What does your everyday life look like leading up to your ctb date?

[TripTheLight]

Life feels so weird right now that I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to end it pretty soon. I'm slowly planning how to get the rest of the stuff I need for my method, and what things I should sort out to make the process as easy as possible for my family. I've cut on spending money so I'd have as much of it for my family to use to cover my student loans and funeral costs, but other than that I'm living like I'm going to be around for much longer than I actually plan on. I try to finish my school work for this semester because giving up on them feels too daunting, what if I don't end up dying and then on top on being depressed I'm a fuck up who flunked out of school for nothing?

 

[CantDoIt]

I'm basically spending a lot of time in bed and reading stuff about death to see how it makes me feel. I'm also working from home right now so I can wallow more. I feel sort of dishonest, people know I'm depressed but not how seriously I'm considering this.