glowing.purple.aura
Student
- Sep 15, 2025
- 104
I'm not built for this life or any life for that matter. Existing is way too difficult for me and I don't know how I'll ever manage to live on my own. My brain and body are constantly shutting down and I can't handle any social interactions. I'm always in a state of severe anxiety and depression so I rarely take care of myself or my surroundings. Even the ever so little responsibilities that I have now feel like enough weight to crush me to death. I don't think I'll ever get better because life will continue to just get worse—that's exactly what it's been doing ever since I was born. I also feel like I'm way too aware of how much evil is in this world to a point of no return. How am I supposed to live a happy and fulfilling life when I know everything about my life is designed to control, desensitize, and poison me? I'm way older than I thought I would ever live to be. I expected to be dead by suicide at 15, then 16, then 17, then 18 and now I'm 19 and so fearful that I won't be able to successfully kill myself before I have to enter "the real world" which I'm way too damaged and emotional to survive in.
