Me neither
I could go into more detail to make it clearer, but it's good to see that you've understood the core of it. Not everyone gets to hear this perspective from me
I get the idea but go into detail if you want, it makes me feel less alone. Similarly to what the other person I replied to was talking about, I have tried to make myself live since if I hate living so much, it could be used as a form of self harm right? But even then I couldn't think of it that way, and it's not the same. At least I never got the same relief from that versus physical self-harm, which I was forced to quit for reasons that take too long to explain.
feels miserable and exhausting almost every single day, really. even when there's moments where i'm happy or excited, nothing truly satisfies me or fills that empty void within. i mean, nothing has truly satisfied me for years, and i don't think anything ever will.
I feel this way too. It's so cliché but you're not alone. And this is the only place where I actually believe that saying. Everyone says it but here I actually feel it. We are all in the same boat one way or another, and I hope it makes you feel even a little bit better to know I feel this way too. To know someone understands.
For me existing is just waiting to die, it's just suffering all for the sake of it and no matter what I'll just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this dreadful, torturous existence I always saw as a mistake, I'd never want to be alive, I'd never want to feel anything rather all I want is to be permanently unconscious with no more pain and no more suffering, I just want all to be forgotten about and I wish I never suffered more than anything.
I understand this and I'm sorry you're suffering. We never asked to be born and yet, if we want to die suddenly all the responsibility and everything is on us despite never asking to be here??? And then suicide has so many risks and consequences that I can't be bothered with and I'm sure that's a huge reason you're still trapped here too, and the actual painless way(euthanasia) is illegal in many places ESPECIALLY for mental suffering, and even in places it isn't, it's a long and expensive process to get. Do you remember that YouTube video about this site? And the sickening comments I read(I have a whole other post as a rant about that) claiming since you have so many posts you must not really want to die and you just want other people to? I don't know you personally, but when I saw people say that it just proves they will never understand this place and the people on this website and they'll never understand what it's like to be a suicidal person. If you were encouraging anyone to do it that's different and something I don't condone, but I never saw you do so. For people to say something so idiotic simply because you have a lot of posts here? This place is literally made for talking about this stuff. And I hate that people think that, they wonder why everyone here doesn't just do it. But it's not that simple or easy. It never is. And if things in general were so easy then nobody would be on SaSu. I feel your pain, and I think having so many posts just proves it instead of disproves. But we shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. People are so shitty and don't get it. They don't understand not everyone is able to kill themselves, the same way not everyone can be rich. It's not your fault.
EDIT: sorry not to bring up the past but I just like making myself clear on my opinions since nothing on the internet is truly private and what if someone(besides everyone here) sees my posts and stuff? So I went back to the video and skimmed it just to make sure I'm not defending anyone who encourages others to ctb, I believe it's wrong and it's against the rules here aswell. So was just making sure, yeah you didn't encourage anyone as far as I saw. I disagree with some of the things you said(was probably years ago, but I get paranoid about people getting the wrong idea about what I think and stuff, like not knowing my opinions) so you can have yours and I can have mine as long as no one's hurting anyone, this isn't to bash you this is just for my own paranoia so don't mind me. The vid references you saying this like how life should never be valued and how true peace can only be achieved with leaving this world, etc. I get that however what I disagree with is when you said that about people in general, that false beliefs that basically say otherwise are just preventing others from achieving true peace. I am bad at wording things so I'll try to keep it short, a lot of people would agree and there's a lot of things you say that I personally resonate with but to say that about everyone(in the world, not about here specifically) I disagree with. Everyone is different and it's okay to voice your feelings that suicide would fix everything for you and a lot of us feel that way, but not to speak for others. That's probably why in the YouTube video and in the comments people thought you were encouraging others to ctb. It's not the solution for everyone, and tons of people find peace without a peaceful suicide, it sucks that we haven't but I just wanted to make it clear I disagree that that is true for everyone. And life isn't the problem for everyone. It seems as though(at least at the time) you think it's the only way for anyone to find true peace but there's a difference between just talking about yourself and talking about the whole world. Another disclaimer for my own peace of mind, whenever I post anything I'm speaking for myself, and not anyone else. Everyone is different like I said. And a peaceful suicide wouldn't solve everything and/or be the best outcome for everyone. I'm sure you're aware it's just the way you spoke(at least what was quoted in the vid) makes it seem as if you speak for everyone but you don't. Nobody can. Anyways that's all, sorry nothing personal I'm just a paranoid person and I feel like if I don't make myself clear someone is gonna find my posts and like use them against me or something. And that almost makes it sound like this edit is just to hypothetically cover my ass but I do mean what I said, it's not just for show in case someone sees.
I wasn't talking about a person. But It's not me glorifying it, it's the majority though.
