I’vehadenough
Elementalist
- Sep 15, 2018
- 847
As miserable as my life is, I still fear death
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The fear of being alive in the next few years instead
exactly. there's an expectation that one should endure suffering if they're faced with it. why? I think because as long as we're not the ones suffering we do not care. Now that I'm the one suffering I cannot bare it. Before I was suffering I prayed for those suffering but did little else and didn't think much about them. I thought they were built to endure suffering in some way and I was exempt from it. Nope.a life. work. loneliness. old age. diseases. misanthropy.
nobody will care about me.
indifferent Universe.
contempt for life. the inevitability of suffering and death. the realization that i'm neither the first nor the last who commit suicide and die
human is a biologically programmed animal that will always be afraid of death. but my fear of life is stronger than my fear of death!If you are still very fearful I would say that perhaps it is not your time yet, it is something to ponder, I think.
Couldn't say it better.Release from tedium, the mundane, pain, discomfort and suffering and the prospect of lasting peaceful rest.
So it was just nothingness?I've passed out from hypoxia before. Extremely peaceful
Pretty much. It felt almost like my consciousness was underwater (if that makes sense) and all problems were a world away, thoughts weren't coherent, just a comfortable fuzzy fogSo it was just nothingness?
Even when I do enjoy those things, they aren't worth the pain of staying aliveexactly. there's an expectation that one should endure suffering if they're faced with it. why? I think because as long as we're not the ones suffering we do not care. Now that I'm the one suffering I cannot bare it. Before I was suffering I prayed for those suffering but did little else and didn't think much about them. I thought they were built to endure suffering in some way and I was exempt from it. Nope.
I am sorry you're suffering and that you want to ctb. I wish I could say something to change that. I feel like life is worth it...work, family, movies, books, food. But I can't enjoy those things because my brain is diseased along with my body. I assume you can't enjoy them either.