Discussion what keeps you guys going

[SMG08ABUSER]

The fear of death. It is permanent after all.

Also, the tiniest amount/possibility of hope that things can get better. I wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Also, it would really suck ass to not eat good food like steak, mexican, chinese, and korean food anymore.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I have some typical ones, like my mom, my cat, etc. But there is one that I feel may be a bit less generic: hope. Hope has kept me going for a while now and hope comes in many forms for me. There's hope for love, hope for the future, hope for a better life, etc. It's like a light at the end of every tunnel that has kept me going. Hope has kept me going in some pretty trying times, which I have had quite a few recently. I had to spend a ton on my car and tires, and just recently, my permanent retainer broke so I have to pay around $100 to get that fixed. That moves me onto one last thing keeping me going which is keeping a positive mindset and keeping the negative self-talk down. Like with my retainer, instead of worrying about the money I'm going to spend, I'm thankful I have the means to fix it and thankful that I was able to get braces. Or for my car, being grateful that I even have a car, and a license, and the means to upkeep it.

 

[iori011x3]

Also, it would really suck ass to not eat good food like steak, mexican, chinese, and korean food anymore.

no fr i agree. i need to experience some fancy ass dining experience at least once in my life.

Hope has kept me going for a while now and hope comes in many forms for me. There's hope for love, hope for the future, hope for a better life, etc. It's like a light at the end of every tunnel that has kept me going.

i feel that. lately, i've been hoping that things would work out okay by the end. it's been keeping me away from thinking about ctb so i guess it's been working

 

[2stubborn2die]

keeping a positive mindset and keeping the negative self-talk down

I've been trying to stick to this myself.
Really hard sometimes, specially when you're alone, completely unsupported, as I am.

Hope has kept me going for a while now

This. For me there's no more. I don't have supporting family, couple or anything alike. A pair of not so close friends and cousins, at best.
I guess hope really is the last thing one losses, as they say.
Hopefully I find someone (other than me, shit!) that loves me. Someone to share experiences with. Whichever kind of experiences, but something!

 

[Dliena]

My mother and pets. Other stuff as well and just admittedly afraid to die for now.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

The fact that suicide hurts and is risky. That's basically it.

 

[hopelessgirl]

My dog, my meds and the fact that I am scared of what SN will feel like.

 

[DandiFynalicious]

I have unfinished business and goals I want to reach. I want to outlive my enemies. I would not want to harm my family with another traumatic death. My dog needs me to take her for walks. I keep finding new songs I like. I keep having periods of time where I feel like life might be worth it after all and those feel nice.

This forum has helped. I lurk more than I post. Since joining this forum my desire to ctb has reduced a lot. It's nice reading about other people who have similar problems and feelings.

 

[iori011x3]

This forum has helped. I lurk more than I post. Since joining this forum my desire to ctb has reduced a lot. It's nice reading about other people who have similar problems and feelings.

i can't agree more. i've never felt less alone in my life. it's really comforting to know that there's someone who's going through the exact thing as me. i feel like i can lean on this community yknow?

 

[albert_camus]

The fact that my suicide would destroy my parents life. Also my two cats, like... I got my younger one only about two years ago.
(I know that my suicide would affect my friends and my girlfriend negatively too, but I think they would kinda "get over it".)

 

[Hardcore_Henry]

the Silent Hill 2 Remake lol.


i got priorities

 

[iori011x3]

the Silent Hill 2 Remake lol.


i got priorities

you're so real for that !

 

[Rack.-]

i can't agree more. i've never felt less alone in my life. it's really comforting to know that there's someone who's going through the exact thing as me. i feel like i can lean on this community yknow?

Gosh you are so real with that... Feeling so lonely makes me always come back to this forum as if it was another social media... I guess it's the only place left I can connect with someone haha :')

 

[iori011x3]

Gosh you are so real with that... Feeling so lonely makes me always come back to this forum as if it was another social media... I guess it's the only place left I can connect with someone haha :')

noooo u get me !!!! i'm genuinely hopping on ss more than instagram or twitter these days. it's kinda insane. just goes to show how mentally ill we are

anyways theres so many people on here that i wanna talk to in dms but i'm too shy LMAO i will admire them from afar :3

 

[Rack.-]

noooo u get me !!!! i'm genuinely hopping on ss more than instagram or twitter these days. it's kinda insane. just goes to show how mentally ill we are

anyways theres so many people on here that i wanna talk to in dms but i'm too shy LMAO i will admire them from afar :3

I'm open if you ever feel like talking ^^
But not rn cuz I'm heading right to bed xD

 

[SexyIncél]

anyways theres so many people on here that i wanna talk to in dms but i'm too shy LMAO i will admire them from afar :3

YOLO

If you're being decent & talking about ideas they may find interesting, why not? Normal worst-case scenario is they're silent or not particularly pleasant. But that's on them, not you

 

[leaches.peaches]

its hard to recover when idek what i could stay for. what keeps yall alive?

Currently, my cats are what's keeping me here. I couldn't imagine leaving them alone.

 

[iori011x3]

If you're being decent & talking about ideas they may find interesting, why not? Normal worst-case scenario is they're silent or not particularly pleasant. But that's on them, not you

mmm you're right! social anxiety is getting the best of me

 

[sadwriter]

I have a few reasons that I come back to when I'm deep into that CTB ideation. I want to keep living so that I can finally finish the novella I've been planning/ writing since the end of 2018. I want to keep living so that I can more generally keep creating cool things and hopefully have a positive impact on the world, however small it may be. I want to keep living because I don't want to traumatize my younger brother for the rest of his life– I know he'd be devastated to see me go, and I wouldn't want to do that to him or my dad. I want to keep living so that I can keep learning as much as I can in order to understand the world better and keep experiencing beautiful art, whether it be reading books or listening to music or watching films or looking at paintings.

Lately, I've wanted to keep living so that I could do right by my younger self. She was fucked over repeatedly by the people in her life who were supposed to have her best interests in mind, and even if I don't always feel like current me is worth it, when I look back I really want child me to have a happy ending for herself.

 

[mallows]

I'm saving up money to leave the country for a while. just a short trip, probably only a few weeks ( if that ) but I think the change of scenery might help

 

[iori011x3]

Lately, I've wanted to keep living so that I could do right by my younger self. She was fucked over repeatedly by the people in her life who were supposed to have her best interests in mind, and even if I don't always feel like current me is worth it, when I look back I really want child me to have a happy ending for herself.

your reasons are so valid but this one stood out to me the most. i never really thought about child me. i think it's a very significant reason to keep going, and being introduced to this makes me realize a lot of other things in my life. tysm for sharing !!!

 

[Celerity]

Family, of course, and some small hope that I can turn my life around. I would like to say that I would surely not bother w/ recovery if I were older (40s/50s), but then I said that about my age now when I was a teen and in my 20s, so I think I am just full of shit and full of SI.

 

[unrest]

all the music and books that i haven't had the privilege of consuming yet. that also applies w/ video games and shows.

 

[sadwriter]

your reasons are so valid but this one stood out to me the most. i never really thought about child me. i think it's a very significant reason to keep going, and being introduced to this makes me realize a lot of other things in my life. tysm for sharing !!!

I'm glad to hear that resonated with you. I didn't think about it until recently either, but it was powerful for me to realize!!

 

[Kit1]

Loved ones

 

[boddibo]

I guess a part of me wants to try to live for once, it's just that I've never wanted to learn how to drive (depression and anxiety are so fun lol) before, well, last year, and now I'm just stuck somewhere with no transportation, no job which leaves me, well, not in a good state of mind. I want to die, but I don't really want to die yet since there's still a bit of hope, but I don't know how long I'll be able to handle the feeling of being a failure for the last x years, it's been hurting badly lately.

 

[iori011x3]

I guess a part of me wants to try to live for once, it's just that I've never wanted to learn how to drive (depression and anxiety are so fun lol) before, well, last year, and now I'm just stuck somewhere with no transportation, no job which leaves me, well, not in a good state of mind. I want to die, but I don't really want to die yet since there's still a bit of hope, but I don't know how long I'll be able to handle the feeling of being a failure for the last x years, it's been hurting badly lately.

hey man, i get you. this is the realest shit i've heard. i'm 18, turning 19 this year and i still havent even started on getting my drivers license, let alone intending to despite how nicer getting to uni would be (i hate the 2hr30min transit).

i really do feel you. wanting to die but only because everything else is crashing down on you, not because you truly want to genuinely does hurt a lot. i really hope your next days are nicer to you. i'd hate for you to keep suffering in the pain you are now. i hope you'll be okay, and even if you arent, that's fine too.

 

[boddibo]

hey man, i get you. this is the realest shit i've heard. i'm 18, turning 19 this year and i still havent even started on getting my drivers license, let alone intending to despite how nicer getting to uni would be (i hate the 2hr30min transit).

i really do feel you. wanting to die but only because everything else is crashing down on you, not because you truly want to genuinely does hurt a lot. i really hope your next days are nicer to you. i'd hate for you to keep suffering in the pain you are now. i hope you'll be okay, and even if you arent, that's fine too.

if you can afford on getting your driver's license, you should do it, it's not easy, it scares me very much (i already failed once), now i'm stuck in my mid-20s not able to do anything because of that, i went to uni for 5 years without, it was kinda hell, being up from 5 a.m until 11 p.m, tired all the time... but I just couldn't bring myself to learn how to drive, that shit is scaring the hell out of me

maybe because I've been depressed since I'm like 7 and my brain's messed up and everything is just too tiring, I have crippling anxiety, I keep doing the same mistakes, I feel like I'm a f-ing danger on the road but if I want to live, I need that damn driver's license, so I'll keep trying to get it before the end of the year... and if I don't, well.. I don't want to think about it

you're a kind soul, I hope your way to recovery won't be too hard for you, i've seen your posts, i hope it gets easier for you

 

[Eternal Eyes]

As weird as this sounds, my cousin. She's attempted twice before, although her life is completely different now (thankfully). Still I know if something ever happened to me it'd hit her hard. I think most people I know would be sad, but they'd quickly move on as I don't really open myself up emotionally.

Years ago I answered this question with wanting to see a sports team that I love win the championship. I never thought it would actually happen! It did and now I have some other things to live for. Right now it's my family, specifically my grandmother. It would hurt her if I went before she did. I'm also holding out hope for a bright future.

That's an incredible thing, especially if your team has been bad in the past or ran poorly. Heaven knows the bad seasons and bad games can all blend together, but days like winning games against local rivals, beating bigger teams on the road and winning cups makes it all worth it. Good luck with whatever team you support!

 

[_Alfarooq_]

its hard to recover when idek what i could stay for. what keeps yall alive?

nothing no mored