what will you miss? how do you cope with knowing you're leaving it?

[Merlay]

I miss going to school where I've always felt welcome and acceptable. Even though I'm tired of stressing myself out just to pass exams that I still fail all the time, even though I'm tired of going to school and sit there with anxiety; I miss studying.

Even if I was aware in the answer keys sent in our group chats, and chose to rely in my own knowledge instead, I still fail. I guess my friends there think that I'm not desperate enough to pass just because I want to play it fair. But no matter how much I strive for fairness, it's just futile. I stopped attending some of my classes. In those times, I just stroll around Manila And the more I walk away, the more I see what's so wrong in this reality.

Music, movies, family, friends, the rain, the moon, the starry night—there are so much I'm going to miss and I am willing to abandon them. I am willing to surrender everything.

 

[demuic]

The way I see it, I won't have the ability to miss anything, as I'll be dead. There will be no more me to miss anything.

There's already so much I can't experience right now, and likely never will again.

 

[MYTHoLogic]

Music. Listening to music over the last couple of days has changed for me. Knowing that when I do CTB I'll never be able to listen to Grimes again. It's become more emotional, I can hear and feel the music on a deeper level than I was able to before. Instead of just "hearing" the music I'm listening to it. Surrounding my awareness around the music like a hug. Knowing that one day I'll have to say goodbye to it. That and sunsets. A good sunset can make my cry so incredibly hard.

 

[HappyFlowerofLOVE]

well i know that i just respawn