Partial suspension, considering getting tipsy beforehand. If I get drunk I might do it wrong, but if I am sober I am nervous I'll get too scared to do it. I mean, I'm intent on doing this. But I tend to get anxious, not do it, then the next day I want to depart even worse than before. Considering I'm at my lowest point in life to the point that theres no use in going on, I need to do it correctly. Doing it wrong can be devastating, leaving me with brain damage and my family with incredibly expensive medical bills for practically nothing. I understand my family will be hurt by me ctb, thats why I don't want to make it worse on them by it failing and having me wired up for the rest of my life. Maybe thats my anxiety talking, but oh well.