What is the one thing that could happen to prevent you from ctb?

[Dr Iron Arc]

Getting a girlfriend/wife might stop me if there's true love to be found there but the anxiety from the experience could also push me further off the edge.

 

[the end is near]

Acquiring a sizable amount of money would help me significantly. Probably won't happen but there's a small chance it will.

We'll see.

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

From my experience - if something good happens I see this as screw up challenge(and i'm pretty good at it). So at this point i'm unstoppable.

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

I'd like to say if my mental health magically cleared but to be honest I think if that happened my mental health would quickly deteriorate again because of how my life is structured

 

[newave3]

My physical and mental ailments are impossible to cure so therefore there is absolutely nothing that will stop me from catching that there bus.

 

[justanotherstar]

I could have everything in the world and I think my brain would still be broken so unless there was a cure for my mental illnesses then there is nothing in this world that would stop me CTB. I think surface level things like money, a nice place to live, a job etc would only get me so far.

 

[Aeathelina]

realistically I would say lots and lots of money because I can trance 99% of my PTSD going back to poverty

 

[mossball]

Right now I'm on house arrest/surveillance because someone found out I was practicing a partial suspension setup. So I'm being stopped... But I'll be optimistic and say my moment will come. I don't think there's anything that can make me change my mind.

 

[Butterfly65]

I would say time money and health but the biggest factor is being in a place where I feel loved and therefore safe. I feel i have been sad and isolated most of my life even when I was living with family and room mates. This is due to severe lack of love during childhood when most of peoples problems start. Way too much abuses (plural) at childhood ruins your entire life because you immediately develop trust and anxiety issues that stay with you for life. Even if you only were experiencing trauma in your mid life like around 30-35 like say prison or war or a murder or something that trauma destroys the rest of your days because you have been hurt so bad. Because we were hurt at the beginning of our lives we are sad for our entire existance here. It doesn't matter what type of trauma it was it all hurts even in the strongest of people. I'm 40 and my trauma started between 5-13. That type of pain doesn't heal. It can be "forgotten" but that takes an environment with kind loving people to make someone feel "safe" and even then the trauma is likely to come back from time to time. You don't need psycho meds or therapy you need closure if you can get it and love and comfort. Why put a schizophrenic in the same house with his parents? Fucking system is stupid

@GarageKarate07 what you said is so very true. It happened to me the same way too. I was damaged horribly as a child and it just got worse from there throughout my whole life. Now I'm over 50 crippled both emotionally and physically. It's just over. Nothing could ever make the suffering stop.

My physical and mental ailments are impossible to cure so therefore there is absolutely nothing that will stop me from catching that there bus.

Me too :(

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

Time Machine.

 

[LenkaX]

Nothing anymore. I'm at the point of no return.

 

[BornBrief]

All my tax debt disappears and I can keep a stable enough mood to be able to not just "survive" while being self employed, but excel. But the first for sure won't happen, so it's pointless.

 

[Carrotcake]

I have severe depression, it is unbearable. I have tried meds, ECT, ketamine, CBT.. I have an appointment to discuss deep brain stimulation (it is a brain operation) in two weeks. I guess if I could make it those two weeks and be approved and if the operation would work I wouldn't have to ctb. But I don't have a lot of hope because everything up to this point has failed me, I just hope I can make it till the appointment.

Very similar for me. Haven't tried ect/keta/psilocybin yet though. But as everything has failed me so far, my hopes disappeared a long time ago.

 

[Moose.000]

No idea. Maybe a lobotomy.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

like I put in a similar thread, lots and lots and lots of money that is the only thing, i'd like to be a rich recluse like those Rock stars you hear about, but it needs to happen soon.

or a lobotomy lol

 

[WatermelonMel]

Nothing

 

[Ame]

Literal time and space breaking magic. That is to say, almost nothing at this point.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

I think I'd probably be more up for living if I didn't see double (incurable)
I like to think if I woke up tomorrow and saw one of everything, I'd have the motivation to find more friends, a partner, a job, move etc
As it stands, I open my eyes from a dream I see normally in, and am greeted with a dizzying nightmare scape of my belongings
I have recently moved all my goth band/horror film posters from my opposite wall which really helps me get out of bed (most of the time) as I'm not seeing SO MANY BUNNYMEN alongside Echo. But walking around in the world and being frightened of being hit by cars (ironic) or walking into people is depressing beyond measure.

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

I would say time money and health but the biggest factor is being in a place where I feel loved and therefore safe. I feel i have been sad and isolated most of my life even when I was living with family and room mates. This is due to severe lack of love during childhood when most of peoples problems start. Way too much abuses (plural) at childhood ruins your entire life because you immediately develop trust and anxiety issues that stay with you for life. Even if you only were experiencing trauma in your mid life like around 30-35 like say prison or war or a murder or something that trauma destroys the rest of your days because you have been hurt so bad. Because we were hurt at the beginning of our lives we are sad for our entire existance here. It doesn't matter what type of trauma it was it all hurts even in the strongest of people. I'm 40 and my trauma started between 5-13. That type of pain doesn't heal. It can be "forgotten" but that takes an environment with kind loving people to make someone feel "safe" and even then the trauma is likely to come back from time to time. You don't need psycho meds or therapy you need closure if you can get it and love and comfort. Why put a schizophrenic in the same house with his parents? Fucking system is stupid.

Same :( You pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. Childhood trauma sticks with you forever. A lot of the experiences I've had (abusive parents that constantly humiliated me), emotionally unavailable parents, missing out on teen love due to my anxiety, and sheltered/isolated childhood, etc. It's made me so far removed from a normal healthy relationship that I'd be incapable of expressing emotions, showing love to another person or being vulnerable. All of that's necessary for pair bonding. If I were to get in a relationship I'd have zero clue how to communicate either. I 100% relate to what you said about trust issues. I have a very hard time trusting people and it'll probably prevent me from ever finding true love or friendship

 

[intr0verse]

Dying before i'll do it myself.

 

[bluedreamscape]

Winning the lottery would save my life.

 

[stillweary]

Independently wealthy or suicide. There's nothing else that would make life worth it in this god-forsaken shithole.

 

[GarageKarate07]

$3000 that would probly save my life... maybe even $1200

 

[sebasto]

If she would give me another chance. It was just a stupid misunderstanding, the way I talked to her about my fear of commitment.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Some not-so-possible miracles like got captured by an advanced alien race and got brought into their utopia planet.

 

[fishtacos4me]

I thought for a moment and came up with some answers - money, health, etc

but then I boiled those down to find out what's behind those answers
money - I'm sick of worrying about it, I don't want to be homeless
health - I'm sick of being in pain and I worry about how much more pain, how much longer
mental health - PTSD makes me feel like I'm in serious life or death danger that I cannot escape

its really all about safety it seems

safety - for me to not CTB I would need to feel safe - from becoming homeless, from pain, from the uncontrollable fear

weird, I want to harm myself because I don't feel safe? strange how it doesn't inspire me to try to be safe but inspires me to try to die

right now I'm guessing this is because I don't know how to find a way to feel safe, but I do know how to find a way to die
maybe I believe that it's all inescapable till death, that death is the only way to be safe - nothing can ever hurt me again once I'm dead

 

[bluedreamscape]

All I need is a cool $2 mil... is that too much to ask for? haha

 

[Claimingmylife]

I guess two things could save me, at least temporarily, even if my decision was already taken (which it isn't right now):

- Either the love of my life contacting me and telling me "you know what? I've reconsidered the last few years. I decided I love you and want to be with you. Let's do this."
- Or my parents telling me "you know... all the things you've been hiding for more than a decade... we know. We always knew. Everything. And it's okay, we can work this out, we accept it unconditionally, we don't mind except for the fact that it makes you suffer, and we want to help you whichever way we can and you agree on"

Even then, it would not necessarily be enough. But it could stop me, at least for a while.

But one day or another, I guess it will have to happen. I've been thinking about it since I'm six. I really fail to see how it could end any other way eventually.

 

[TicoDK]

Vida

 

[nopointofliving]

Solving my problems can postpone my ctb but I will ctb at the end