What is stopping you?

[PartyDress]

Lethargy, and fear of hanging.

 

[truehappiness]

Mostly fear to be honest.

People play "catch me" with the DSL site that could offer a painless exit without consequence via SN if something goes wrong so I have to plan for CO.
But CO can be so terribly difficult and dangerous if gone wrong.

But I am just not smart enough and especially not in the right headspace to clue together the "hints" to find the site...

My life is already miserable
I don't want to make it any more miserable than it already is when I survive it

I just want to exit. I just want this misery to finally find an end.

My mental issues have started to affect me physically by constricting my airways and I can't keep holding on anymore.

Hanging seems like a sure fire way to die
But also like one of the more painful ones... Especially since I do not have any way to attach the rope anywhere

 

[Liebestod]

Me, myself, and I. Lmao

 

[ewlife]

Not having access to a gun in Canada. I want the immediacy of death after pulling the trigger, no waiting time.

 

[Spite]

- Don't have a reliable method
- Feel really bad thinking about how devastated my mother and wife would be
- There are some rare, fleeting good moments in life that I genuinely enjoy whenever they occur. But again, they're rare. If I'm dead I will never be able to enjoy those few good things ever again. But then I loop back around to asking myself - is the overwhelming pain and misery of being alive worth it just for those small crumbs of happiness and contentment?

 

[InTheAbyss]

Right now it's mostly a broken promise that was broken on a missunderstanding. I want to clear that up before I go.

 

[krsm98]

mostly guilt of leaving someone important to me all alone from convos ive had with them and its just something that os preventing me from doing it ngl. I just want to go but also dont want to bring more pain to that person than necessary, but man am i tired of living

 

[peewee]

waiting for my stuff to arrive...then probably waiting for the right time. I need alot of time alone before I'm found. also occasionally clinging onto hope that quickly is lost. Also afraid of it going wrong....but it wont, I know it will work which is both scary and comforting

 

[wolverine]

fomo I guess. I have this lingering fear of missing out on better things even though I know I'm mostly incapable of having what I need and want to be happy. I'm able to tap into moments where death hardly scares me, but this nagging voice keeps telling me "but what if it CAN get better?" and I agonize over what I could've had which makes me hesitate because hey, what if a magical fairy is right around the corner and ready to give me all I've ever wanted, and suicide would prevent that?

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

i'll change the trajectory of the lives of everyone who loves me

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Not having access to a gun in Canada. I want the immediacy of death after pulling the trigger, no waiting time.

It's my only real option. I need to compose myself enough to go buy one and again to stick it in my mouth. But I am so cowardly and lethargic right now, just rotting at home playing sudoku and watching YouTube, thinking maybe I'll wake up and be tough. At this point I have to "beat depression" in order to kill myself.

One thing is clear, it's gotta be a gun. It's easier to get rope and I can imagine a smoother transition--not just BANG--but I've already failed hanging for months. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen thanks to my state's respect for the right to bear arms.

 

[outerspaceangel999]

I think it's both fear and hope honestly.

A part of me truly hopes things can still get better and I can actually make something out of myself, have a life that's not so miserable to look back on. There are a lot of things I'd miss too, especially music. The idea of death never feels as good when I remember it comes with silence. I guess I can't get used to the idea of never being conscious again. And I need to admit my friends do make life worth living too for me.

At the same time, I feel really fucking scared sometimes. I thought I was dying a few weeks ago, not because of my own doing, and I was actually terrified. I managed to calm myself down before I realized it was all in my head, but my first reaction was to be absolutely terrified, and I don't think that's how I wanna feel in my last moments, if that's a choice I get to make. And that's pretty much it.

 

[aego]

fear/unreliable methods. my first few attempts kinda turned me off until i can find something guaranteed to work like SN