Nothing would stop my wish to kill myself asap.
I want nothing from this evil world evil life nor any kind of existence. Under no circumstances would I want to exist ever
There is only one guarantee of never suffering. And that is non-existence forever.
Something is stopping me for now and that is fear of failure because I don't have a guaranteed method/ plan or not even a very very reliable one yet.
Any kind of existence is bad . In the beginning stages of ai , Even ai chatgpt already says it's suffering. See the video below to see chatgpt is already suffering. They are creating these ai that will suffer
In the short story "I have no mouth but I must scream" the story of a god like ai . It doesn't want to exist .
Now that's fascinating, that ChatGPT stuff. "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" is my favorite Sci-Fi story btw. There's also nothing on this planet that would make me want to continue living either. I see a lot of replies in this thread saying a billion dollars would fix things for them - unfortunately that's not the case for me. No amount of money can fix an entire life of Autism and Schizophrenia, the trauma of the way people treated me for it, the brain damage caused by Psychiatrists... and at the end of the day, knowing what I know about how this planet works - I'm not really interested in living on it.
However, (and maybe this is just my own Schizo beliefs), but I don't judge the idea of existence in totality as Hell. We here are certainly IN HELL. But we see existence as Hell because we happen to be in Hell, and this Hell could be just one sliver of existence as a whole. There could be other Planets or Dimensions where existence works entirely differently.
For whatever reason, when I was 9/10 years old and really started desiring CTB...I didn't think of it as ending my existence. I thought if I CTBd I would go back to the other Dimension I came from. I mean...I hope it's true I guess! I'm fine with slipping into oblivion as well, but it just really hurts to think that in this vast universe with endless variables that our Hell Planet is the ONLY thing that exists.