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What was your method before joining SS?
Thread starterSuicidalSymphonies
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I think I was just going to OD on a bunch of my meds or do what I did at 16.
Avoid insulin, eat candy, puke my guts up til I die. Not pretty, but effective.
I also tried to jump off an overpass in 2017, but felt the body of my cat who had passed a couple of years before rub and curl around my leg. Tried to convince myself someone else was on the bridge and possibly brushed me. There was nobody there. Felt just like a cat. Dropped to my knees in the fetal position and cried until someone (a friend) came to pick me up.
Anyway, after coming to SS, I realised there were more peaceful methods. I'll be using SN. I'd have preferred N, but I'm a 22 year old on assistance and can't afford that.
I thought I was gonna use helium and a plastic bag but after being on this forum I realized that it probably wouldn't have even worked since the tank I wanted was mixed with oxygen. Now it's SN because even prior to the helium method I wished I could just eat some pills or whatever and die but I knew that the meds that are available to me wouldn't be strong enough. I'm really glad I found SN, without this forum I probably wouldn't have ever found this method. Of course I wish I could get N but that's just impossible for me
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Living_Hurts_so_Much and SuicidalSymphonies
When I first had serious suicidal ideations around 8th grade, I saw a post on tumblr about how to kill yourself by forcing yourself to vomit for like an hour. My plan was to do it around New Year's when no one would be home. Apparently after you vomited enough, you'd just puke out your organs and die.
In retrospect it was real stupid, idk why I believed it lol. But after that i didn't think about it seriously til I got to senior year of high school and found the SS subreddit.
I was thinking of hanging before I found this forum. Long before that I thought I can cut my femoral artery, but it was hard to find it and... Well, let me get this straight : I don't have balls to do it))
"How" has always been my hurdle. I've tried a few ways (pills+alcohol, cut wrists, hanging.) I've considered a few more (a more solid hanging attempt, since I saw firsthand that it would be successful and more peaceful than I thought, without outside interference...considered a big ass pistol that would be almost a sure-shot instant death, etc.) What always stopped me is the fact that my family likes to say goodbye with an open casket, as trivial as that sounds. I wanted to give them that. Now that I'm here, I too have joyfully embraced the SN option. In my situation, its the best possible option by far. I keep alternating between sad and ecstatic as I contemplate actually using it, but every day the scale tips more toward ecstasy and away from sadness. I first found SN in this forum even before I joined, and I'm so glad.
I almost ordered N from a fake seller. Luckily I learned from SS on time that obtaining N is not as easy as it would seem when you just type it in your webbrowser using Bing. Well, that's not going to be an option.
Now the plan is to go with SN, but it's hard to obtain in Western Europe.
12 Gauge hollowpoint shotgun to the roof of the mouth, but I found this website after looking for something less.. messy. Decided I wanted to stay in one piece after all. Having trouble deciding from partial hanging or N.
Jumping but it is barely accessible here. I can remember we've done an official tour during my stay at the psychiatry one time. We went on a top of a very high church. Prior I thought about jumping from this building. Psychiatry stuff was with us at this trip. I can clearly remember I was very disappointed on the top. We were like in a security cage. Absolutely impossible to jump from. Fuck this why to they want us to throw ourselves in front of trains.
Then I thought about partial hanging. WIth this method I rather damage myself I don't have the skills.
Now it's SN and I am pretty fine with it. But it should be legal in my country.
I always kind of liked the idea of taking some sort of substance the best, like some kind of pill. I was so naive when I was younger thinking that pretty much anything for example perfume could kill someone. Now I know that many have had failed attempts and it is easier said than done.
I always kind of liked the idea of taking some sort of substance the best, like some kind of pill. I was so naive when I was younger thinking that pretty much anything for example perfume could kill someone. Now I know that many have had failed attempts and it is easier said than done.
I'm not sure if it would've worked but I was thinking of lightning a grill or something similar in a closed up room with no ventilation to die from CO2 poisoning.
That or a gun in the mouth though I don't think I'm brave enough to do it.
Now it's SN
I used to think I could OD on anything when I was younger, then I tried and realized that was extremely dumb.
Then I thought hanging would work but only had the means to partial- didn't work.
Then I spent a long time considering biting the pain and gaining the courage to do it through blood loss.
But now that I'm here SN is infinitely less painful from what I've read.
I was going to try to overdose on tricyclic antidepressants, but didn't have a prescription. Was going to try to use car exhaust before realizing that modern cars don't kill like that... then was going to try to lay across the train tracks.
If I had had N when I was thinking about that I would be dead already... now it is there and somewhat comforting
I discovered SS in mid 2019, but only joined very recently. I didn't have a definitive method but I liked the idea of the night-night method, but since that's an SS method does it count? Before I knew SS existed I wanted to drink bleach.
Before- OD'ing on heroin or fentanyl. I was also researching process for buying a gun.
After- Since finding SS (about 5 months ago) I've decided on spending my last days alone in nature. I'd like to take N, but am also debating trying to make it look like an accident through carbon monoxide poisoning.
I'm at the ideation/planing stages. I didn't want to take N compulsively one night drunk or something and thought it was best to not have it in the house until all planing is done.
Edit: SS has made me aware of the dangers of failed attempts and has made me feel less scared of potential methods I've chosen by reading first hand accounts, and for that I'm very thankful.
I think I was just going to OD on a bunch of my meds or do what I did at 16.
Avoid insulin, eat candy, puke my guts up til I die. Not pretty, but effective.
I also tried to jump off an overpass in 2017, but felt the body of my cat who had passed a couple of years before rub and curl around my leg. Tried to convince myself someone else was on the bridge and possibly brushed me. There was nobody there. Felt just like a cat. Dropped to my knees in the fetal position and cried until someone (a friend) came to pick me up.
Anyway, after coming to SS, I realised there were more peaceful methods. I'll be using SN. I'd have preferred N, but I'm a 22 year old on assistance and can't afford that.
I couldn't find many resources, so my original method was gonna be just. stabbing myself in the arteries in my thighs, dying via bleeding out.
Of course, that would be painful as hell. Currently, the method I want to go with is the night-night method, but bleeding out is still my second option
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