Discussion What's holding you back from ctb? Do you worry about the afterlife?

[-Focusedarkness-]

For me, I am afraid, I am afraid of whats to come in the after life. I've had everything I needed for almost a month now. I am worried that when I do try then I may not succeed with it. I had a date set to leave. But, I couldn't bring myself to it for these reasons. What are your answers?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Failure, the possibility of nothing afterwards (I'm not talking an eternity, just long enough to make sure my loved ones are ok so a few years or until they themselves die depending on how the afterlife is for me) but the biggest most complicated thing..... I don't want to die. I never have. I just want this suffering to stop.

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't want to die. I have too many interests. I still have the internet and can spend my days researching things to my heart's content. But I'm in too much non stop pain.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Don't have a time and place. On days like today my resolve to get it over with is stronger than the fear.

I need something airtight but an opportunity hasn't presented itself yet. I can't just disappear for a day without a good enough pretext.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm not afraid of what happens next because I believe that when we die, it's just eternal nothingness. I'm afraid of failing my CTB attempt and fucking things up even more for myself. Plus I don't even have a proper method.

 

[MariV]

I don't want to die. I have too many interests. I still have the internet and can spend my days researching things to my heart's content. But I'm in too much non stop pain.

same here..my problem is pain :(

I'm not afraid of what happens next because I believe that when we die, it's just eternal nothingness. I'm afraid of failing my CTB attempt and fucking things up even more for myself. Plus I don't even have a proper method.

keep on mond my offer :)

 

[Deleted member 19817]

I fear pain and I fear failing. I know where I'm going next, in fact I long to go where I'm going next. It's my bright light of hope and joy. It's just getting the bus right.

 

[Mr2005]

I don't want to die. I have too many interests. I still have the internet and can spend my days researching things to my heart's content. But I'm in too much non stop pain.

Interesting. That's precisely why I'm in so much pain. Because I didn't. Ridiculous I know

 

[Squiddy]

What's holding me back is family, friends and fear of a potential hell

 

[palmtrees900]

i don't want to make my friends and teachers sad or disappointed

 

[ecmnesia]

family

 

[LonelyNick]

Waiting for my SN to arrive. Waiting for a friend to come over for their holiday. So much waiting....

 

[GreenTree]

Messing it up again is my fear. I also dont want loved ones to suffer. I want my old life back but that's not going to happen. Every second is torture.

 

[Iseeblue_711]

For me, I am afraid, I am afraid of whats to come in the after life. I've had everything I needed for almost a month now. I am worried that when I do try then I may not succeed with it. I had a date set to leave. But, I couldn't bring myself to it for these reasons. What are your answers?

First of all, I m scared that after, there is nothing and I won t get to meet my father, which is the most important reason I m doing it in the first place, that if I don t succeed, who s gonna find me(an elder person) is gonna have a heart attack and I ll have to live with it, the regret of not meeting my bff in rl and maybe some experiences that I ll never experience(like, I ve never had a boyfriend, I never did drugs and that s because I didn t have the oportunit, not because I didn t want to, and some other things)

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Fear of the unknown. I think that my over the top anxiety is SI's best mate.

I think too - I'm apparently the most stubborn person anyone has ever met, and I keep thinking I can turn my sh*t around and at times this discourages me from throwing in the towel.

Throw in enough coffee and a tad of hypomania and the illusion from my glass appears half full.

 

[k75]

Oh, I'm afraid of everything unknown, but that's not necessarily keeping me here. I'm lucky to have friends and family who support me, and I'm not eager to hurt them. And I have an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to leave anything unfinished, but I'm too exhausted and sick to make myself do any of it. Maybe I'm just too lazy to not be miserable. Maybe I just hate myself too much to get it over with already. I'm really just so tired...

 

[Meditation guide]

fear of a potential hell

You need to let go of that fear because someone has planted that idea in your head. It's terrible people do that.
I hate organized religions for doing things like that to people. I believe an afterlife will be what we think it will be, whatever that is. We in a sense create it ourselves only it's vivid and real just as this world is.

We are our own creators of our reality once we dump our meatsuits.

 

[Beforeigo]

The fact if I die I don't know who would take my dog and I couldn't cope with the thought of him going to live with my toxic hoarder parents

 

[Squiddy]

You need to let go of that fear because someone has planted that idea in your head. It's terrible people do that.
I hate organized religions for doing things like that to people. I believe an afterlife will be what we think it will be, whatever that is. We in a sense create it ourselves only it's vivid and real just as this world is.

We are our own creators of our reality once we dump our meatsuits.

Yeah its deep planted inside my head. My mind is like "but what if it's true?" And it's so annoying

 

[GreenTree]

I can't understand how a loving god would send people to hell. Especially people who have tried there hardest to live a good life.

 

[deleted]

afraid to fail, and I need to stay alive maybe until next month I want to help a friend

 

[Meditation guide]

he fact if I die I don't know who would take my dog

That is reason enough to continue living.

I can't understand how a loving god would send people to hell.

Stop thinking God is some external being. You are God. We all are our own Gods. Right now that God is what I call "the watcher". Not judging, not doing anything but watching us.

The eye on the dollar bill hints that our forefathers may have been aware of this.

 

[GreenTree]

What you on about. Im not god. I didn't create everything.

 

[Heart Shards]

No. I'm not afraid of death. I have a relationship with Jesus. When I checkout, he'll be on the other side. That's what I believe; no one will sway me from it; my faith and writing are the only things life can't rob me of. God understands my unbearable suffering.

 

[voidman]

Yeah, but I know it's only because we are indoctrinated to do so. I really hope it is nothingness, but I also believe reincarnation is possible in some form.

 

[MrBigSad]

I tried to leave around a month ago. I just didn't put the proper care and properation into it. Now I know I will not make the same mistakes.

What stops me right now is my parents and how sad they would be. But after dad getting pissy with me for accidentally not answering my phone and never saying I love you too after he left like we normally do I figure this hell isn't worth suffering through just to make them happy. That and if you don't do it right it's a horrible experience. I attempted overdosing and drowning. This time I will jump.

I wish you safe travels for when you do decide to leave. Dying is never a comfortable experience.

 

[Deleted member 94]

The fact if I die I don't know who would take my dog and I couldn't cope with the thought of him going to live with my toxic hoarder parents

Can you not rehouse him/her before that?

 

[Despondent_One]

I feel incredibly guilty leaving my elderly mom. I have no one else in my life to worry about but I have her. She has no other children to help her should she need it when I'm gone. Also, I made a very serious attempt 20 years ago and promised her I wouldn't try that again while she was alive. Now I feel like a liar as well as a failure. But how do you live for someone else when every waking moment you just want out? This is part of the reason I never had children.

 

[Lost1804]

I feel incredibly guilty leaving my elderly mom. I have no one else in my life to worry about but I have her. She has no other children to help her should she need it when I'm gone. Also, I made a very serious attempt 20 years ago and promised her I wouldn't try that again while she was alive. Now I feel like a liar as well as a failure. But how do you live for someone else when every waking moment you just want out? This is part of the reason I never had children.

How old is your mum?
Have you considered asking her to go with you? If she loses you her life will be destroyed. I wish my daughter had told me she was going to do it I'd be gone now, with her. Xx

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I need to take care of everything here first. Letters, final documents/ wills, sell/ give away stuff..