Discussion What will you do if you end up never committing suicide?

[itsgone2]

Yes I am very scared. My anxiety is bad and I suffer from severe depression, which also affects your heart. I think I will drop dead any minute every day. It's a horrible way to live which is why I prefer to ctb now and get it over with but the paradox stopping me is my fear of dying. It's such a mind fuck I can't take it.

I have similar concerns. Insomnia paired with constant anxiety and severe depression. No one's heart can take that forever.
I don't care about dying though. I'm a coward is all, wishing desperately there would be an easy way.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

Just keep going as I am right now I guess (studying to be a nurse)

 

[zoidberg]

Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh

Yes, that's really it in a nutshell. Doing the 'i'm going to ctb' thing in one's head leads to a never ending fantasy where your decisions and outcomes don't matter because you won't be around to have to deal with it. Hard to imagine a worse way to run one's life than continually thinking your actions are utterly futile because you won't be around to experience the result.

 

[cursedlife]

probably begging for food and dying from malnutrition because i have treatment resistant schizophrenia and can't work

 

[Forever27]

Lead a happy life with my parter and real friends, because due to some miracle I've found both and don't want to ctb anymore. I can't imagine myself living the same year for another year

 

[LongJacks]

Age, feel less, more bad luck and obstacles and most likely end up homeless at the end

 

[Climber]

Partake in increasingly dangerous activities alone until an accident happens. Hike remote areas, climb mountains, backpack overseas, sailboat ocean traversal, my most extreme option is probably pilots license and dump all savings on a shitty plane, would be fun to try and cross the ocean on a plane alone.

 

[ih34rty0u]

probably work one of the lowest paid jobs and die early from some disease or heart issues

 

[FoxSauce]

Live my life? Prob get better? Or just live in a state of limbo for as long as I draw breath. Or an accident? I dunno

Im trying to enjoy life is just really hard.

 

[wakeawake]

It's scary to have health issues like that creep up. I'm of the same mind. At any point, if my health starts to falter, I'm done.

Yes indeed it REALLY is... and I am there now.

I'm in mid 40s and have had a bunch of stuff go very wrong in a very short period of time.

Stuff with collapsed vertebrae and related spine problems making everything painful and difficult.

So now being at this crossroads like you said about, I'm of the same mind.

But guess what it's a lot harder than I thought to go through with it once here - but stuff in my future is only looking worse as this progresses.

Anyway I know the sense you mean, it just is very unpleasant trying to live with something like that when it really expectedly does actually happen. And facing the idea of actually really truly doing something about it, its odd and harder than I wish.

 

[Steve Vermont]

Die anyway.

 

[Lambybahhhhhh]

Continue to think about committing suicide

 

[Off_Switch]

Statistically speaking, that would pretty much be every single one of us here. Because only about 9 out 100,000 deaths worldwide every year are from suicide.

This figure suggests that most of here will begrudgingly suffer, until we die by a means other than killing ourselves. Coming back here, year after year, inquiry ng about methods that we know damn well that we'll never have the audacity to follow through with.

 

[tiramisu]

if i don't die by suicide, then i'll die from my anorexia or something else.

 

[zipzamoly1]

Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh

Same


I have to do it. I just have to make sure everything is in preparation.

Statistically speaking, that would pretty much be every single one of us here. Because only about 9 out 100,000 deaths worldwide every year are from suicide.

This figure suggests that most of here will begrudgingly suffer, until we die by a means other than killing ourselves. Coming back here, year after year, inquiry ng about methods that we know damn well that we'll never have the audacity to follow through with.

We all pussies at heart

 

[ant03]

I will end up as a 30 yo kissless virging and probably either unemployed or stuck on low paying jobs.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

Live my life? Prob get better? Or just live in a state of limbo for as long as I draw breath. Or an accident? I dunno

Im trying to enjoy life is just really hard.

Limbo is the worst.

 

[100memoryleaks]

if getting opioids without prescription wasn't hella illegal AND I wasn't scared of getting my parents in trouble (since I live with them) I would be high 24/7 until eventually passing from liver damage or an accidental OD

 

[Cyaneed]

Alzheimer's and various forms of cancer etc. runs on both sides of my family. Almost everyone has died from it, I don't want to go like that. A close family member with dementia had a kind of clear moment in the end and CTB'd. I want to leave on my own terms too, can't imagine dying slowly and in fear or in excruciating pain. Can't imagine dying of so called natural causes.

 

[SouzaBr]

I gave up academy, my job and planned to die in june, well... i'm still alive and it sucks.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Be strung out on drugs probably

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

A) Starving/freezing to death on the streets

B)Being murdered on the streets, but before that, probably becoming a victim of unspeakable things (seriously, I don't wanna know what happens to homeless women)

C)Find a wife? Not like anybody wants me lol

D)Locked up/put in camp by the next fascist government

E)Die to world war 3 and/or the climate, just like everyone else on this shitty planet


In other words: I HAVE TO CTB. Failure is no option.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

Either I get better, which I very much doubt, or I just wait around in this pathetic state for a natural death.

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

Just a thought, but hopefully if I fail an attempt bad enough then I'd be qualified for euthanasia?

 

[Manfrotto99]

Loosing a home and being on the street
Starving and freezing
Having no protection, proberbly getting raped and beaten
Seeing my abusers gloat and laugh at me
Loosing all dignity and quality of life - not that I have any now anyway

Ie, ctb is my saving grace - I have no option

 

[Bitter Almonds]

Statistically speaking, that would pretty much be every single one of us here. Because only about 9 out 100,000 deaths worldwide every year are from suicide.

This figure suggests that most of here will begrudgingly suffer, until we die by a means other than killing ourselves. Coming back here, year after year, inquiry ng about methods that we know damn well that we'll never have the audacity to follow through with.

Statistically speaking that's not really how statistics works. you know "one in every five people is gay" doesn't mean you're going to land on a gay person every time you count to 5.

9/100000 means all 9 can come from here, and again, and again.