What is your relationship with your parents like?

[kilowatt]

Curious on how suicidal people interact with their families still. Just a general idea of how good or bad your relationship is, how your family played a part in your idealization and if you stayed in touch.

Personally I had a really rough time with my parents ever since my preteen years. They're a big reason I ended up damaging my mental health and came to the conclusion it'd be better to end it all. I still live with my mother which doesn't make things very easy.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

My relationship with my mother is pretty solid. My father on the other hand was an abusive alcoholic that regularly let me know that I wasn't good enough. When he died, he left me a letter that said the cliche "your failings as a son were my failings as a father". Basically acknowledging what a fuck up I am in his last words to me. I hate him. And I wish he was here so I could tell him.

 

[grahf]

I have bpd so I understand my parents hate me, I live in Asia where parents are suppose to be your god and you aren't allowed to talk back.
I have complicated relationship with my parents, I feel ungrateful because I still live with them even I'm not child or teen, and worse I'm unemployment
But my psychologist said I have childhood trauma root of my mental disorder because of them
I don't know if I suppose hate them or what

 

[bunny_brownie9]

ones dead and was an alcoholic narcissist, other is a narcissist lol

 

[4am]

my parents are great, the best parents i could ever wish for, they are very loving and always support me, even as a hiki, and i love them very much. because of that i feel bad for being such a miserable loser, a fucking disappointment of a child. i feel like i failed them. the thought of ctb-ing, and even being on this forum makes me feel guilty because of the impact it would have on my parents, but i hope that eventually they'll understand

 

[Soontobegoner]

My mother seems to be very kind and caring to me.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Dad's a narcissist. Mum's a good person basically but she, like me, couldnt handle the narcissist. So yeah that's that :D

Something I haven't understood yet about ppl who wanna ctb despite having 2 amazing parents. Why? Isn't the root of most misery a dysfunctional family? If both ur parents are amazing and were good to u, why would u wanna ctb? Genuine question for the ones reading.

 

[willitpass]

My dad is wonderful, I couldn't ask for a better dad. I feel horrible for all of the shit I put him through as a teenager with my mental health, and when I attempted with SN he was the one who had to do CPR. I will never forgive myself for what I've done to him. That's why I no longer tell him the truth about how I'm doing, he deserves the peace of believing I'm doing okay.

My mother is a horrible human being. She a narcissist and I haven't spoken to her in over a year. She abused me all of my childhood and I happily cut her out of my life. While I don't blame her for my mental health issues existing, she definitely contributed to them getting as severe as they are.

 

[Soontobegoner]

Dad's a narcissist. Mum's a good person basically but she, like me, couldnt handle the narcissist. So yeah that's that :D

Something I haven't understood yet about ppl who wanna ctb despite having 2 amazing parents. Why? Isn't the root of most misery a dysfunctional family? If both ur parents are amazing and were good to u, why would u wanna ctb? Genuine question for the ones reading.

Having good parents doesn't give you cure for your own issues bro. Some people are born broken.... Parents can be good but they cannot protect you always. Parents support can only go so far.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Having good parents doesn't give you cure for your own issues bro. Some people are born broken.... Parents can be good but they cannot protect you always. Parents support can only go so far.

Yeah I imagine but something went wrong with the parenting if the kid is suicidal?

Abusive/Absentee parents can fuck up their children but at the same time, I think being overly protective can also do the same? I imagine different paths but same result? I dunno.

 

[willitpass]

Yeah I imagine but something went wrong with the parenting if the kid is suicidal?

Abusive/Absentee parents can fuck up their children but at the same time, I think being overly protective can also do the same? I imagine different paths but same result? I dunno.

Not every suicidal person is suicidal because of their parents. Is it more likely that a someone has family issues if their suicidal? Probably. But it's not always the case. Sometimes things go wrong with no known cause.

 

[silent.desperation]

My parents chose a religious cult over me. I've had extremely minimal contact with them over the past 20-odd years. It's the predominant reason for my ongoing SI...

 

[4am]

Yeah I imagine but something went wrong with the parenting if the kid is suicidal?

Abusive/Absentee parents can fuck up their children but at the same time, I think being overly protective can also do the same? I imagine different paths but same result? I dunno.

you can just be suicidal for logical reasons, doesn't have to do anything w your parents

 

[Soontobegoner]

Yeah I imagine but something went wrong with the parenting if the kid is suicidal?

Abusive/Absentee parents can fuck up their children but at the same time, I think being overly protective can also do the same? I imagine different paths but same result? I dunno.

Some people are born with capabilities and some don't. Mental illness can come from myriad of reasons... Like school bullying... It's like saying... If you lived healthy... How come one got cancer or if you were driving right how come you got into accident.... Well shit happens with no explanation and without your own mistakes...

 

[FuneralCry]

Fine but I just wish they didn't bring me into existence in the first place. Imposing existence is something really terrible and harmful to me, more than anything I wish I never existed.

 

[Gelos82]

I have a great relationship with my mum she's always kind and caring, my dad passed away when I was younger, he was a difficult man and very tough on me.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Not every suicidal person is suicidal because of their parents. Is it more likely that a someone has family issues if their suicidal? Probably. But it's not always the case. Sometimes things go wrong with no known cause.

Regarding the parental thing, yes you guys are right. Dysfunctional family is not the only reason ppl commit suicide. Financial problems, marital problems, academics, health issues.. there's more.

But I just assumed that a great childhood would deter a person from ctb ing. I am probably wrong

Some people are born with capabilities and some don't. Mental illness can come from myriad of reasons... Like school bullying... It's like saying... If you lived healthy... How come one got cancer or if you were driving right how come you got into accident.... Well shit happens with no explanation and without your own mistakes...

yeah

 

[lifewasawillow]

Awful lol.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My parents aren't the best but they aren't the worst either. All in all, I am the way I am because of how society as a whole is like as well as my neurotype, not because of my parents. Though I'll admit I hate at how they force religion on me a lot. I wish that my parents didn't give birth to me but my issues are with life overall

 

[kilowatt]

My parents aren't the best but they aren't the worst either. All in all, I am the way I am because of how society as a whole is like as well as my neurotype, not because of my parents. Though I'll admit I hate at how they force religion on me a lot. I wish that my parents didn't give birth to me but my issues are with life overall

I can relate to that. I'm only in touch with my mom but she's absolutely the worst when it comes to her religious beliefs.

 

[rozeske]

They spend their days complaining how any and every problem is my fault, complaining how much they hate having birthed me. I spend my days bitter and angry from not being able to forgive them for how they raised me and for my past trumas. One thing we have in common is we both want me out of their sight, alive or dead. Am working on the dead part.

 

[tbroken]

I like my parents. Even if they are boomers they are somewhat open minded and honest ppl, but the problem is not my relationship with them, but with the whole world.
I understood many things, i want to be happy and i want to be surrounded by ppl that are happy with me.
It may seem lazy thinking or philosophy, but trust me all social-problems come from social-discrepancies. I don't think anybody would steal you money if he wasn't in need and stuff...

 

[Kit1]

Disastrous.

 

[Malaria]

My father is dead, but I hate him. He's a huge reason for why I have a good chunk of the issues I have. He never wanted me and beat me and tried to kill my mother and myself when I was a small child. He's also done a lot of horrible, downright criminal things I won't mention here. He was also very self absorbed in an unhealthy way.

I have a complicated relationship with my mother. She has abused me emotionally and physically, but at one point she and I had a pretty great relationship. She's really not a bad person, just has some anger issues and sometimes a backwards way of looking at things because of how she was raised.

I loathe my ex-stepfather. He is a very unhealthy and controlling person. He made sexual comments about my body when I was around 8-9 years old. He would yell at my mother for wearing clothes that were too revealing but had no problem staring at random women lewdly when he and my mother were out in public together. He has cheated on every woman he's ever been with, including my mother, and including the woman he's currently married to. He verbally and emotionally abuses all of his kids, including me even though I'm not blood related to him. He refuses to ever admit he did something wrong and will yell at you and berate you if you prove him wrong. One time when I was a small child, I injured my big toe really badly and he accused me of "faking it" and forced me to walk on that foot anyway in spite of how much I was in agonizing pain. But for me, the worst is that he cheated on my mother and abandoned me as a father just when I was starting to become attached to him. I have abandonment issues and trust issuss because of him. And yet, even though he was the one who chose to leave my mother for a woman he was having an affair with, he still tries to have sex with my mother for "old times sake". He doesn't know how to have a committed relationship with women and only wants them for sex and to control them. He was also really verbally abusive towards his own mother and would berate her and yell at her all the time.

 

[AllMyDreams]

Curious on how suicidal people interact with their families still. Just a general idea of how good or bad your relationship is, how your family played a part in your idealization and if you stayed in touch.

Personally I had a really rough time with my parents ever since my preteen years. They're a big reason I ended up damaging my mental health and came to the conclusion it'd be better to end it all. I still live with my mother which doesn't make things very easy.

I have always been honest with my Mom about when I'm not doing well. She doesn't really know how to deal with it but came around to accepting it in her own way, like this is a challenge and once I overcome it I'll be a stronger person. I think she feels some guilt but it's better that she knows vs. me pretending everything is always fine. Because she has helped me a lot.

My Dad it's different because I don't know him as well. For a long time I just wanted to hide it from him so he could be proud of me and pay attention to me. But I realized that being ashamed is a stupid thing because he was absent and he contributed to my being this way. So if I'm going to tell him I'm suicidal and he judges me, it doesn't matter. It's on him as much as it's on me. With that understanding it's actually not hard to talk about it.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Bad

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

Full no-contact since 2021 and limited contact for many years preceding.
The majority of my family are extremist fundamentalist christians and I am a gay atheist. Growing up, my parents were abusive when they weren't neglectful.

I don't want to have anything to do with them now or in the future. When I turned 18 it felt like getting released from prison - I had tried to run away and call social services several times before I became a legal adult, but nothing ever became of it. My family presented a unified front of adult rationality, and my cries for help were dismissed as hysteria or symptoms of a mental disorder. But the abuse was real.

I was cut off when I escaped that environment. It was hard starting adulthood without familial support or any external resources to draw from. Misled by the far-right political narrative I grew up in, I naively assumed that the secular world be more accepting of my queerness. I learned the truth of that the hard way.

My early twenties were the most difficult years of my life. I couldn't enroll in college without a co-signer or parental involvement in the federal student loan application process, so I started working in the trades and saved up enough to put myself through community college. I didn't have stable housing and ended up sleeping in my car several months a year. I destroyed my credit score fresh out the gate just to cover basic necessities. I savaged my health working in dangerous industries just to stay afloat financially. My parents and family were aware, but refuses to offer assistance unless I renounced my lifestyle of secular sinfulness and returned to the fold. In their eyes, I have brought all my suffering upon myself because of my irrational commitment to a lifestyle of depravity.

That's a very long winded way of saying that relationship with my parents is far from idyllic.

 

[BlendedHeart]

My mother still cares about me. However, there have been a couple of moments where that mask apparently slips.

-She told her sister "she has always been alone and she has no one to support her", in spite of me accompanying her everywhere she needs to be.
-She has manifested disappointment on me never been able to get a partner and giving her grandkids.
-She told me she doesn't consider what I do "a real job", although I pay almost everything at home.

While those are small things compared with everything she has done for me, my mind always highlights the negative stuff.

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

Something I haven't understood yet about ppl who wanna ctb despite having 2 amazing parents. Why? Isn't the root of most misery a dysfunctional family? If both ur parents are amazing and were good to u, why would u wanna ctb? Genuine question for the ones reading.

Suicidality is an upset of balance - one may have many positive aspects in their life, but if chronic agony outweighs those factors, a desire to catch the bus is a reasonable outcome.

An individual dying a slow, agonizing death from an untreatable medical condition may very well be financially secure, have a loving family, etc, but can reach the point where their suffering overshadows those positive qualities.

In my opinion, suffering is suffering. It doesn't have to be rational. It doesn't have to be explained or described in a way that is understandable to others. It doesn't have to be conventional.

If catching the bus is the only way to be free of that tornent, I will always wholeheartedly support that decision without judgement or reservation, as I have have been confronted with that same decision and made that choice for myself. I can only hope that a person had exhausted all other possibilities before making that call.

 

[stillunemployed]

My relationship with my mother is pretty solid. My father on the other hand was an abusive alcoholic that regularly let me know that I wasn't good enough. When he died, he left me a letter that said the cliche "your failings as a son were my failings as a father". Basically acknowledging what a fuck up I am in his last words to me. I hate him. And I wish he was here so I could tell him.

Almost exactly the same, except he is still alive and will probably live into his 90s easily. His go-to strategy for... well everything, is to blame me, and it has been working out pretty good for him.