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BlackCatTalk

BlackCatTalk

StrayCat
Apr 28, 2019
198
Self-hatred that was unleashed in an unfortunate love-hate relationship with food and ended up in an ed, in addition to a past that I can't get over, all that turned me into someone of no importance, I mean I ended up being ignored by 99% of people ...
 
Gnip

Gnip

Bill the Cat
Oct 10, 2020
621
Had nightmares when I was a baby, always screaming in my sleep. Decades later, I got a diagnosis of severe congenital obstructive sleep apnea. Even without a criminally abusive and evil stupid father, even without any exposure to any schools or any peer pressure, that would have remained a major life shortening and quality deadening issue. It's not possible to be psychologically or psychiatrically healthy with compromised sleep disturbance.

Getting diagnosed with what is now called AD/HD (Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood in DSM-II) provided the single advantage of knowing today
that my brain and body paradoxically process the antihistamine diphenhydramine so that OTC drugs like Benadryl, Tylenol PM and Vicks ZzzQuil wake and rev me up rather than make me sleepy, but the label of mental retardation my idiot elementary school principal father, idiot teachers and idiot school psychologists slapped me with was an academic death sentence, as they looked for the worst, expected the worst and hoped for the worst from me.

Having been bullied at home, by the school faculty and everybody else while I was being drugged with speed in front of my elementary school classes by the bullying teachers to the jeers of the other kids, I started getting my first failing grades after I was taken off all medications at age 13 and a half. A false rumor was started that I was suicidal over something as meaningless and stupid as academic grades, so I was forced into psychofuckery by school fuckologists who all belonged with other bespectacled degrees in Khmer Rouge death camps, incessantly treated as if I was suicidal, and so I developed iatrogenic dysthymia and major depressive disorder.

All these years later, having decisively failed on electroconvulsive therapy and seven of the eight current classes of antidepressants, I have been labeled untreatable by multiple psychiatrists and qualify for psychiatrist administered euthanasia in the Netherlands and Belgium, aside from my citizenship in the United States. (I expect psychiatrist administered euthanasia to become a legal right in the US during the next four years, although I doubt I'll be waiting that long to CTB.)
 
fixitinpost

fixitinpost

Arriving Somewhere But Not Here
Oct 20, 2020
161
The fact that life has been one sucker punch after another for a good while now, and I'm too tired to get up.

- Music was my life's passion, and due to sudden onset of diplacusis dysharmonia a few years ago I struggle to identify sounds and am partially deaf.
- After breaking my back for the company I was employed by at the time, I ended up getting punished for burning out.
- My ex-domestic partner cheated on me, literally told me that she'd only been with me to not feel lonely, jumped to another guy, and practically forced me out in the middle of a pandemic.
- Burnout and depression.
- Social anxiety since forever.
 
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Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,239
The most general, ultimate cause is SJWs and the people who pull their strings for the benefit of themselves and a few loud and opportunistic members of 'minority' groups. They - the string pullers - are abusive liars who have and continue to ruin generations upon generations of human lives for their benefit by confusing the very people who they're abusing into believing they're actually helping them. It's all just part of their mentally ill religious project and it's caused me mental torment from my birth onwards. Most of their ass-licking SJW cult members are innocent dupes, but many are just willfully blind. That last category is just as bad as the string pullers. Together, they are the reason I am suicidal.
 
Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
351
This evil artificial system that has no respect for Mother nature, and how unfair and retarded the universe seems to be.

Amnesia is also extremely annoying and the process of relearning is infuriating. It honestly wouldn't be that big of a deal if it weren't for these psychopathic criminals that turn life into a living hell. Which then necessitates me having to be very careful in how I navigate through this world crawling with opportunistic vampires. Many worries of which shouldn't even exist in the first place.

I hate watching this place get destroyed by evil lunatics and realizing it would be in vain if I tried to stop them. It seems that there's no ultimate rhyme or reason to this place. No greater purpose other than agony, no wonder we're all so addicted to many types of fantasies.
 
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Antigonish

Antigonish

Mage
Sep 19, 2020
593
Something i cant even comprehend. People are like fix it. But I'm like 'if I take a hydrogen tank and hook it to an oxygen tank, it still doesn't make water.'
 
DeathBySuicide

DeathBySuicide

Member
Nov 30, 2020
46
Probably my perfectionism and competitive streak. I not only want to be the best at everything, but to be perfect at it too. As that's not exactly possible, I start hating myself and become depressed. There are probably a lot of other reasons too, but that's probably the main one.
 
S

Snowdrifts1212

Member
Sep 16, 2020
33
I've lost everything I loved in the last year, and it's become clear to me I have wasted my youth. I will never be loved again. Never be chosen by anyone. Never be wanted. Always be alone. I made the wrong choices in my 20s and early 30s and now it's too late to fix them. I am unloved, desperately lonely and it will never change. And I'm done. I am so done trying.
 
Ringo

Ringo

Rabbits on the Moon
Dec 3, 2020
1,698
-My bipolar disorder which I have no possibility to treat.

-A bad decision that plunged me into a bad situation from which I will not be able to get out. At least not in short and medium term.

-Fear to the future, because being completely useless and unable to face the university.

-Guilt for my best friend's death, I could have helped her if I had been more attentive.

-Social anxiety.
 
RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,083
The most general, ultimate cause is SJWs and the people who pull their strings for the benefit of themselves and a few loud and opportunistic members of 'minority' groups. They - the string pullers - are abusive liars who have and continue to ruin generations upon generations of human lives for their benefit by confusing the very people who they're abusing into believing they're actually helping them. It's all just part of their mentally ill religious project and it's caused me mental torment from my birth onwards. Most of their ass-licking SJW cult members are innocent dupes, but many are just willfully blind. That last category is just as bad as the string pullers. Together, they are the reason I am suicidal.

Wait, let me get this straight... The reason why you're struggling mentally are "Social Justice Warriors" aka college kids that have no constitutional power at all? Like, in what way do they even affect your life? There was never a point in US history when "SJWs" actually had any kind of political power, yet you pretend like they have such a huge influence over your life. How is that even possible?

Let me ask you this, if you really felt suicidal because of so called "Social Justice Warriors", then what do you think minorities in the US felt like in the last 4 years, when real people with actual constitutional power, like the Trump administration that is filled with religious right-wing fundamentalists, tried to take away their rights?
 
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Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,239
Wait, let me get this straight... The reason why you're struggling mentally are "Social Justice Warriors" aka college kids that have no constitutional power at all? Like, in what way do they even affect your life? There was never a point in US history when "SJWs" actually had any kind of political power, yet you pretend like they have such a huge influence over your life. How is that even possible?

Let me ask you this, if you really felt suicidal because of so called "Social Justice Warriors", then what do you think minorities in the US felt like in the last 4 years, when real people with actual constitutional power, like the Trump administration that is filled with religious right-wing fundamentalists, tried to take away their rights?
You got it straight except you don't seem to understand how SJWs have power.

As for your question about how minorities in general felt I really can't speak for them, especially just to satisfy your SJW hostility.
 
Throwmyselfaway

Throwmyselfaway

Not gone yet but soon
Jan 14, 2020
798
The latest torment is bills, feelings of being a failure oh and the biggest is the memories that come from ptsd flashbacks of my childhood. I blocked shit so well I had no idea things happened. It is now effecting my daily life.
 
SweetTangerine

SweetTangerine

ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ᵖˡᵃʸ, ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃᵍᵉˢ!!
Nov 9, 2020
41
i am:
  • ugly
  • anxious
  • unlovable
  • unable to forget the invalidity of my trauma
  • and just overall a scum human i guess
i always get the same recurring nightmares of my trauma and i just want them to end. nothing good is going for me anyways.
 

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