Discussion What is that thing or goal that you keep living for?

[brimstonenfire_rain]

Is there something you're still living for? a reason to live? that you would let yourself die without?

 

[busybee]

I am the type of person that cries all day when they have to call in sick cause it makes me feel so guilty so I cannot get past the guilt of leaving my family behind. Also my SO says if I die he will die and I would not want to cause a death besides mine.
Plus I am the main household income and feel responsible.

 

[iLikeFrogs]

Probably just my SI and lack of a suitable method. Also this small glimpse of hope that maybe it'll get better

 

[trashprincess]

I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...

 

[brimstonenfire_rain]

I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...

Yes I'm looking for it too, and yes I think it's extremely difficult that it now seems impossible

 

[Cássius]

for my friends, i love them very much, and they mean literally everything to me, they are all i have.
even though my dad calls them "faggots"(one of them is a trans boy, but for my father it's a "faggy"), they are everything to me, i don't spend a lot of time in person with them (i live in the country and they live in the city), i talk to them all the time, and the times i spend time with them they are the happiest moments I have, they make me feel important and love me like no one in my family ever has loved.
Obviously it's a shitty way to live basing my life on another persons, but idc.

 

[Graycy09]

It might sound a bit silly, but I want to know how some of my favorite shows end. I've also been playing the piano for a few years and I want to learn how to play all the pieces on my list. I think having something to look forward to, like a concert or a trip, really helps (:

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I honestly don't have a thing I'm living for. I wish I did. But every time I get worse, there is nothing to stop me. Needless to say, I want to live, but only because this time in my life is good. But maybe I'll find something like that one day :)

 

[Hollowman]

I'd like to be able to feel it when my mom tells me she loves me. I've been numb for so long it does'nt seem like it's going to happen.

 

[conarc]

Need to get my divorce completed so that my mum does not need to deal with it. I also want to spend some of the money which I will get out of this.

 

[sp4rk]

My cat is the reason I am alive for now. I only recently adopted her last year and she is very special to me since I did not have many pets for the longterm when I was younger.

 

[StolenLife]

I want to finish University.

 

[Bobbylobby]

Though I'm trying to find more reasons to keep going.. currently its just my girlfriend that's my main motivation

 

[immrw]

my cat 💕💖💓 i love her so much

 

[iwanttoleave2000]

I need a longterm relationship. I am confident if I have this it will be my ticket to happiness.

Since I am weird (gen z sense of humor and interests) and I don’t have any social skills (specifically the ability to create casual conversation) I need to become as attractive as possible so I can be appealing to women.

I’ve currently been abusing steroids and training and dieting for years to build the perfect body. Now I am working on getting perfect hair, regularly coloring it and getting treatments, working on perfecting styling it, etc. I might look into saving for plastic surgery at some point next for the perfect face.

I want someone to hold me the way I need to be held. It seems like such a simple goal, but it feels so completely impossible...

Yes one of my goals also. I am severely touch starved. For now I have to settle for the few seconds of physical contact I get from hair stylists when they wash my hair.

 

[Torrinedw]

im not really sure, because sometimes i hit the point when i dont care about anything at all. but i think the reason i keep going is the fact that im "taking care" of my suicidal friends, even tho am going through a lot as well, i am always trying to be here for them and im not sure if they would have someone to vent to if im gone.

 

[TheMetalHead]

Hearing my favourite band's album that comes up this September and my cat, nothing else really

 

[Tobacco]

I know this is the recovery section but what motivates me is something "negative". First I want to translate an introduction to philosophy to the english language. Then I want to translate antinatalist material to spanish.

Also I want to see if I can be useful to a charity.

 

[ang3lz]

Just my boyfriend really. As much as I feel like a burden, I'm scared to hurt him and burden him with the trauma of dealing with my death.

 

[catotoctb]

First of all, my partner, who helps me troughout this nightmare called life. I would like to marry them. On the other hand, would like to know that im capable of finish university and work that career out.

 

[Csmith8827]

Independence and freedom

 

[neonzebra]

There are still some possibilities of having fun out there. Also my cat...

 

[sadwriter]

There's this one longform piece of fiction that I've been working on for years but am still yet to finish. It means a lot to me and it's definitely something that I think of that pulls me out of wanting to CTB just yet.

Also, more generally, the desire to make some sort of positive impact on the world, even if it's small.

 

[Jojo_Kun]

Firstly, Sometimes I feel like maybe just maybe things will turn out alright and I would be able to escape this hell. Secondly I have reasoned that even if I remain depressed and Sui**dal in future, If I can make this world a slightly better place with me in it, my life would be worth living. Since childhood I always wanted to help poor, helpless people and if I get a job I wanna help them financially. I have just recently joined an NGO which deals with helpless children and I wanna be a full time active member there. Imagining this pathetic life of me can bring some joy in this world makes me hopeful. Yes it would be tough, painful for me but atleast someone's life would be better. But somtimes this darkness becomes so unbearable that I just want to die. I don't wanna face this thing forever.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Suicidal again since my latest shot at functioning failed, but trying hard to make it through for my fiancé. I just have to cope until I can see him again in November. And then he’ll take care of me.

I also have many unattainable goals, but in the moment, that and my stupid obsession with doll collecting. Which I cannot afford to support thanks to my dysfunction.

 

[Marine]

Love, beauty and life ideally. At the very least I need some loving moments with someone of my type before I can die...

 

[Softwind]

If I were to live for longer, I would just like to see if I'm able to achieve my dreams (Ex: the career I want, make friends, etc).

 

[KushComa]

For me its my mother. She does so much for her children, and I just want to be able to make her truly proud one day before I die.

 

[Tulip<3]

The biggest ones for me are my sister and my 3 year old niece. I just can’t leave my sister behind and I also can’t break my niece’s little heart, she loves me a lot. Also, my cat.
I do have a bit of hope for the future too. I want to give things more of a good go. I still don’t really want a long life though. Doesn’t appeal to me.

 

[nolifeleft]

Is there something you're still living for? a reason to live? that you would let yourself die without?

i want to live in the netherlands or in a very pedestrian friendly/walkable sustainable city similar to amsterdam. i believe a huge part of why i feel this way is the lack of social safety nets and me having to lock myself in my house bc there’s nothing to do outside, as well as these countries having great social safety nets. hopefully when i move abroad i will feel a little better

also my cats