is dwindling) in a better future. I at least want to wait until I'm in university. I also have my mom and my cat. Finally, there's an online friend I have, we met here, and I want to stay alive for her as well, as we are still in contact though she's left this site. Also, I should also mention I might have would've done it already if I had SN, now the prices are kinda crazy. I don't know who DMC is but I do know people have said their prices are now like $80 for 50 grams of SN. Anyways, that's probably about all that's keeping me alive right now.
 
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SeekingPeace164

SeekingPeace164

Member
Mar 20, 2024
97
For me it's my family. It would destroy my mom. I do fear failure but not too much considering my method will likely be a shotgun.
 
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U

Unknown User

Mar 3, 2024
160
Discover films, series, artists that I don't know yet. Also i want to travel the world first. I want to finish school and go to university. Prove it to everyone once and then leave.
And my mom and my dad, i just love them and cant do this to them.
 
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B

bluebird16

Student
Feb 27, 2023
151
Parents. They are too good. I don't deserve them. Guilt...
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,254
Sadly, there isn't the option for me to just easily die in a peaceful and guaranteed way with no risks involved so there's simply no other option but to continue suffering in this existence. I'm only here as existence was so harmfully imposed in the first place, it wasn't my choice, it's so horrible to me how humans procreate even know nobody can suffer from never existing at all, I just wish for non-existence, I wish I stayed permanently unaware, it's better to never exist and I'd never wish for something as undesirable as existence.
Having the ability to exist truly is an abomination, it's an disgusting unacceptable crime how there isn't the option to just fall asleep eternally, I wish for a guaranteed peaceful poison or suicide pill that leads to instant death.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,083
this crappy broken machine that i am
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
755
I was in school and decoded to stick out the semester. Then I hung on for a trip to visit a friend. But now, I have nothing. I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready. I am a firm believer in not holding yourself to a date but rather just "knowing" when it's your time. So I'm just hanging out until I feel ready to try again.
 
stellrmc

stellrmc

just an old member
May 25, 2024
2
Some shitty tiny little hope I have just lost.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,373
Fear of a failed attempt
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,611
What's keeping me alive is survival instinct, being scared of the consequences of a failed attempt, being scared of the pain that the suicide attempt will cause me, lack of opportunities to kill myself and.. that's it really. I'm not alive because I enjoy life or because I hope for something better. I'm only alive because there isn't a peaceful guaranted way for me to die which I can access. If there was a peaceful way for me to die which I could access, I wouldn't be chatting on this forum right now... I would be long gone
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Paragon
Nov 13, 2021
952
I was in school and decoded to stick out the semester. Then I hung on for a trip to visit a friend. But now, I have nothing. I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready. I am a firm believer in not holding yourself to a date but rather just "knowing" when it's your time. So I'm just hanging out until I feel ready to try again.
Nothing wrong with that. Tbh, my mom has been the only constant reason, but it's like I try to find some reason to stick around but doing that is harder and harder, I don't know if I'll ever feel ready to ctb
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,015
Emotional inertia and fear of failure
 
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Z

Zaphkiel

IDK
May 13, 2023
173
see under my name on the left
 
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Vicolo cieco

Vicolo cieco

Student
May 14, 2024
109
The chance of getting a comfy government job.
 
Victim.Of.Life

Victim.Of.Life

My bus is waiting
Jun 27, 2023
51
In 3 weeks I have my degree as a paralegal and in september I'm going to a good university in another country.
It's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. But I still feel like i'd rather just die.
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Specialist
Dec 1, 2022
317
Because I am scared of a failed attempt and being disabled also terrified of the unknown after death
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
728
Family, fatigue, mental disorganisation, anxiety, lack of confidence in methods, wrestling against feeling like suicide would make people feel smug. A lot of things, but we're getting to some form of end point. The colder I get, the more focused I feel.
 
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Kurai

Kurai

Suffering
Jul 23, 2023
149
I honestly don't know why I'm still alive I think it's cause I'm scared of failing my attempt :(
 
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sancta-simplicitas

sancta-simplicitas

Experienced
Dec 14, 2023
261
Anxiety mostly
 
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S

staticdepression

Member
Jan 18, 2024
7
Not finding a reliable accessable painless method
Also i'd like it too look accidental
 
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T

thot88

Student
Apr 11, 2023
123
My grandparents who have been closer than mom and dad
 
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Don’tDoxMe

Don’tDoxMe

Victim of abuse and the US healthcare system
Oct 19, 2023
75
My attempts keep failing. That's literally the only reason.
 
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theboy

theboy

Visionary
Jul 15, 2022
2,999
my circle of affection
 
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crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
155
I know this is the Suicide Discussions section of SaSu, but I'm in a very good place mentally right now. What's keeping me alive? Multiple things and people - my recovery partner, my parents, my cats, the hopefully awesome things awaiting me in the future, even if they might be challenging and come with some suffering, as well as small things like traveling, tattoos, music, art, vegan food, the little things. As of now, I would CTB only when I had no one left and/or I would be too ill or disabled to take care of myself during old age. So yeah, I do have hope now. Sorry if I sound too optimistic for this section.
 
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itsneverbeenmoreove

itsneverbeenmoreove

You are just my love
May 21, 2024
78
Unironically the main thing is that I'm super fucking lazy. And the effort required to do one of the methods I'd like is just a bit too much for me in my current state. Story of my fucking life I swear.
 
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Z-A

Z-A

Let me go
Mar 3, 2024
279
Addictions and no peaceful method to CTB yet.
 
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AmericanMary

AmericanMary

Arcanist
Apr 30, 2024
490
SaSu chat rooms

Lowkey ironic.
 
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Trakehner

Trakehner

Student
Apr 22, 2023
111
afraid of failing again and the lack of a reliable method
 
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S

simplymiserable

Hi
May 21, 2023
35
inability to break my parents' hearts
 
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S

splendiferous

Member
May 2, 2024
10
In addition to some of the things already said here, what is keeping me alive is feeling like I have a moral obligation to stay alive to figure out ways to stand up for the voiceless animals that live in agony in factory farms and ironically knowing how many animals in those conditions there are makes me simultaneously want to die. Plus hope for the singularity which I sometimes think is a cope, which I suppose all hope is. And possibly deluding myself into thinking I will find my life purpose anytime soon
 
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