What the hell just happened to me?

[Sleeper System]

I just took a deep breath and when I exhaled... I felt all the will I had to live just disappear.
I felt like my entire chest was completely empty and hollow. It almost hurt. I have never felt this feeling before.
I think im getting closer to the point where I can no long find comfort in anything. Not even breathing.


I always told myself that If I could live to 30 that it would be enough.
I always had this feeling in my heart that I would die before I turned 30.
Im now 33 and feel like im not supossed to be here. It's so painful.
I don't know what just happened but i feel really sick to my stomach now.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

At the age of 44, I can tell you that it doesn't get any better unfortunately. The will to live just keeps getting chopped down more and more evey year.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I find no comfort in anything except thoughts of dying.
I'm 43 in a few days time and have zero intention of reaching 44.
I know that feeling of knowing you are not supposed to be here and the horror of being stuck in human existence.
It's a waking nightmare to be sure.