• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

brimstonenfire_rain

brimstonenfire_rain

Wonder of U
Jul 13, 2023
37
Is there something you're still living for? a reason to live? that you would let yourself die without?
 
  • Like
Reactions: sadwriter, Tobacco and Ivan Dunaev
busybee

busybee

Experienced
Jul 5, 2023
208
I am the type of person that cries all day when they have to call in sick cause it makes me feel so guilty so I cannot get past the guilt of leaving my family behind. Also my SO says if I die he will die and I would not want to cause a death besides mine.
Plus I am the main household income and feel responsible.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Tobacco, Ivan Dunaev and Freyja13
iLikeFrogs

iLikeFrogs

In the grippy socks jail
May 5, 2023
88
Probably just my SI and lack of a suitable method. Also this small glimpse of hope that maybe it'll get better
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cepi
trashprincess

trashprincess

She/Slur
Aug 8, 2023
186
I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: KushComa, lavender143once, iwanttoleave2000 and 2 others
brimstonenfire_rain

brimstonenfire_rain

Wonder of U
Jul 13, 2023
37
I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...
Yes I'm looking for it too, and yes I think it's extremely difficult that it now seems impossible
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: trashprincess
Cássius

Cássius

Member
Apr 5, 2023
11
for my friends, i love them very much, and they mean literally everything to me, they are all i have.
even though my dad calls them "faggots"(one of them is a trans boy, but for my father it's a "faggy"), they are everything to me, i don't spend a lot of time in person with them (i live in the country and they live in the city), i talk to them all the time, and the times i spend time with them they are the happiest moments I have, they make me feel important and love me like no one in my family ever has loved.
Obviously it's a shitty way to live basing my life on another persons, but idc.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Jojo_Kun, Tobacco, Ivan Dunaev and 2 others
G

Graycy09

Member
Feb 14, 2023
5
It might sound a bit silly, but I want to know how some of my favorite shows end. I've also been playing the piano for a few years and I want to learn how to play all the pieces on my list. I think having something to look forward to, like a concert or a trip, really helps (:
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: KushComa, sadwriter, lavender143once and 4 others
HelloIamSummer

HelloIamSummer

Very tired
Nov 5, 2022
28
I honestly don't have a thing I'm living for. I wish I did. But every time I get worse, there is nothing to stop me. Needless to say, I want to live, but only because this time in my life is good. But maybe I'll find something like that one day :)
 
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,146
I'd like to be able to feel it when my mom tells me she loves me. I've been numb for so long it does'nt seem like it's going to happen.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: sadwriter, anhedonicNfoggy and Rapière
C

conarc

Experienced
Aug 8, 2023
244
Need to get my divorce completed so that my mum does not need to deal with it. I also want to spend some of the money which I will get out of this.
 
  • Love
Reactions: lavender143once and Saltedcoffee
sp4rk

sp4rk

i am gamer >:3
Aug 9, 2023
30
My cat is the reason I am alive for now. I only recently adopted her last year and she is very special to me since I did not have many pets for the longterm when I was younger.
 
  • Love
Reactions: KushComa, lavender143once, anhedonicNfoggy and 1 other person
StolenLife

StolenLife

-
Sep 19, 2022
740
I want to finish University.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: KushComa, sadwriter, lavender143once and 2 others
Bobbylobby

Bobbylobby

Tonight You Belong to Me
Aug 16, 2023
58
Though I'm trying to find more reasons to keep going.. currently its just my girlfriend that's my main motivation
 
  • Like
Reactions: KushComa and sadwriter
immrw

immrw

Member
Jan 22, 2023
79
my cat 💕💖💓 i love her so much
 
  • Like
Reactions: KushComa and sadwriter
I

iwanttoleave2000

evan
Aug 5, 2023
39
I need a longterm relationship. I am confident if I have this it will be my ticket to happiness.

Since I am weird (gen z sense of humor and interests) and I don't have any social skills (specifically the ability to create casual conversation) I need to become as attractive as possible so I can be appealing to women.

I've currently been abusing steroids and training and dieting for years to build the perfect body. Now I am working on getting perfect hair, regularly coloring it and getting treatments, working on perfecting styling it, etc. I might look into saving for plastic surgery at some point next for the perfect face.
I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...
Yes one of my goals also. I am severely touch starved. For now I have to settle for the few seconds of physical contact I get from hair stylists when they wash my hair.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ColorlessTrees
Torrinedw

Torrinedw

Member
Jun 1, 2023
6
im not really sure, because sometimes i hit the point when i dont care about anything at all. but i think the reason i keep going is the fact that im "taking care" of my suicidal friends, even tho am going through a lot as well, i am always trying to be here for them and im not sure if they would have someone to vent to if im gone.
 
TheMetalHead

TheMetalHead

Experienced
Aug 18, 2023
206
Hearing my favourite band's album that comes up this September and my cat, nothing else really
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mauve87, ColorlessTrees and Monique696
Tobacco

Tobacco

Efilist. Possible promortalist.
Jan 14, 2023
195
I know this is the recovery section but what motivates me is something "negative". First I want to translate an introduction to philosophy to the english language. Then I want to translate antinatalist material to spanish.

Also I want to see if I can be useful to a charity.
 
ang3lz

ang3lz

Member
Aug 17, 2023
24
Just my boyfriend really. As much as I feel like a burden, I'm scared to hurt him and burden him with the trauma of dealing with my death.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: ColorlessTrees and lavender143once
catotoctb

catotoctb

I hope find happiness someday.
Aug 27, 2023
42
First of all, my partner, who helps me troughout this nightmare called life. I would like to marry them. On the other hand, would like to know that im capable of finish university and work that career out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: KushComa and sadwriter
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

"We'll fly away, We'll find a way"
Oct 26, 2019
834
Independence and freedom
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicallyCynical and sadwriter
neonzebra

neonzebra

Member
Sep 11, 2022
56
There are still some possibilities of having fun out there. Also my cat...
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: KushComa, sadwriter and Monique696
sadwriter

sadwriter

Hanging in there
Aug 29, 2023
176
There's this one longform piece of fiction that I've been working on for years but am still yet to finish. It means a lot to me and it's definitely something that I think of that pulls me out of wanting to CTB just yet.

Also, more generally, the desire to make some sort of positive impact on the world, even if it's small.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mauve87
Jojo_Kun

Jojo_Kun

Trying to sleep for eternity.
Jul 10, 2023
4
Firstly, Sometimes I feel like maybe just maybe things will turn out alright and I would be able to escape this hell. Secondly I have reasoned that even if I remain depressed and Sui**dal in future, If I can make this world a slightly better place with me in it, my life would be worth living. Since childhood I always wanted to help poor, helpless people and if I get a job I wanna help them financially. I have just recently joined an NGO which deals with helpless children and I wanna be a full time active member there. Imagining this pathetic life of me can bring some joy in this world makes me hopeful. Yes it would be tough, painful for me but atleast someone's life would be better. But somtimes this darkness becomes so unbearable that I just want to die. I don't wanna face this thing forever.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ColorlessTrees
ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
256
Suicidal again since my latest shot at functioning failed, but trying hard to make it through for my fiancé. I just have to cope until I can see him again in November. And then he'll take care of me.

I also have many unattainable goals, but in the moment, that and my stupid obsession with doll collecting. Which I cannot afford to support thanks to my dysfunction.
 
Marine

Marine

Make love win against fear 🤍
Jul 5, 2020
589
Love, beauty and life ideally. At the very least I need some loving moments with someone of my type before I can die...
 
  • Love
Reactions: Tulip<3 and KushComa
Softwind

Softwind

Member
May 22, 2023
39
If I were to live for longer, I would just like to see if I'm able to achieve my dreams (Ex: the career I want, make friends, etc).
 
KushComa

KushComa

New Member
Aug 7, 2023
2
For me its my mother. She does so much for her children, and I just want to be able to make her truly proud one day before I die.
 
T

Tulip<3

Student
Aug 16, 2023
112
The biggest ones for me are my sister and my 3 year old niece. I just can't leave my sister behind and I also can't break my niece's little heart, she loves me a lot. Also, my cat.
I do have a bit of hope for the future too. I want to give things more of a good go. I still don't really want a long life though. Doesn't appeal to me.
 
dumblosergirl

dumblosergirl

girl failure
Feb 13, 2023
70
Going to college to make no one else but myself proud and my two close friends.
 

Similar threads

sybilsxys
Replies
3
Views
113
Suicide Discussion
randal_bond
R
4everHeartBroken
Replies
113
Views
3K
Suicide Discussion
AveMori
A
derpyderpins
Discussion Life IS Hard
Replies
2
Views
148
Recovery
lost_ange2211
lost_ange2211
Darkover
Replies
26
Views
557
Suicide Discussion
permanently tired
permanently tired
mouseteacup
Replies
4
Views
236
Recovery
AgentAlaniKelso
AgentAlaniKelso