Having my first actual birthday party when I turned 19. I had "birthday parties" when I was a kid but no one I knew usually came. It was more of an excuse for my siblings and parents to have a party and invite the people they knew. Eventually I asked if I could stop having them, and I didn't celebrate the date of my birth past the 3rd grade. It was always sad on my b-day, but I was ok with it. It felt worse when I was having "parties". But when I turned 18, I found myself in a relationship at the time with someone I would describe only as an angel. My birthday was coming up, and she wanted to throw something for me at her apartment. I was a bit hesitant, I didn't want her to get disappointed planning for something which no one would probably come for. I didn't stop her though, seeing someone plan something for me with only my happiness in mind truly melted my heart. I was of course still worried that she'd suffer from disappointment, the same disappointment I felt as a kid, but on the day of my party, people actually came. My friends actually came over, even the ones who said they'd be busy. We ate pizza, played smash and other games on our switches, and watched a movie. I was happy. I wonder about the people who experience that every other day, how happy they must be. I haven't spoke to her in almost 5 years, and most of the "friends" from that day have left. Only one person who went to my birthday party that day is even still in my life. I wonder how her and my friends view that day. I wonder if she knows how much that day means to me, and how much it meant to me that someone would put even 1% of the effort to try to celebrate my b-day. I hope she doesn't regret it.