What should I do on my last day?

[a-fond-farewell]

i'm not 100% committed with this date, but July 19 is seeming very appealing to me. i've been contemplating existence a lot. trying to accept the prospect of eternal oblivion.

even though I don't feel alive most of the time and life just is basically a TV show, the fear still appears. doubt and self-preservation kicks in. although, I technically could force myself to do it, I wouldn't want to do it if it doesn't feel right that day. I want it to feel right. I want to make my possible last days meaningful to me. I want them to feel complete, just to me, just for me. one thing that's helped is acknowledging that death is just a natural biological process. that it's essential for other life to sustain itself. we all have our turn, and I'm just passing it on to the next player so to speak. I'm trying to view it from a more external perspective. rather than "my self will be annihilated" (which is likely true), I'm viewing my life as one of many passing cars. no interference, no bias. just neutrality and acceptance. acknowledging that these fears are the very reason why I exist at all, for if I hadn't been programmed with them from the beginning, the human race as a whole wouldn't be alive. I'm trying to view impermanence as inevitable and embracing the fact that it is. that all things must pass.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life just contemplating existence, however. I want to be able to enjoy things, knowing that my time is limited, but using that instead to make it more meaningful. so that said, I'm looking for recommendations on how y'all think I can make my final days special. i'm going to hang out with an old friend of mine of elementary school. i'll go outdoors. but besides that, I'm kind of clueless. I want to avoid cramming in things and doing them just for the sake of doing them. it has to be special, it has to be purposeful.

if anyone can help reassure me with my path or give me some ideas on what I should do these possibly final days, I will be profoundly appreciative. thx <3

 

[playalistic]

i'm not 100% committed with this date, but July 19 is seeming very appealing to me. i've been contemplating existence a lot. trying to accept the prospect of eternal oblivion.

even though I don't feel alive most of the time and life just is basically a TV show, the fear still appears. doubt and self-preservation kicks in. although, I technically could force myself to do it, I wouldn't want to do it if it doesn't feel right that day. I want it to feel right. I want to make my possible last days meaningful to me. I want them to feel complete, just to me, just for me. one thing that's helped is acknowledging that death is just a natural biological process. that it's essential for other life to sustain itself. we all have our turn, and I'm just passing it on to the next player so to speak. I'm trying to view it from a more external perspective. rather than "my self will be annihilated" (which is likely true), I'm viewing my life as one of many passing cars. no interference, no bias. just neutrality and acceptance. acknowledging that these fears are the very reason why I exist at all, for if I hadn't been programmed with them from the beginning, the human race as a whole wouldn't be alive. I'm trying to view impermanence as inevitable and embracing the fact that it is. that all things must pass.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life just contemplating existence, however. I want to be able to enjoy things, knowing that my time is limited, but using that instead to make it more meaningful. so that said, I'm looking for recommendations on how y'all think I can make my final days special. i'm going to hang out with an old friend of mine of elementary school. i'll go outdoors. but besides that, I'm kind of clueless. I want to avoid cramming in things and doing them just for the sake of doing them. it has to be special, it has to be purposeful.

if anyone can help reassure me with my path or give me some ideas on what I should do these possibly final days, I will be profoundly appreciative. thx <3

Ngl ive been looking forward to my last meal. I'll just be eating my favorite sentimental comfort foods. I'm gonna get some good chinese takeout, a payday bar & a root beer. Orange chicken & rangoons & my favorite snacks would make me feel really complete & satisified & happy before I go

I will definitely see everyone I need to see one last time before I go, but I don't think that will be on the same day I go. The day I die I want to spend alone, I want to just be by myself and sit in deep thought without distractions knowing & processing that it will be my last day.

I'll definitely listen to a lot of music that has been the most sentimental to me/has had the most profound impact on my life. There is a whole playlist I could make. Music is one of the biggest parts of my life

Maybe I'll do some journaling to document my last thoughts. I'll prepare to send some last texts where needed

I just want to spend my last day in acceptance & comfort, to relish in my favorite experiences 1 last time.

 

[a-fond-farewell]

Ngl ive been looking forward to my last meal. I'll just be eating my favorite sentimental comfort foods. I'm gonna get some good chinese takeout, a payday bar & a root beer. Orange chicken & rangoons & my favorite snacks would make me feel really complete & satisified & happy before I go

I will definitely see everyone I need to see one last time before I go, but I don't think that will be on the same day I go. The day I die I want to spend alone, I want to just be by myself and sit in deep thought without distractions knowing & processing that it will be my last day.

I'll definitely listen to a lot of music that has been the most sentimental to me/has had the most profound impact on my life. There is a whole playlist I could make. Music is one of the biggest parts of my life

Maybe I'll do some journaling to document my last thoughts. I'll prepare to send some last texts where needed

I just want to spend my last day in acceptance & comfort, to relish in my favorite experiences 1 last time.

honestly, I respect that a lot. I never thought about my last meal / comfort foods, but now that I think about it, that's something I'd definitely want to make special. and yeah, music has had the biggest impact on my life. making a playlist is also a good idea!

 

[eupdplishlp]

i'm not 100% committed with this date, but July 19 is seeming very appealing to me. i've been contemplating existence a lot. trying to accept the prospect of eternal oblivion.

even though I don't feel alive most of the time and life just is basically a TV show, the fear still appears. doubt and self-preservation kicks in. although, I technically could force myself to do it, I wouldn't want to do it if it doesn't feel right that day. I want it to feel right. I want to make my possible last days meaningful to me. I want them to feel complete, just to me, just for me. one thing that's helped is acknowledging that death is just a natural biological process. that it's essential for other life to sustain itself. we all have our turn, and I'm just passing it on to the next player so to speak. I'm trying to view it from a more external perspective. rather than "my self will be annihilated" (which is likely true), I'm viewing my life as one of many passing cars. no interference, no bias. just neutrality and acceptance. acknowledging that these fears are the very reason why I exist at all, for if I hadn't been programmed with them from the beginning, the human race as a whole wouldn't be alive. I'm trying to view impermanence as inevitable and embracing the fact that it is. that all things must pass.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life just contemplating existence, however. I want to be able to enjoy things, knowing that my time is limited, but using that instead to make it more meaningful. so that said, I'm looking for recommendations on how y'all think I can make my final days special. i'm going to hang out with an old friend of mine of elementary school. i'll go outdoors. but besides that, I'm kind of clueless. I want to avoid cramming in things and doing them just for the sake of doing them. it has to be special, it has to be purposeful.

if anyone can help reassure me with my path or give me some ideas on what I should do these possibly final days, I will be profoundly appreciative. thx <3

somthing to get in touch with your child like self. if there's an age you can remeber being happy as a child that is. I red that as an adult, all we are ever trying to do is get back in touch with our inner child. childlike wonder, magic and joy of the world before it got crushed. it says apparently whoever we are as a happy child is who we are at heart.

 

[mlb]

i'm not 100% committed with this date, but July 19 is seeming very appealing to me. i've been contemplating existence a lot. trying to accept the prospect of eternal oblivion.

even though I don't feel alive most of the time and life just is basically a TV show, the fear still appears. doubt and self-preservation kicks in. although, I technically could force myself to do it, I wouldn't want to do it if it doesn't feel right that day. I want it to feel right. I want to make my possible last days meaningful to me. I want them to feel complete, just to me, just for me. one thing that's helped is acknowledging that death is just a natural biological process. that it's essential for other life to sustain itself. we all have our turn, and I'm just passing it on to the next player so to speak. I'm trying to view it from a more external perspective. rather than "my self will be annihilated" (which is likely true), I'm viewing my life as one of many passing cars. no interference, no bias. just neutrality and acceptance. acknowledging that these fears are the very reason why I exist at all, for if I hadn't been programmed with them from the beginning, the human race as a whole wouldn't be alive. I'm trying to view impermanence as inevitable and embracing the fact that it is. that all things must pass.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life just contemplating existence, however. I want to be able to enjoy things, knowing that my time is limited, but using that instead to make it more meaningful. so that said, I'm looking for recommendations on how y'all think I can make my final days special. i'm going to hang out with an old friend of mine of elementary school. i'll go outdoors. but besides that, I'm kind of clueless. I want to avoid cramming in things and doing them just for the sake of doing them. it has to be special, it has to be purposeful.

if anyone can help reassure me with my path or give me some ideas on what I should do these possibly final days, I will be profoundly appreciative. thx <3

re-read your favorite book (or a chunk of it), listen to your favorite albums, watch your favorite films, revisit your fond memories! have some succulent meals while you're at it - what is a food that you would like to try?

 

[auniqueusername!]

Go on a late night walk while listening to music till your feet get tired. That's what I always imagine doing before I CTB.

 

[a-fond-farewell]

re-read your favorite book (or a chunk of it), listen to your favorite albums, watch your favorite films, revisit your fond memories! have some succulent meals while you're at it - what is a food that you would like to try?

honestly, just probably some basic snacks. apple sauce, skittles, and so on. i hate how i've been so excited for tomorrow this whole week, but now I'm feeling very anxious. any advice on how to get over that?

 

[mlb]

honestly, just probably some basic snacks. apple sauce, skittles, and so on. i hate how i've been so excited for tomorrow this whole week, but now I'm feeling very anxious. any advice on how to get over that?

anxiousness is totally normal because i know how overwhelming it can get. i had to just push through and get out there while i had the energy and i ended up in an environment where i felt comfortable right before my ctb attempt.

one thing is, if something is holding you back, do you value it a lot now? do you think you'll miss it? you mentioned that you're not 100% sure with the date but i'm assuming you still have the capability to proceed if you desire to anytime soon. does it feel right if today is your last day? if not, maybe give it some thought and finish the things that you wanted to do and see how you're feeling in a few weeks.

 

[a-fond-farewell]

anxiousness is totally normal because i know how overwhelming it can get. i had to just push through and get out there while i had the energy and i ended up in an environment where i felt comfortable right before my ctb attempt.

one thing is, if something is holding you back, do you value it a lot now? do you think you'll miss it? you mentioned that you're not 100% sure with the date but i'm assuming you still have the capability to proceed if you desire to anytime soon. does it feel right if today is your last day? if not, maybe give it some thought and finish the things that you wanted to do and see how you're feeling in a few weeks.

i like that idea. even though I hate the idea of getting older and that adds urgency to this particular date, when I'm dead, I'm gonna be gone forever anyways, so that changes a lot of things. like I woke up at the wrong time today. I wanted to wake up with the sunrise on my last day. I wanted to go for a morning walk, this and that. if I did it now, it would be unsatisfying and scary. it wouldn't be the release that i need. but part of the urgency is I want to make sure I die on the 19th of any given month. the idea of waiting another month is scary. idk what to do really.

 

[kopebaldy]

Ideally, nothing.

Get a good sleep, wake up, put your head in the noose, say hi to the weird scythe wielding dude standing in the corner.

The more stuff you do the harder it is to let go.

 

[theboy]

Make a list
Any tattoos? Want to eat your favorite food? Go out to a party? Play video games?
It's your personal list and I hope you can enjoy it to the fullest:)

 

[a-fond-farewell]

Make a list
Any tattoos? Want to eat your favorite food? Go out to a party? Play video games?
It's your personal list and I hope you can enjoy it to the fullest:)

thanks for the suggestion. I do think it's important that i enjoy it to the fullest, so I had to call it off today. SI was also really strong next to the railroad tracks. i'll be planning for my last day to be really meaningful. to be complete and ready.

 

[mlb]

thanks for the suggestion. I do think it's important that i enjoy it to the fullest, so I had to call it off today. SI was also really strong next to the railroad tracks. i'll be planning for my last day to be really meaningful. to be complete and ready.

so happy to hear from you! seems like yesterday wasn't the right place and time. relax and have some good time now :)