Discussion What is the purpose of a girlfriend?

[FailureToAll]

This is probably not the right place the ask this question but I don't know who else to ask or talk to about it.

(I rambled a lot so don't worry about reading it all the main purpose was to ask the question in the title)

I recently got back together with my long distance bf. (If you saw my last post he is no longer homeless and now living with a friend!)

But I have a million insecurities and so many trust issues that I won't go into details about now but I keep wondering about my purpose.

I don't know what my role is, how I fit in his life and what value I add. He has friends for fun and conversations and doing hobbies with. He has a therapist to talk about emotions with. He has friends as close as family to support and care for him. I'm not useful for sexual or other intimate needs since I'm far away. It feels like there's a person in his life meeting each of his needs already and tbh I'm really jealous of them all and feel like a failure because I'm adding nothing to his life and I feel pointless and I'm not sure what I need to bring to his life right now. And on top of the fact I bring nothing good I always end up bringing stress because I'm over emotional and end up causing fights all the time over stupid insecurities so I don't want to bring this up with him especially as we only just got back together and he's currently just getting back on his feet and emotionally doing great right now I don't want to ruin things already.

He's my everything, he meets every need and he's the only thing that makes me want to live. I doubt I'll live for long but I want to be able to meet him and experience life with him for a little while. But maybe its not worth it, I'm constantly overthinking and ruining the happiness I get from him. I'm ranting more than I planned on now ugh. I'm just not sure I have what it takes to be a good gf and im not sure I can find enough motivation to try harder and be more positive. Sorry if this was repetitive or didn't make sense. Thanks if you read it.

 

[carnivalforone]

you being there for him is enough. i have a long distance gf right now and we've had fights where i misspeak and say shes done nothing for me but thats not true. if i didnt have her her absence would definetely hurt. i would even go as far as to saying if i didnt have her id already have a goodbye thread up. you may feel like youre of no value to his life right now but you being there being his is the value. i know im an issue for my gf, i am definetely on the worst side of insecure and i beg and beg her to help me with it and she tries her best but its all i need really. just having someone is life changing. and right now youre that someone for him. bottom line a gf ends up being some sort of good, a lesson, a love, a support. youre always gonna be something. at least he knows you care. good luck i hope it goes well

 

[FailureToAll]

you being there for him is enough. i have a long distance gf right now and we've had fights where i misspeak and say shes done nothing for me but thats not true. if i didnt have her her absence would definetely hurt. i would even go as far as to saying if i didnt have her id already have a goodbye thread up. you may feel like youre of no value to his life right now but you being there being his is the value. i know im an issue for my gf, i am definetely on the worst side of insecure and i beg and beg her to help me with it and she tries her best but its all i need really. just having someone is life changing. and right now youre that someone for him. bottom line a gf ends up being some sort of good, a lesson, a love, a support. youre always gonna be something. at least he knows you care. good luck i hope it goes well

Thank you! I appreciate the response :)

 

[Someone123]

I think he probably has some hope that you will be together in person and that you can meet his needs in person for caring, companionship, and for sexuality, t be his life partner for a while anyway. If you can connect in person this might help to restore a will to live for you, depending on the reasons why you want to leave. I am just guessing, I hope you find peace somehow.