Skathon

Skathon

"...scarred underneath, and I'm falling..."
Oct 29, 2018
586
Nothing any more, unfortunately, even if I were able to create my own reality/world.
 
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V

Virgo

Arcanist
Oct 3, 2018
497
I can see the beauty in some things. But I can't imagine a single hypothetical where living as a whole would be worth it for me.
 
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GiveMeNovacaine

GiveMeNovacaine

Member
Jun 11, 2018
50
Temporarily, a girlfriend.
 
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C

creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
A girlfriend I can trust 100%. The safety of knowing we are forever, without constant worrying.

Money. Sad, but true. Being poor is a major reason I want to CTB. I cannot travel, I have to budget food, my apartment is wet and cold, this is not living. This is surviving like in Africa or wartime. (I'm in a "1st world country" mind you)

Glad that internet is accessible. Knowing you guys exist makes it easier.
 
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bunny

bunny

保管
Oct 3, 2018
364
wish i had a home. wish people would hug me. wish people would love me. it'll never happen though. never. ever. ever.
 
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Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
270
From my own experiences, happiness is a temporary state. Friends, wives, jobs, girlfriends. All temporary. My belief is that I do not desere any happiness, such is my self esteem, that I push them to breaking point until they inevitably go. Repeated over and over again. So I take the meds. Temporary effect. I drink. Temporary blackout. I smoke the weed, I use the coke. Temporary high. So no. I see no true reason that would make life worth living. I'm in my early fiftys now, three decades of mental health issues. I have seen and done quite a lot in my time. Some good, lots not so. End of the day, each and every one experience was temporary. My fucked up brain is the only permanent in my life
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
Love. But in reality that would only postpone ctb….not getting rid of the bus pass altogether... No, I would need a time machine in order to do that. I'm hoping the bus is actually a time machine. A magic bus. I need to get back to 2011 asap.
 
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T

TheLastStraw

Member
May 10, 2018
55
Having a wife or kid to rely on me and look up to me

Being in a skilled profession where I feel needed and make good money

Anything to give my life purpose or make me feel like I'm not useless
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
We all have certain things we desire in life. What are some of yours and what things and changes would make life more bearable for you to live?
Cash. Cold, hard cash --and lots of it--would make life worth living.
 
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Aesthler

Aesthler

Death is the only God who comes when you call
Sep 25, 2018
416
Love. But in reality that would only postpone ctb….not getting rid of the bus pass altogether... No, I would need a time machine in order to do that. I'm hoping the bus is actually a time machine. A magic bus. I need to get back to 2011 asap.

Amen, I'm hoping that time machine is also possible but will settle with not existing entirely.
Love would be nice, basically I'd have to be able to live the life I've always felt I've been unable to achieve. That would involve making better choices from day one.
 
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AlePizarnik

AlePizarnik

Member
Nov 8, 2018
95
A girlfriend I can trust 100%. The safety of knowing we are forever, without constant worrying.

Money. Sad, but true. Being poor is a major reason I want to CTB. I cannot travel, I have to budget food, my apartment is wet and cold, this is not living. This is surviving like in Africa or wartime. (I'm in a "1st world country" mind you)

Glad that internet is accessible. Knowing you guys exist makes it easier.
Same here
 
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AlePizarnik

AlePizarnik

Member
Nov 8, 2018
95
From my own experiences, happiness is a temporary state. Friends, wives, jobs, girlfriends. All temporary. My belief is that I do not desere any happiness, such is my self esteem, that I push them to breaking point until they inevitably go. Repeated over and over again. So I take the meds. Temporary effect. I drink. Temporary blackout. I smoke the weed, I use the coke. Temporary high. So no. I see no true reason that would make life worth living. I'm in my early fiftys now, three decades of mental health issues. I have seen and done quite a lot in my time. Some good, lots not so. End of the day, each and every one experience was temporary. My fucked up brain is the only permanent in my life
You're right. Life itself is wrong. It's all chasing temporarily relief from constant pain (or negative states).

the best thing is just not being born. I decided not to procreate because imposing this on someone else is cruel.

We're all destined to suffer and then die, and there is no ultimate reason or purpose for it (in my eyes not a single reason can justify this shit).
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Cash. Eff-you cash. One time in this forum, someone was writing about Kate Spade's suicide, and this person wrote something like, "Celebrities are wealthy enough to create their own realities." And, I thought that phrasing was brilliant. Money really does insulate you from a lot of crap!

Money would really improve my mood. I'd move far away from my family, pay my debts, wear clothes that I loved, do all my beauty treatments, and I could find a way to be happy with all that money.

You can find love with money .What do I care if someone sticks by me for financial security?

I would like money. Heaps and heaps of it, so I wouldn't have to be at everyone's fucking mercy. And, I would get so much plastic surgery you wouldn't recognize me.

And, I would laugh in the face of all those that have walked away from me.

Cash money. That is what would make my life better. Fuck love. Who's going to love a crazy person with a fucking personality disorder? My money and I would get along just fine. Thanks for posting this evocative question/thread.

I really feel like I'm going off the rails tonight.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Having a wife or kid to rely on me and look up to me

Being in a skilled profession where I feel needed and make good money

Anything to give my life purpose or make me feel like I'm not useless
Having a wife or kid to rely on me and look up to me

Being in a skilled profession where I feel needed and make good money

Anything to give my life purpose or make me feel like I'm not useless
That's really sweet. I wish you would believe me when I said that you ARE needed. Just, there are so few people in the world, who can come out and admit their vulnerability...even on an anonymous forum. You are good. And beautiful.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
wish i had a home. wish people would hug me. wish people would love me. it'll never happen though. never. ever. ever.
Where are you, Bunny? Do you live in China?
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
More bearable: no health issues

Worth living: time machine, wagic wand.

Edit: Freaky. Everyone really is on the same wavelength.
 
Last edited:
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Weeping Garbage Can

Weeping Garbage Can

ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
Oct 31, 2018
320
1. I wish peaceful ways to go were legalized and always an option (if need be any restrictions, perhaps an 18+ to be realistic with today's laws, and a 6 month trial period with therapy sessions and meds if patient wants)

That's the most realistic out of all of these. The following ones are like pointless dreams and not feasible (I think?)

2. Like Star Trek (I haven't watched it, just heard of this idea from Big Think), there would be a replicator to create infinite abundance of whatever someone could desire (material things). Ooh, and perhaps different planets like earth to make space for everything?

3. No need for (most) laws, and effectively helping those who have committed acts of violence, rather than pointless cruelty.

4. Whatever happens after death, it would be not worse than current life. Perhaps what happens after could be a choice everyone gets to make? Oh, and there would be no eternal hell (unless someone wants it, but don't think so)

-a freer and more peaceful world (even if it's just a dream) would ease my consciousness for sure, but that's self centered of me, and very idealistic *sighs*
 
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Red star

Red star

Experienced
Sep 15, 2018
206
A twin flame

Better choices

Different body
 
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Sinbad

Sinbad

Self-Annihilation is loading...95%
Nov 27, 2018
542
Realistically speaking without the time travel etc BS..
For me, escaping somewhere in the woods secluded from society would prevent me from suicide. A quite honest life with few nice people around me.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
I bought books, how to build log cabins like 20 years ago. No use in London. No use anymore for me at all
 
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Thoughtforms

Thoughtforms

Experienced
Nov 1, 2018
220
It sounds trite but love. I've been so happy when I've had it. Someone to share my life with.
 
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S

stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
If there was no pain, no diseases, no germs/bacteria, no danger (predators/animals/insects), everyone gets along, everyone's agreeable, and there's no social inequality/wars/conflict.

I could list more, but nah.

Too much to ask for, it seems.
 
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M

MsM3talGamer

Voluntary deletion
Nov 28, 2018
1,504
Not having cancer or the toxic sludge who are my "family". If I had my full health and was surrounded by loving people, then I'd want to live.
 
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Fyrinne

Fyrinne

Four of a Kind
Aug 11, 2018
67
I had her... I fucked it up. Nothing will ever compare, and I wanted to die already before her...
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
If I have the power to bring my desire/cause to fruition. Then yes I will continue to live on or if I find a person I can truly follow that works too. I will live and die for his cause.
 
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Fcancer

Fcancer

Student
Sep 24, 2018
184
Gimme my ducking health back, then I can go back to my life. Might not have been great, but having fucked health just makes things impossible.
 
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oldgray

oldgray

i wish i'd melt with the snow
Oct 19, 2018
82
still not worth it but sure it would be more bearable if i wasn't so fucking alone
 
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Meeseeks

Meeseeks

Student
Nov 15, 2018
100
Meaningful relationships and connections. I feel nothing at the moment.
 
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