Discussion What if you live into old age?

[Baskol1]

Could you somehow manage to live into old age, and not commiting suicide? If yes, how could you manage this? Or how long do you will stay alive? Will you soon ctb, or will you wait some years? Maybe even decades before you will ctb? I personally will probably wait some years, but i dont think i live into old age, especially if it does not get better in the next decades. Do you want to die soon?

 

[MerrySkeleton]

This is one of my greatest fears, especially if I end up in a position where I have to work some terrible job to support myself. The idea of being 50+ years old and having to show up day in and day out to some job I hate just so I can go home to an empty apartment terrifies me. I would hope that I have the courage to end it well before I get to that point.

 

[Fragile]

i really hope i don't live to be 30 at most, getting old scares the fuck out of me, life is already shit and i can't even imagine how much worse it can really get.

 

[pole]

imo, i wouldnt. i just dont get why i'd wanna put myself through suffering for several more years? when i can just end it now and be at peace. it gets exhausting, you hope, wish and expect, yet face the same outcome over and over again.

 

[Baskol1]

imo, i wouldnt. i just dont get why i'd wanna put myself through suffering for several more years? when i can just end it now and be at peace. it gets exhausting, you hope, wish and expect, yet face the same outcome over and over again.

I dont know if i could really kill myself, thats why.

 

[pole]

I dont know if i could really kill myself, thats why.

thats the thing, i dont rather. but really thinking about my future, i know like when im around 23 or 24, and if things dont get better, im definitely dieing by my own hands and theres nothing to stop that.

 

[Baskol1]

thats the thing, i dont rather. but really thinking about my future, i know like when im around 23 or 24, and if things dont get better, im definitely dieing by my own hands and theres nothing to stop that.

Believe me its not that easy to kill yourself. Its extremely hard, and only the most desperate people kill themselves.

 

[pole]

Believe me its not that easy to kill yourself. Its extremely hard, and only the most desperate people kill themselves.

Yeah i know, but there comes a point where when you've gone through it for so long, all you feel is desperation.

 

[Baskol1]

Yeah i know, but there comes a point where when you've gone through it for so long, all you feel is desperation.

But i dont feel desperation, or atleast not only desperation, there is always a bit hope, but im not severely depressed, so i dont know.

 

[pole]

But i dont feel desperation, or atleast not only desperation, there is always a bit hope, but im not severely depressed, so i dont know.

same like I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to, but theres this little tiny kernel of hope lingering inside of me? i definitely feel it'll be gone in a few years when or if i go through more suffering; thats when we'll essentially get fed up, not care anymore, and the desperation will kick in.

we definitely both feel the same way, isn't a suprise considering were the same age as well.

 

[Baskol1]

Yeah i know, but there comes a point where when you've gone through it for so long, all you feel is desperation.

why do you want to die anyway?

 

[pole]

why do you want to die anyway?

i don't really wanna go into it, but i've been severely depressed since i was 15. i actually tried to kill myself when i was 15 with a kitchen knife, but i didnt go deep enough.

iv always had suicidal ideations, i live like right beside a bridge. ill always be walking on that bridge, and just looking down, imagining me jumping. only if i wasnt so afraid of heights.

 

[Baskol1]

i don't really wanna go into it, but i've been severely depressed since i was 15. i actually tried to kill myself when i was 15 with a kitchen knife, but i didnt go deep enough.

iv always had suicidal ideations, i live like right beside a bridge. ill always be walking on that bridge, and just looking down, imagining me jumping. only if i wasnt so afraid of heights.

I want to live, want to achieve something in my life before i die, it will not be easy, but it is possible. you dont want that?

 

[Darkhaven]

I'm positively convinced that by then i will have been long gone.
Even before this whole suicidal shit started i was already saying that i would never live as an old man.
Now i think i won't even my 40's.
All i need is a good chance to snag some N, which has been very difficult lately.

 

[Baskol1]

I'm positively convinced that by then i will have been long gone.
Even before this whole suicidal shit started i was already saying that i would never live as an old man.
Now i think i won't even my 40's.
All i need is a good chance to snag some N, which has been very difficult lately.

Are you sure?

 

[pole]

I want to live, want to achieve something in my life before i die, it will not be easy, but it is possible. you dont want that?

whats there to look forward in achieving when all you see is sadness and negativity. its just so hard to be that positive, wanting to achieve something, hope you can, when you've been pessimistic for so long.

im happy that you feel that way though. thats truly amazing and i really do hope you achieve things that you desire to achieve.

 

[Baskol1]

whats there to look forward in achieving when all you see is sadness and negativity. its just so hard to be that positive, wanting to achieve something, hope you can, when you've been pessimistic for so long.

im happy that you feel that way though. thats truly amazing and i really do hope you achieve things that you desire to achieve.

But did you even try?
It seems like im the most optimistic here, but for "normal" people im still pessimistic.

 

[pole]

But did you even try?

well i am right now, given myself maybe a couple more years to see if things get better because i didnt have enough money for N this year.

trying requires so much energy and strength though if you've been bottled up in negativity and sadness for a while. but i am, through school again and work to try to better myself.

 

[Baskol1]

well i am right now, given myself maybe a couple more years to see if things get better because i didnt have enough money for N this year.

trying requires so much energy and strength though if you've been bottled up in negativity and sadness for a while. but i am, through school again and work to try to better myself.

"Normal" people are quite optimistic, i would say im realistic. And most here are extremely pessimistic, which should not surprise anyone.

 

[pole]

"Normal" people are quite optimistic, i would say im realistic. And most here are extremely pessimistic, which should not surprise anyone.

well that depends, whats the norm to you though. Its hard to really define or get a grasp at a norm. i feel as though even those that are what we think and see as normal can be pessimistic in their own ways.

 

[Baskol1]

well that depends, whats the norm to you though. Its hard to really define or get a grasp at a norm. i feel as though even those that are what we think and see as normal can be pessimistic in their own ways.

There is always someone crazier than you.

 

[gulrotpinne]

i dont want to live with this life anymore. its so bad

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

I have no intention of living until old age, even if my mental state turned around 180 degrees and stayed that way. If I'm still here when I'm 60, then something has gone dreadfully wrong.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I cant even fathom the idea. When I was in my teens, I remember telling my dead that I couldn't imagine being 30 and he replied with him having the same sentiment when he was my age but I'll get there. Looks like my teenage self was right after all although I wasn't ever actively suicidal until a few months ago.