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Discussionduality of emotions toward suicide
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sometimes i love and enjoy life and sometimes i hate it so much and wanna ctb so badly. its like a week to week thing. at this point do u think its worth living more when the majority of the time you wanna die but have some good moments sometimes? what would u do in my situation?
listening to good music and seeing good art makes me wanna live, while I can see myself in 5 years from now and I still will have nothing planned out, which makes ctb a simple answer.
I feel this so unbelievably hard. I have my boyfriend and I'm passionate about what I'm studying and I have friends that I hang out with and I just flip flop so wildly from wanting to stick around for this stuff and wanting to ctb for everything else. It feels selfish but sometimes I wish I didn't have people who cared about me so the decision would be easier. I'm sorry I don't have any advice.
It's understandable. I have a few minutes throughout the day where I feel normal, but then it comes washing back. Slightly nervous about the situation at hand but, unfortunately, it's the most soothing option.
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