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I

itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,916
Yes I am very scared. My anxiety is bad and I suffer from severe depression, which also affects your heart. I think I will drop dead any minute every day. It's a horrible way to live which is why I prefer to ctb now and get it over with but the paradox stopping me is my fear of dying. It's such a mind fuck I can't take it.
I have similar concerns. Insomnia paired with constant anxiety and severe depression. No one's heart can take that forever.
I don't care about dying though. I'm a coward is all, wishing desperately there would be an easy way.
 
buriedinmyhead

buriedinmyhead

If pain can purify the heart, mine will be pure
Mar 24, 2026
181
I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.
Just keep going as I am right now I guess (studying to be a nurse)
 
Z

zoidberg

Member
May 19, 2026
12
Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh
Yes, that's really it in a nutshell. Doing the 'i'm going to ctb' thing in one's head leads to a never ending fantasy where your decisions and outcomes don't matter because you won't be around to have to deal with it. Hard to imagine a worse way to run one's life than continually thinking your actions are utterly futile because you won't be around to experience the result.
 
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C

cursedlife

Student
Jun 28, 2024
168
probably begging for food and dying from malnutrition because i have treatment resistant schizophrenia and can't work
 
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F

Forever27

Member
Sep 21, 2020
34
Lead a happy life with my parter and real friends, because due to some miracle I've found both and don't want to ctb anymore. I can't imagine myself living the same year for another year
 
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L

LongJacks

Student
Feb 17, 2026
161
Age, feel less, more bad luck and obstacles and most likely end up homeless at the end
 
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Climber

Climber

“One day, I am gonna grow wings”
Jun 26, 2026
26
Partake in increasingly dangerous activities alone until an accident happens. Hike remote areas, climb mountains, backpack overseas, sailboat ocean traversal, my most extreme option is probably pilots license and dump all savings on a shitty plane, would be fun to try and cross the ocean on a plane alone.
 
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ih34rty0u

ih34rty0u

.
Apr 16, 2024
140
probably work one of the lowest paid jobs and die early from some disease or heart issues
 
FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotionally unstable like an IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
1,405
Live my life? Prob get better? Or just live in a state of limbo for as long as I draw breath. Or an accident? I dunno

Im trying to enjoy life is just really hard.
 
W

wakeawake

Member
Jun 18, 2026
37
It's scary to have health issues like that creep up. I'm of the same mind. At any point, if my health starts to falter, I'm done.
Yes indeed it REALLY is... and I am there now.

I'm in mid 40s and have had a bunch of stuff go very wrong in a very short period of time.

Stuff with collapsed vertebrae and related spine problems making everything painful and difficult.

So now being at this crossroads like you said about, I'm of the same mind.

But guess what it's a lot harder than I thought to go through with it once here - but stuff in my future is only looking worse as this progresses.

Anyway I know the sense you mean, it just is very unpleasant trying to live with something like that when it really expectedly does actually happen. And facing the idea of actually really truly doing something about it, its odd and harder than I wish.
 
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Lambybahhhhhh

Lambybahhhhhh

One day, I am gonna grow wings
Jan 8, 2025
80
Continue to think about committing suicide
Kitty Cute Cat GIF
 
Off_Switch

Off_Switch

Experienced
Aug 15, 2025
291
Statistically speaking, that would pretty much be every single one of us here. Because only about 9 out 100,000 deaths worldwide every year are from suicide.

This figure suggests that most of here will begrudgingly suffer, until we die by a means other than killing ourselves. Coming back here, year after year, inquiry ng about methods that we know damn well that we'll never have the audacity to follow through with.
 
Last edited:
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tiramisu

tiramisu

meow
Jun 1, 2026
30
if i don't die by suicide, then i'll die from my anorexia or something else.
 
zipzamoly1

zipzamoly1

Zippoly
Jan 12, 2026
30
Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh

Same 😭


I have to do it. I just have to make sure everything is in preparation.
Statistically speaking, that would pretty much be every single one of us here. Because only about 9 out 100,000 deaths worldwide every year are from suicide.

This figure suggests that most of here will begrudgingly suffer, until we die by a means other than killing ourselves. Coming back here, year after year, inquiry ng about methods that we know damn well that we'll never have the audacity to follow through with.
We all pussies at heart ❤️
 
Last edited:
A

ant03

New Member
Jun 29, 2026
4
I will end up as a 30 yo kissless virging and probably either unemployed or stuck on low paying jobs.
 

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