What would you want to fix so you didnt have to take your life?

[memento_mori]

social isolation - when I see pictures of people hanging out with friends i feel terribly lonely and wished I had a life like that. My social skills are good and I've been told I'm a great caring person but people just keep dumping me into the back burner and/ or forget about me
relationship - dated someone I've known for nearly a decade and when things ended lost friends because of that. I'm not in a mental state to be in a relationship as I'm just too preoccupied with suicide thoughts, depressed and numb inside.
but even if those two factor changed I might still end up here as I've been struggling with suicide thoughts since I was 11 or 12

 

[WinterIsComing]

social isolation - when I see pictures of people hanging out with friends i feel terribly lonely and wished I had a life like that. My social skills are good and I've been told I'm a great caring person but people just keep dumping me into the back burner and/ or forget about me

Same thing to me...
Fake friends........

 

[Oblivion]

I really can live with myself, even though im pretty much fucked up, but i accept myself the way iam and i enjoy life, the problem is no financial income and i keep getting fired from jobs, i dont wanna live in poverty anymore depending on my dad and/or brother.

 

[Person]

For my husband to walk out of the mourge and help me raise our two babies

 

[jake3d]

What i would change about me if i could go back?

Training so i would not be so easy to influence.
Listening to my intuition.
Leaving home for the unknown 10 years ago instead of self-harming to cope with stress and constantly being yelled at for crap and getting kicked out then called back in again an hour later.
Not losing my stolen sleeping pills or getting a prescription several years ago, before i let my insomnia damage me.
Choosing to turn my vacation in the UK into a permanent stay in 2015, when i was on top of my game.
Cutting ties with people and family in my past, instead of allowing myself to be pulled back by them and hurting me and my loved one.
Never starting smoking.
Never giving up smoking after i started. Long story short one reason i messed myself up is taking up vaping - i am still pro vaping if you can moderate yourself - but while i was not a heavy smoker unless i was drinking, i vaped to the point of poisoning myself for months without noticing, or just plain ignoring the signs of sickness, as i would rarely feel 100% fine anyway.
Avoiding taking up all the cheap jobs and spending more time with my girlfriend. I have the money now but for what use, since i've unrecoverably damaged myself?

 

[Severen]

I want to look the same way I looked in my early 20s. I want to be a millionaire or a billionaire with no physical or mental health problems. And I want to never age, physically. Basically I want to be like a millionaire or billionaire vampire. And no, I don't want the money to just buy stupid shit. But to explore the world, acquire more and more knowledge and help people.

For my husband to walk out of the mourge and help me raise our two babies

Mourge?

 

[JoeFailure]

I want to look the same way I looked in my early 20s. I want to be a millionaire or a billionaire with no physical or mental health problems. And I want to never age, physically. Basically I want to be like a millionaire or billionaire vampire. And no, I don't want the money to just buy stupid shit. But to explore the world, acquire more and more knowledge and help people.



Mourge?

I would literally take 50 grand and be the happiest guy on the planet.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

society

 

[Final Escape]

Money. It's true that money can't buy happiness, but it does buy security which is one of the prerequisites for happiness. I don't even want to be rich, just safe. Not worrying about homelessness all the time.

Right it's one big reason I feel pressured to ctb. Economic insecurity.

 

[Final Escape]

Money mostly. I really feel like I could have had a great rest of my life with helping people and working with kids with autism. But I screwed up.

Also it's kind of sad that I'll essentially die a 34 or 35 year old virgin because of what happened to me sexually when I was young. I'm actually a healthy, fit, decent looking dude who's turned down advances because I was freaked out about sex.

What a disaster of a life. 34, couple thousand in the bank, make 47k, no house, just an apartment and a leased car, no sex.

What's even crazier is I was actually a happy guy through most of this, literally the most I've ever had in my bank account in my life was $7,000. But I didn't think I'd ever want a partner till now so I just didn't care. Now that I do...it's game over. I'm never going to have the money to have a relationship.

You need to have sex at least once before u die lol! It's pretty amazing don't give up yet u are still young. You're not a failure it's much more complicated these days for a variety of reasons. The boomer generation was the last to be able to have nice lives because there was a lot more economic freedom. The gens after them had less and less freedom and opportunity. The money system is not honest either so paper money is becoming pretty worthless now. I'm talking about life in the US.

 

[Weems]

My memory.

 

[not_a_robot]

SOCIETY.

You need to have sex at least once before u die lol! It's pretty amazing

Joe, he's exaggerating, it's highly overrated.

society

Aww, jinx!

society

Aww, jinx!

Terrible ibs that involves cramping gas that makes me look 9 months pregnant and bathroom urgency. I could live if it was healed been dealing with it for a year and a half. I believe in Gods paganism if I give everything for a two months and pray to be healed should I put off death. I haven't been praying regularly because of depression. Should I try to live?

I had those symptoms and it was an intestinal parasite, yikes! They are not all that difficult to catch. There is a terrible deficit of detecting and treating parasitic illness in developed countries because we think we're too pristine to get "icky" diseases. We get them plenty, we just never treat them, and they escalate into "chronic ailments" and "mysterious incurable autoimmune disorders". Over time a high parasitic load blocks lymphatic and immune function, causing all kinds of weird symptoms.

CDC warns of common parasites plaguing millions in U.S.

The CDC says Americans are at risk for acquiring illnesses associated with these creepy microscopic organisms

www.cbsnews.com

You can ask your doctor, who will be totally ignorant of the problem and just shut you down and try to make you feel stupid, or you can just research treatments yourself and buy them at the petstore, for 1/10 of what your doc would charge for a human prescription.
Treatment was easy and cheap. All better.
Can't hurt, might help. If you're gonna kill yourself anyway, what have you got to lose?

Good luck either way.

 

[jake3d]

Nah, sex is great indeed, i would be happy to die while having sex.

 

[JoeFailure]

You need to have sex at least once before u die lol! It's pretty amazing don't give up yet u are still young. You're not a failure it's much more complicated these days for a variety of reasons. The boomer generation was the last to be able to have nice lives because there was a lot more economic freedom. The gens after them had less and less freedom and opportunity. The money system is not honest either so paper money is becoming pretty worthless now. I'm talking about life in the US.

I appreciate that but there isn't anyone I know in their 30's, or even their 20's that is in my situation. I'm so incredibly far behind with career/financials that it's almost literally impossible for me now.

And the sex thing...I don't even know what would happen if I tried.

It's all just so overwhelming. I wish the financial part could at least be hopeful, and then maybe some of the other dominoes could fall in place.

 

[Weems]

I appreciate that but there isn't anyone I know in their 30's, or even their 20's that is in my situation. I'm so incredibly far behind with career/financials that it's almost literally impossible for me now.

And the sex thing...I don't even know what would happen if I tried.

It's all just so overwhelming. I wish the financial part could at least be hopeful, and then maybe some of the other dominoes could fall in place.

Gonna try to one-up you on the failure here ^_^

About to be 30. Had a breakdown and dropped out of college somehow eight-plus years ago now. I have roommates and make about half what you do. I move people's furniture. I was supposedly a smart kid (reports exaggerated, methinks) and grew up with lots of people who are hugely successful now. Doctors, lawyers, scientists, journalists, engineers. I keep Googling them all. It's excruciating to think of what might have been.

Oh, and I even lost my better moving job after having a psychotic episode in the fall. Now I work at a joke of a company. About to quit and move in with my dad with no money, skills, friends, etc. At least it will be a break. I'm scared of dying and for my family's pain but I just don't see anything ahead of me but death.

 

[Deathmandie]

If i get my love i will live long with my love

 

[lynn14]

If I hadn't lost certain things in life, then yes. But since they are already lost and not coming back, no. There is nothing to be done, except catch the bus friend.

 

[LonelyLight]

If i were to list the things I wanted to change or fix it would break my heart even more. It can't be changed. I either deal with it or ctb. I know which one I rather do.

 

[inconsequential]

Going back in time just isn't an option, and they don't have medications for what is destroying me.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I've always secretly wanted a loving and supportive partner. Someone who I can lean and depend on. You know, someone that understands me. I don't think this would even close to fix my life but it would be nice to have someone genuinely care about me and gain a reserve of strength from them so I could attempt life myself (as opposed to crashing and burning).

Problem is I'm a completely broken mess of a human being. How am I supposed to attract somebody like that, hahaha. They sound more like a superhero than a real person, plus I'm not even sure how realistic this sounds. Then again, it is just a fantasy wish.

 

[jake3d]

"Superheros" do exist, it's a matter of spotting them. I know I had mine and didn't act at the right time.

 

[Voy]

It's not me, it's the world. I was born poor and keep getting lied to that everything will be ok. Nothing I could've done to change my life.

 

[Cee]

uncertainty/lack of control. if i could have complete control over every aspect of my life i would be very happy. unfortunately that is impossible :)

 

[AhG]

Fix things with my wife. We barely talk and that's ok, I just like knowing she's ok, it makes me happy, but it'd make me even happier if we could stay together.

 

[JoeFailure]

Going back in time just isn't an option, and they don't have medications for what is destroying me.

Do you want to elaborate? No worries if you don't, just asking if you want to talk about it.

 

[inconsequential]

Do you want to elaborate? No worries if you don't, just asking if you want to talk about it.

Maybe later. I am easily identifiable via my mixture of medical problems and mental health issues. Thank you, though.

 

[kolski]

In ways I would want to change everything; my entire life has just been a series of mistakes and misdoings. I've felt more pain then happiness. I would want to be more confident and not scared of failure all the time. To be happy rather then crippled with depression. To have not taken a razor blade to my wrists. I can't change what I've done though.

 

[Vegrau]

Rather than something I want to fix. More like something I need. Money lots of it. A million dollar is suffice. So I can start helping the people the way I want to. I have nothing I want to fix about myself.

 

[Rukia]

1. mistakes in the past, especially spending a lot of money from inheritance, losing job, throwing/giving stuff away for different reasons like being a Christian, I was going to die anyway so on...
2. chronic illness
3. weight
4. career or rather lack of
5. college education

 

[Person]

I want to look the same way I looked in my early 20s. I want to be a millionaire or a billionaire with no physical or mental health problems. And I want to never age, physically. Basically I want to be like a millionaire or billionaire vampire. And no, I don't want the money to just buy stupid shit. But to explore the world, acquire more and more knowledge and help people.



Mourge?

He was killed in a bike accident last month