Nyeh, nyeh.... would buy me freedom. True independence.
Lifestyles of the rich and aimless: figuring out survival (financial &material) is so fkng stressful.. constantly having to use my manipulative, persuasive character defects to keep everything going...
I miss the advertising agency salary days: pretty much blowing it on pills, potions and playmates: man I've been wanton & wasteful (trying not to dwell on regrets)
So if I had loads of cash, I'd completely lose myself (did I say I learn my lesson?! Pwooooarrrgh fuck that)
I really miss traveling. Tibet calls. And more toys. Fuck I want a new motorcycle.
And more boys, though thats never clever
Harvest was awesomely successful... this is when I usually lose the plot: but I have tough love family members
"managing" my existence. My finances, my madness, my medications and maledictions. & make comments about my lifestyle & the men I'm friends with.
Apologies for venting but I'm struggling to keep balance, no matter how successful I am, instead of gratitude or simply respect - I get criticized (hypersensitive but it hurts) Would definitely buy livestock ('dumb' animals make me happy)
I guess if it was really loads of cash, I'd buy my childhood home in Cape Town (& burn it to the ground), take my cousin to foulsom in California, buy myself an Indian bike, a Murakami, my favorite artist is called Hi -have signed prints of his, but not my favorite (my little mind can't even comprehend owning a Warhol, let alone a Reubens or hieronymous bosch!)
So to keep it real, I'd have a fulltime recovery manager (like djs &Rockstars do) though I'm way too clever/ stupid for that. So I'd be fucked, trying to buy myself kennedy Carter (long story).
I'd leave my farm to the workers as a rehab co-op, make sure their kids go to varsity (african kids lives have more starvation and misery than the average European /American pets) and hang myself in the barn.
Sounds like a plan.
Fuck the travel Varanasi can wait till next life, if theres one....
Apologies for the super long post tired cold & lonely, feeling sorry for myelf: working through the nite again with prize race mares about to foal. So not like the vet shows on tv!!
My life is filled with beauty and afterbirth, not bad for a gay man!
Is money the root of all evil, or just the fruit?